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Lars
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Quotes for
Lars (Character)
from Club Dread (2004)

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Club Dread (2004)
Lars: Back off, fun pig! You wanna fun-fucking-arrest me? You better get a fun-fucking-warrant! Otherwise, stay outta my... fun-fucking-face!

Jenny: Aren't you bringing any weapons?
Lars Bronkhorst: I have all the weapons I need.
Putman Livingston: Piss on that! I'm bringing a ma-she-tay!

Lars: I guess now they'll kick me out of the Pacifists Club.
Jenny: Or just ask you nicely to leave.

Lars: Are you familiar with the expression "sitting duck"?
Juan: Uhh, no.

Lars: What happened to the Jacuzzi?

Coconut Pete: I thought it was time to bring in the pro.
Sam, The Fun Police: Hank?
Coconut Pete: Yes, Hank. The head of security on all my tours.
Jenny: So, what? He keeps aging hippies from stealing the bong out of your tour bus?
Coconut Pete: It just so happens Hank used to be a federal agent. Yes, that's right. Headed a FBI task force on serial killers. Single-handedly caught the Minneapolis Mangler.
Lars: Who's the Minneapolis Mangler?
Hank: Exactly.
Dave: Pete, you are aware that I've personally served this guy twenty beers a day for the last ten years, right?
Hank: [shows a nasty scar on his side] Hey, I was in Nicaragua, junior! When you can stuff your intestines back in your pockets and walk twenty clicks to an aid station after a knife fight with guerilla drug lords, then you talk to me!

[after putting one of his patented massage moves on the killer]
Lars: He'll orgasm for another few minutes. Go!