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: I should tear your eyes out right now, but how would you ever be able to look at yourself in the morning?
: Question how does a girl who falls, no actually jumps eyes wide open, down a rabbit hole, plummeting into chaos come out unchanged? Stacy
: Answer, she doesn't.
: Perhaps luck exsists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all
: You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.
: Omission is betrayal.
: If we were the share our lives together, why didn't we share our lives together. I know you don't have to tell me everything Derek, but why wouldn't you want too? Unless there is someone else you are waiting for.
: Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Dr. Rachel Keyes
: Why don't you just relax, Barbara? Stacy
: Okay. Dr. Rachel Keyes
: I'm just going to put your feet in these stirrups. Stacy
: A gynecologist? Not a podiatrist? 10-to-1 those aren't for the opera! Dr. Rachel Keyes
: And we'll have a little look-see. Stacy
: Look-see? Where? Dr. Rachel Keyes
: Oops! Someone left their panties on! Stacy
: Oops! Dr. Rachel Keyes
: There we go. Good. Comfy? Stacy
: Well, let's see: I'm spread-eagle in front of my boyfriend's ex who's about to go searching for warts. Stacy
: Super, thanks. Dr. Rachel Keyes
: Barbara, you know what they say, right? You can never be too rich, too thin or too far down on the table, so let's scooch ya! Dr. Rachel Keyes
: I'm going to insert the speculum, now. Stacy
: Oh, good. Narration. Dr. Rachel Keyes
: You may feel a bit of pressure. Stacy
: OW! Dr. Rachel Keyes
: Oh, would you take a look at that cervix, Nurse Kisilevsky. Textbook. I'm not the first person who's told you that, I'm sure. Stacy
: Can't hear it enough!
: So, when was your last period? Stacy
: My what? Nurse Kisilevsky
: Your menses. Stacy
: I don't understand. Nurse Kisilevsky
: Okay. Each month you might notice a change in your body... Stacy
: I know what you mean. I just don't know why you'd want to know that kind of thing...
: I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end... we don't.
: It's my life! Carl
: It'll all be over soon. Stacy
: [Stacy gives horrified look
: I meant the show.
: There are moments in life when you hope your decisions weren't rash. And moments where you just know.
: You mean: Keyes to your vagina Bob?
: Keyes? As in "Keyes to your vagina", Bob?
: I've spent a life time looking for the truth and I have become the lie. Maybe some secrets should just stay secret.
] Actually, to be fair, you should go back a little further... starting with Mom. Don't worry. I'm not blaming her
: [about her mom
] She believed that all problems could be solved by listening to Carly Simon.
: It's history. It's over. The past is past. Stacy
: [Referring to Lulu
] That's before the past was a supermodel that barfed quietly. Derek
: You know, I don't pry into your old boyfriends. Stacy
: Here's a little tip: I never dated Brad Pitt.
: What's he do for a living? Stacy
: [referring to the NHL team
] He works for the Devils. Ira
: Who doesn't? Kidding.
: [On the phone
] Hello, Lulu Fritz? Ira Nachlis. Senior associate producer/producer, Kippie Kann Do. Listen, "I Model, Then I Barf Quietly"... is one of our highest-rated shows. Stacy
] What are you doing? Ira
: [to Stacy
] I am trying to give a young innocent her 15 minutes of fame. Now...
[back on the phone with Lulu
: I'm sorry. Lulu... we're thinking of having a special next month. We'd like you to come in tomorrow for an interview. Excellent. We'll do lunch and throw up... Catch up.
: I didn't date much. I was shy. And ugly. Stacy
] Why do supermodels say how ugly they were when they were young? Is it because they want us to know they suffered? Do they think that it makes them more deserving? That we'll forgive them their bounty? Note to supermodels: None of us believe you. Lulu Fritz
: No one invited me to the prom. Barb
] Makes you stronger.
: [talking to Bob, the dog
] Can you just not look at me like that, please? It's making me very uncomfortable. Stacy
: [Bob continues staring, not making a sound
[puts Derek's "private things" box away
: See? I'm done. Okay? Stacy
: [Bob still stares
] And don't judge me! Okay, Bob?
: [phone message
] Listen, I left my Palm at home. I need you to go through it and get me some numbers. Take care. Stacy
] Palm? Stacy
: [to Bob the dog
] Did you hear that, Bob? Derek left his Palm at home.
[gets up, with mock concern
: Guess we'll have to look for it. Stacy
: [Starts looking, still talking to Bob
] If I were a Palm, where would I be? If we were Palms, where would we be, Bob?
: Where is it? Where could it be right now? He asked for it. Where could it be? Stacy
: [Finds the Palm
] Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Okay, Bob? Life's about certainty. It's about being in control. Stacy
: [opens the Palm, sees a password is needed for access
] Password, password, password. What would his password be?
[Looks up at Bob, realizing his name is the password
: Thank you!