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Quotes for
Jake Donovan (Character)
from "Stark Raving Mad" (1999)

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"Stark Raving Mad: The Hypnotist (#1.14)" (2000)
Maddie: Ian's gonna hypnotize me.
Jake Donovan: Yeah, to do what? Quit smoking? Lose weight? Stop sleeping with losers?
Maddie: I don't smoke, I'm not fat and I don't... Can you help me with that too?


"Stark Raving Mad: The Dance (#1.9)" (1999)
Margaret 'Maddie' Keller: [to Ian] It's ridiculous to let your niece down just because you think you can't dance. Jake, sing something.
Jake Donovan: [raps loudly] Mah bitch don't know 'cause she kinda slow, money don't grow on the trees, you ho! Woman, get a JOB!
[everyone stares in horror]
Jake Donovan: What? It's a song!


"Stark Raving Mad: My Bodyguard (#1.13)" (2000)
Maddie: Look, this jerk over there keeps hitting on me, so pretend to be my boyfriend. Okay, sweetie?
Jake Donovan: Sure. Why don't you go make me a sandwich? And give me some money.
Maddie: I said boyfriend, not husband!


"Stark Raving Mad: The Crush (#1.12)" (2000)
Jake Donovan: I've lived in your apartment for two years, I've never seen you like this. I heard you singing in the shower this morning.
Ian Stark: That was the pipes.
Jake Donovan: The pipes don't sing "You Light Up My Life."
Ian Stark: Look, I was willing to believe "the television" ordered fifty dollars worth of porn, so drop it!