Dennis
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Quotes for
Dennis (Character)
from The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy (2000)

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The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy (2000)
Dennis: Benji, there isn't a straight man in America who doesn't refer to anyone but his girlfriend as 'girlfriend'.
Benji: I know, but I was so butch when I said it.

Kevin: You scared me.
Dennis: It's my house, I'm allowed to do that.

Kevin: I don't get you guys. Is that all you do, you just sit around and talk about guys?
Dennis: Either that, or we talk about guys.

Dennis: I can't decide if my friends are the best or worst thing that ever happened to me.

Dennis: Where is my living room?
Taylor: Oh it's still here, I just shifted it around a little.
Dennis: No, this is YOUR living room. You didn't shift my living room around, you shifted my living room out and your living room in. So, where is my living room?
Taylor: Distributed evenly around the house.
Dennis: Distribute it back.
Taylor: It took me all day!
Dennis: So now you'll be done in time to set your curlers for bed.
Taylor: Okay Dennis, look at it this way: a new furniture arrangement is like a new hairstyle, you have to live with it for a few days before you can tell whether you really like it or not.
Dennis: That is not true. I haven't had a shag, but I wouldn't have to live with one for a few days to know that I don't want one.

Cole: Thank God you're home.
Dennis: Thanks to Mufasa here, it's now a Tunisian hut.
Taylor: Why do I even try?

Taylor: I hear Kip Rodgers is a big fag.
Dennis: Kip Rodgers is not gay, he's married.
Taylor: Oh please, that's right up there with "He's not gay, he's in a fraternity."

Kevin: So, what - you're not attracted to me?
Dennis: Of course I'm attracted to you. I've been crazy about you ever since you lit the candles. Kevin, you were the wish.

Dennis: Is that the girl from 'Young and the Restless'?
Howie: I'm so over Y&R.

Dennis: I thought my mom would be cooler, she was a 60's love child. When she caught me smoking pot with my friends all she said was 'I hope you didn't pay market for that'. But when I told her I was gay she didn't speak to me for a month.
Kevin: How is she now?
Dennis: Better. She still refers to the homosexual community as 'The Gays', like they live on her block.
[in a feminine voice]
Dennis: 'Dennis, I heard The Gays had a parade... did you go'?

Howie: Look! Benji's talking to Idaho Guy!
Dennis: Who?
Howie: Idaho Guy. He's Benji's newest crush. Benji's been working out near him for weeks in hopes that Idaho Guy would notice.
Dennis: Why do you call him Idaho Guy?
Patrick: I don't know. He just kind of... looks like he's from Idaho. It's not one of our better ones.

Dennis: You told them!
Kevin: It just kind of slipped out. My mom said she made some key lime pie, and I said 'great, I love key lime pie... and I'm gay'.
Dennis: I bet she wishes she made apple pie instead.

Dennis: You like The Carpenters.
Kevin: Oh, insanely.
Dennis: Well, here's to your first OGT. Obviously Gay Trait. Mine are: love of The Carpenters, culinary interests, and intense fear of blood sports.

Dennis: You're right, it looked lonely.

Dennis: If Larry Kramer knew this is how gay men in America spent their time, he'd defect.
Howie: He probably would.
Patrick: Larry Kramer can blow me.
Howie: He probably would.

Dennis: Ice.
Dennis: Yes, there is... ice *and*... I will go get it.

Dennis: [to Howie after Purple Guy gives a beautiful eulogy for Jack] I know why Jack was with him.

Dennis: Oh, everyone gets dumped first time around. It's the rule of all newbie relationships.
Kevin: What happens next? Do I become like you and your friends?
Dennis: You don't even know my friends.
Kevin: Yeah, I know them well enough to know that you're just a bunch of bitter, jaded...
Dennis: Fags? Go ahead and say it.
Kevin: [overtalking Dennis] I wasn't gonna say it. I wasn't gonna say that.
Dennis: You should. Maybe then you'd be less afraid of what it means.
Kevin: Why can't everything just slow down?
Dennis: I promise, it will. But you can't go back now. At least go have a cup of coffee with me?
Kevin: One condition.
Dennis: What?
Kevin: West Hollywood's that way.
[points]
Kevin: Show me one thing you find interesting that way.
[points in other direction]

Dennis: Thanks Betty, you always know just what to say.
Betty: [not having spoken] It's a gift.

Dennis: [Cole and Kevin are making out behind the bleachers] Cole...
Cole: [holds finger up as they continue making out]
Dennis: You're up in 2.
Cole: Oh. Thanks Den.
[leaves]
Dennis: [approaches Kevin] Hey.
Kevin: Hey.
Dennis: So, still deciding if you're gay?