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: Benji, there isn't a straight man in America who doesn't refer to anyone but his girlfriend as 'girlfriend'. Benji
: I know, but I was so butch when I said it.
: You scared me. Dennis
: It's my house, I'm allowed to do that.
: I don't get you guys. Is that all you do, you just sit around and talk about guys? Dennis
: Either that, or we talk about guys.
: I can't decide if my friends are the best or worst thing that ever happened to me.
: Where is my living room? Taylor
: Oh it's still here, I just shifted it around a little. Dennis
: No, this is YOUR living room. You didn't shift my living room around, you shifted my living room out and your living room in. So, where is my living room? Taylor
: Distributed evenly around the house. Dennis
: Distribute it back. Taylor
: It took me all day! Dennis
: So now you'll be done in time to set your curlers for bed. Taylor
: Okay Dennis, look at it this way: a new furniture arrangement is like a new hairstyle, you have to live with it for a few days before you can tell whether you really like it or not. Dennis
: That is not true. I haven't had a shag, but I wouldn't have to live with one for a few days to know that I don't want one.
: Thank God you're home. Dennis
: Thanks to Mufasa here, it's now a Tunisian hut. Taylor
: Why do I even try?
: I hear Kip Rodgers is a big fag. Dennis
: Kip Rodgers is not gay, he's married. Taylor
: Oh please, that's right up there with "He's not gay, he's in a fraternity."
: So, what - you're not attracted to me? Dennis
: Of course I'm attracted to you. I've been crazy about you ever since you lit the candles. Kevin, you were the wish.
: Is that the girl from 'Young and the Restless'? Howie
: I'm so over Y&R.
: I thought my mom would be cooler, she was a 60's love child. When she caught me smoking pot with my friends all she said was 'I hope you didn't pay market for that'. But when I told her I was gay she didn't speak to me for a month. Kevin
: How is she now? Dennis
: Better. She still refers to the homosexual community as 'The Gays', like they live on her block.
[in a feminine voice
: 'Dennis, I heard The Gays had a parade... did you go'?
: Look! Benji's talking to Idaho Guy! Dennis
: Who? Howie
: Idaho Guy. He's Benji's newest crush. Benji's been working out near him for weeks in hopes that Idaho Guy would notice. Dennis
: Why do you call him Idaho Guy? Patrick
: I don't know. He just kind of... looks like he's from Idaho. It's not one of our better ones.
: You told them! Kevin
: It just kind of slipped out. My mom said she made some key lime pie, and I said 'great, I love key lime pie... and I'm gay'. Dennis
: I bet she wishes she made apple pie instead.
: You like The Carpenters. Kevin
: Oh, insanely. Dennis
: Well, here's to your first OGT. Obviously Gay Trait. Mine are: love of The Carpenters, culinary interests, and intense fear of blood sports.
: You're right, it looked lonely.
: If Larry Kramer knew this is how gay men in America spent their time, he'd defect. Howie
: He probably would. Patrick
: Larry Kramer can blow me. Howie
: He probably would.
: Ice. Dennis
: Yes, there is... ice *and*... I will go get it.
: [to Howie after Purple Guy gives a beautiful eulogy for Jack
] I know why Jack was with him.
: Oh, everyone gets dumped first time around. It's the rule of all newbie relationships. Kevin
: What happens next? Do I become like you and your friends? Dennis
: You don't even know my friends. Kevin
: Yeah, I know them well enough to know that you're just a bunch of bitter, jaded... Dennis
: Fags? Go ahead and say it. Kevin
: [overtalking Dennis
] I wasn't gonna say it. I wasn't gonna say that. Dennis
: You should. Maybe then you'd be less afraid of what it means. Kevin
: Why can't everything just slow down? Dennis
: I promise, it will. But you can't go back now. At least go have a cup of coffee with me? Kevin
: One condition. Dennis
: What? Kevin
: West Hollywood's that way.
: Show me one thing you find interesting that way.
[points in other direction
: Thanks Betty, you always know just what to say. Betty
: [not having spoken
] It's a gift.
: [Cole and Kevin are making out behind the bleachers
] Cole... Cole
: [holds finger up as they continue making out
: You're up in 2. Cole
: Oh. Thanks Den.
: [approaches Kevin
] Hey. Kevin
: Hey. Dennis
: So, still deciding if you're gay?