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W.C. Fields as Scrooge
: He once told me to treat the warehouse like it was my own. Humphrey Bogart
: What did you do? W.C. Fields as Scrooge
: I sold it.
Paul Lynde as Bob Cratchit
: Do you know he's so cheap he even has a burglar alarm on his garbage cans?
: We were wondering if you would like to make a small donation for the poor. W.C. Fields as Scrooge
: Ah, no. Stan Laurel
: In that case, how would you like to make a large donation? W.C. Fields as Scrooge
: Not interested. When I give to charity I wish to remain anonymous. That's why I don't give anything. Oliver Hardy
: But sir! What are we going to tell the poor, the needy and the destitute? W.C. Fields as Scrooge
: Ah, tell them to use Hamburger Helper. Stan Laurel
: Well that a wonderful idea Ollie. I bet they never thought of that!
: You can count on me. You can always find me at Little Joe's Cream Puff Emporium.
: I don't know of you're aware, my boy, but you're being pursued. The entrepreneur of this establishment, a French fried potato enthusiast desires your immediate demise. Maxwell Smart