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: Candace, what are you doing? Candace
: Running for my life, what does it look like?
: Phineas, where's this rescue party of yours? Phineas
: Come to think of it, I may have misspelt "time machine" in the plans.
: Well, I hope that's not going to be an issue.
: [picking up an electrical cord when the time machine doesn't work
] You built a time machine that has to be PLUGGED IN?
: [sitting outside, on the steps
] You got tossed out too, huh? Candace
: Yeah, for yelling. Django
: You yelled in a museum? That is hardcore. Candace
: Why'd you get tossed out? Django
: Stole a pterodactyl. It's not like I yelled.
: [when the time machine transports them
] Well, it's working now. Candace
: What? What's working?
[walks up to a T-Rex and runs back
: Take me home. Take me home. Take me home. Take me home. Take me home. TAKE ME HOME! Phineas
: Sure Candace. No problem. Ferb
: [after the T-Rex stomps on the time machine
] This could be a problem.
: [seeing the T-Rex directly over them
] What ever you do... keep your voices low and no sudden movements. Candace
: [panics hysterically and runs off
] Ahhhhhhhhh! Phineas
: Wow! It worked. Let's go save Candace. Follow that T-Rex!... Wait, we don't have helmets.
: [being carried by a brontosaurus-like dinosaur
] Hey, what a stroke of luck. Look! Candace
: And how is THIS better? Phineas
: This one is a vegetarian. Candace
: So, it's not going to eat us? Phineas
: [looking around at the prehistoric world
] Wow! Isn't this amazing? Candace
: You guys better figure out a way to get us home. "Cause if we don't get home, I can't bust you for this!
: [almost crying
] Oohhh!I can't believe I am just stuck here. I can't beleive I'll never get to get my driver license or wear my dream dress to the prom.
[sitting down and drawing in the mud
: But most of all, I can't believe I'll never get to see Jeremy again.
[to her brother who are meditating
: How long are we supposed to just sit here? Phineas
] I don't know. Ferb and I have decided to use this time as an opportunity to proactive patience. Candace
] Lovely. Well I suppose things can't get any worse.
[its starts to rain
: Oh look, the worlds first bad hair day... So Phineas, where's this rescue party you sent for?
: [after Isabella and her troop arrive to rescue them
] We're saved! Isabella
: [to Phineas
] You know, there's an M in time machine. Phineas
: Yeah, sorry... Take it away, Ferb.
: [confronted again with the T-Rex
] Candace... no sudden movements. Candace
] What does it matter? We're all doomed anyway. I mean where are we suppose to find electricity in dinosaur land?
[is struck by lightening, sending them back
: [back at the museum
] Boy, that was a close one. Lucky for them I was there or we'd still be trying to escape that...
[walks directly into the live dinosaur, before running away
: T-REX! Ahhhhh!
: Hey you know kids, these fossils are of creatures that lived right here in Danville millions of year ago. Mom
: Lucky these things aren't still here today. Candace
] No. Lucky would be if we weren't still here today.
: Why do I have to endure this suffering while Phineas and Ferb are off who knows where, doing who knows what...
[stops as she sees them
: WHAT are you doing? Phineas
: Fixing a time machine. Candace
: You broke the exhibit? I'm telling mom!
] Mom, mom! Evidence! Museum Guard
: Whoa there, missy. There's no yelling. Didn't you read the sign? Candace
: Oh, that's right. It's a museum.
: I wouldn't wanna wake anyone up!
: [after repeatedly appearing
] Hi, Jeremy Jeremy
: Candace, you're really kinda freaking me out.
: Mom, Phineas and Ferb are in the Gadgets of the Ages exhibit and they're doing something to this chari thing!
: [about the foot print
] Hey, that looks familiar. You guys, come here. Anyone recognize that bad boy? Candace
: Uh, that looks like a foot print from the beast that tried to eat me alive! Phineas
: And it happens to the very same foot print that's fossilized in the museum. Candace
: Great! But how does that help us get out of prehistoric times?
: [trying to stop them
] Mom, dad. Don't go in there! There's a live tyranasur! Mom
: [to Lawrence
] That's your imagination, hun. Dad
: How 'bout we go check out that scary dinosaur. Candace
: No, no! Don't go in there! He's going to eat you. I'm telling you! Mom
: [they walk around the corner to see a frozen t-rex
] Well you're right, Candace. It's very life-like.
: Oh, snap!
: Attention Candace! Come out to the back yard. We have a surprise for you! Candace
: What's going on now? Phineas
: [as she and Stacy come outside
] Hey, Candace. Check out your old tree house. I think you're going to like it.
: Phineas, what does THF stand for? Phineas
: Tree House Fight!
: What's the first thing you're going to do at camp? Candace
: First of all it's not camp. It's just grandma and grandpa's cabin and it's boring. Phineas
: [holding one up
] But we made t-shirts. Candace
: Second, I don't like the outdoors. I don't like bugs!
: [as their tree house is attacked
] What now? Stacy
: [looking over their machines
] Try pulling some levers!
: [on her cell phone
] Hello?... Hello? Ugh! What do you have to do to find a cell signal in this place? Grandma
: Candace! Candace
: Oh hi, grandma. How can you stand it living out here in the middle of nowhere? Grandma
: Oh come on, honey. It's not so bad.
: [swating flies
] Ohh, pesky bugs! I am trying to tan here. Phineas
: [holding a glass out to her
] Hey, Candace. I thought I'd bring my favorite camp counselor a 'Phineas Special'. Candace
: That's just a glass of limeade and I am not a counselor.
: Am I the only adult here? Why can't my grandpa act his own age? Grandma
: [walking up to her
] I think you should act your age and have a little fun!
: [as they look around the walk around the tree house
] Maybe my brothers have been replaced by aliens. Stacy
: Yeah! Now they're gonna fatten you up so they can eatcha!
] I can't take it anymore! Phineas
: It was just a joke, Candace. Candace
: You're a joke, Phineas! Grandpa Clyde
: Candace, honey. Calm down. Candace
: [almost hysterical
] Calm down? Calm down? I don't wanna calm down! Grandpa Clyde
: Your screaming might attract a real bigfoot. Candace
: A real bigfoot? Oh give it a rest, Phineas.
: [as she is leaving
] call if there's any trouble Candace
: With my brothers, might as well call now.
: [after the kids run of scared, laughing
] Ha, ha, ha! Looks like we fooled 'em, Ma. Grandma
: [unzipping the Bigfoot costume, laughing
] Did you see the look on their faces? Candace
: That was so cool!
: [laughing to the kids
] I sure got you guys! You should have seen your faces. Only unsophisticated, immature brains would believe in monsters. Yes, it takes a mature adult such as myself to know... that there... is no... such... thing as gggg- bigfoot!
[sees Doofenshmirtz being chased by the tree bigfoots, screams and runs into the house
: [as the kind turn to see an empty path with a full moon
] Oh, I do not believe her one bit! Too much overacting.
: [seeing Phineas and Ferb in the garage
] What are you doing to Mom's car? Phineas
] We tricked it out!
: [seeing her car at home
] They washed my car? Candace
] Yes! No! What?
: You don't even know how to drive. Phineas
: Well, duh! That's why Ferb built this remote.
[holding the controls
: Oh, you are so busted!
: [after searching the house
] Where's mom? Phineas
: [as Ferb jumps on the engine
] She's playing Bridge at Mrs.Garcia-Shapiro's.
: They won't get away with is this time.
: Mom! Mom! Mom
: What is it, Candace? Candace
: You have got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing!
: [yelling around the stands
] Phineas? Phineas? Phineas! Racing Spectator
: [loudly annoyed
] Hey, I can't hear the cars!
: Phineas, you are big trouble, mister!
[as the cars take off, covering her is smoke and dust
: But Mom, you've gotta believe me. Wait a minute. I bet it's still on TV. Mom
: That's good, Candace. Go watch a little TV.
: I have got to take a new picture of myself for my blog. I didn't realize mine's already a week old.
: Hey, Candace. You're on the big screen.
[shows her yelling in slow-motion
: And your little brother's gonna be a on TV. Candace
: Phineas on TV? TV, that's it! They are so busted!
: [handing her the picture
] Well Mom, what do you think of this? Mom
] You've looked better. Candace
: [takes the picture back
] Uh, what do you mean?
[its the picture of her covered in dust
: [on the vid-phone
] Candace, don't worry, it's pre-programmed. As long as you don't start hitting buttons randomly, everything will be okay! Candace
] I can't hear you! I'm too busy hitting buttons randomly!
: [over the vid-phone
] Candace, just go over to the door and take a little spacewalk to our ship. Candace
: What? Phineas
: There's nothing to be scared of. Candace
: Nothing to be scared of? There's a never-ending, icy-cold, soul-sucking darkness of space? Phineas
] I heard negatives.
: [climbing into the rocket, annoyed
] Brothers! Does every sister have to deal with this? No! Do I have to deal with this? Of course! You think I have better things to do and other things to worry about. Every single day, it's one thing after another, but do mom and day see it? No!
: [looking at the consul
] Uh guys? What are all these red flashing things heading towards my rocket? Phineas
: Yeah, those are asteroids. Candace
] Asteroids? Ahhhhhhhhhh!
: It wouldn't be hard to ask Jeremy out if he was growing out of the back of my head!
: [as the rocket spotters
] Why are we stopping? Phineas
: I don't get it. We have plenty of fuel.
[looking at the gages
: The battery's worn down. Candace, were you using the video phone with out the engine running? Candace
: Yeah, was that a bad thing? Phineas
: If by bad, you mean we're stranded in the never-ending, icy-cold, soul-sucking darkness of space? Yeha!
: [on the vid-phone
] You need another jump start? Candace, didn't you have the engine running when we were talking on the video phone? Candace
] Am I the only person who doesn't know this?
: Does this suit make my butt look big? Phineas
: Yes, yes it does.
: [looking out the windows
] It's mom's car. We're saved! Ferb, toss me the starter remote. Candace
: What's a starter remote? Phineas
: Well legally we're to young to start a car. we get away with it by using a starter remote. But 'you', Candace have your learner's permit. Looks like you'll be doing the jump starting. Candace
: What? No no no no no! Can't you guys find some old nuts and bolts lying around and jury-rig up some kind of meachiny-dealy bob and get us out of this situation? Ferb
: [just looks at her
] ... Candace, we are just kids.
: [seeing the car fly by them
] Now how is she passing us? Candace
: Phineas, what are you doing?
: Okay, who turned off the sun?
] Oh Candace, go find us some food. Yeah, like a quart of ice cream is just gonna...
[is hit with soft-server
: We don't need to eat, we need to get out of here. I swear if I don't get to Jeremy's party...
[is promptly kissed by a monkey
: [seeing the mountain erupt
] Volcano? We need to move now! Candace
: [stalking back to the beach
] Wait until mom and dad find out. Phineas
: [running past her with Isabella
] Run Candace! Pink lava behind you!
: [after Candace is dropped into the tree-house by monkeys
] So what do you think of our shelter? Candace
] Can't you just be normal for one day?
: [from the tree-house
] So Candace, you want a banana smoothie? Candace
: I got you guys this time! There's no way you can dismantle your stupid tropical dream house before I drag Mom back here to bust you!
[stalking off through the jungle
: So, no smoothie than?
: Candace, why don't you look for some food? And boys, you can find us some shelter if you'd like. We may be here for a while. Candace
: A while? You mean we're stranded? That means I won't get to Jeremy's party before the sun sets! We'll be stuck here forever, eating rocks and bugs, then I'll have to marry a monkey and have monkey kids and name them Xavier and Amanda!
: And we'll love them anyway. Candace, the sooner we get started, the sooner we all get to go home.
] You're giving a monkey a shower? Ferb
: Yep, had to be done.
: [mocking her father
] "Oh, Candace, go find us some food."
: Yeah, like a quart of ice cream is gonna just drop out of the...
[strawberry ice cream falls on her head
[Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Candice, Phineas, Ferb and Perry are linked together by a chain hovering over a lava pit. Candace catches a key
] Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
: Oh, great, you caught it! Unlock me. Candace Flynn
: Are you even paying attention? Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
: [realizing he would fall into the lava pit if he was unlocked
] Uh, that's right, i... it can wait. Later.
[Perry, shackled by chains to Phineas, Ferb, Candace and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, is holding onto the side of a cage above a lava pit
] Phineas Flynn
: Perry, let go! Candace Flynn
: What? No! No! DON'T let go! Phineas Flynn
: Perry, trust me! Candace Flynn
: Two words, la-va!
] I'm gonna bust my brothers to my mom, and I'm gonna fail!
: [finds her parents in the cinema
] Mom! Linda Flynn-Fletcher
: Candace, what are you doing here? Candace Flynn
: You gotta come outside and bust the boys! Linda Flynn-Fletcher
: I'm not leaving now. The girl is about to forgive the guy for the cliché misunderstanding.
[a Normbot comes through the screen
] Linda Flynn-Fletcher
: Well, after she battles these robots. Lawrence Fletcher
: Whoa, this 3D is amazing!
: Good-bye childhood folly, hello carefree, undemanding adult life! Linda Flynn-Fletcher
: Yeah. Good luck with that.
: I spent every day of my life trying to protect MY little brothers. I had to grow up pretty quick around here to make sure THEY didn't have to. Candace Flynn
: Gee, you make growing up sound like it's a BAD thing.
: You two, I've been spending all these years trying to keep my brothers safe, and suddenly their faces are all over the doofen-channel. Phineas Flynn
: We're just trying to go home. Candace-2
: Well, what's stopping you? Phineas Flynn
: Right now? Quantam physics.
: You two - keep your heads down, and remember your training! Phineas-2
: We never HAD any training! Candace-2
: Well, keep your heads down!
[Alternate Dimension Phineas and Alternate Dimension Ferb lower their heads
: Consider yourself trained.
: [upon seeing the rollercoaster out the supermarket
] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Mom!
: Mom says, I'm in charge, conditionally.
: [while Phineas and Ferb are buidling the rollercoaster
] Will you hold it down! I am trying to use the phone!
: Mom! You gotta see what Phineas and Ferb are doing!
: I'm telling Mom, and you're going down! Down, down, down! D-O-W-N, DOWN!
: You got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing! Mom
: Seems like we've had this conversation before. Candace
: What do you mean? Mom
: I seem to recall you telling me that the boys were training monkeys to juggle bicycles, and when I got home, there was a stunning lack of monkeys. Candace
: I don't know how they cleaned that up so fast.
: Wait a minute, what are you doing? Phineas
: Homework. Candace
: It's summer. Phineas
: That's cool. You wait till the last minute then.
: [talking on her phone about England
] Man, Stacey. Everything here is so old, wet, and small.
: [seeing all the androids working
] They're my brothers and they're robots... they're brobots!
: [to Phineas
] There's a cute boy next and I don't want you guys scaring him off by acting like complete freaks. Charles
: Beg pardon.
[walking up behind her
: Hello, hehehehe. Charles
: I'm Charles Pipping III. Candace
: I'm Candace Flynn I. Charles
: So what's all this? Candace
: This? Uh, this is uh... Phineas
: [juggling with Ferb
] We're putting on a Medieval tournament.
] As the fair princess, I declare Sir Charles the winner of the- Wait a minute. Could this be one of those things that backfires horribly on me?
: 80's music is so 2002.
: I know I've done this nineteen other times, but this time I can say with the utmost confidence that there are Phineas and Ferb robots in our back yard!
[throws open the gate
: Yes, Candace. There are Phineas and Ferb robots in our back yard.
[they see Phineas and Ferb, dancing the "Phinadroids and Ferbots" dance
: [seeing the cows down the hill
] A stampede downtown? I mean who does this? Those two are so gonna get it.
[before rolling down the hill
: Grrr! Mom
] Candace, are you ok? Candace
: [super annoyed
] I soo don't want to talk about it.
: [taking a picture
] Smile boys... ooh, you look so cute. Phineas
: [as he and Ferb ride ponies
] She means well. Mom
: I'll be back in a few hours. Have fun!
: [to her brothers
] Yeah right. You better not pull any of your weird stunts Got it? Phineas
: Don't fret none, school marm.
: [on the phone, running with the cows
] Oh my gosh! Stacey, I'm like in a stampede!
: [on the phone
] Mom, they's driving a herd of cattle right through down town. Mom
: Well um, I'm a little busy, sweetie. I'm having my hair done at Bab's. Candace
: Oh yeah, that's perfect! Oh they're coming your way. Quick, look out the window! Do you see any cows? Mom
: [just sees a milk truck with a picture of cows
] That's cute, candace.
: [while falling down the cliff
] Cactus, ahh... snakes, ugh... scorpians, ooh ahh!
: [as the computer scans the kids one by one
] I'd like my cartoon character to have the power to be everywhere at once. I'd be called Multi-Man! And Ferb would have a utility belt, and use lots of crazy gadgets! He'd be called um, Ferb Guy! Candace
: Well, I would have super mind-control and use telepathy and telekinesis to keep you super-dweebs under control with your lame-o superpowers. Phineas
: We could call you Control Freak!
: [as the arrive in the backyard
] Well, I'm here. Where is this giant animation studio? Candace
: It got up and it danced away. Mom
: It what? Candace
: It got up AND it "danced" away. Mom
: [very skeptical
] It got up and danced away? Candace
] See? It even sound crazy when YOU say it... I'll be in my room.
: Well, maybe I should go feel the love.
[puts her head through the curtains and gets hit by tomatoes
: Love feels a lot like tomatoes.
: [on her cell phone
] Mom, Mom! Mom
: [voicemail recording
] Hi, this is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys after the beep. Candace
: Ahhh! Mom, come home quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a super-fiend. I'm roasting them with laser vision, and... Hey! What do you mean "psychotic rant"?
: [all dressed in black, upset
] Mom! This is a total disaster. Mom
: [walking into the living room
] What, what? Candace
: The dry cleaners switched my clothes with some goth chick! I look like a total freak, like I'm all outsidery! Phineas
: I wonder what happened to Candace's clothes?
: Whoa. Candace, are you going Goth now? Candace
: Uh, uh, I'm not wearing this. I mean, I'm wearing it in that it's actually on my body right now, but I'm not attached to it. Not to say that I'm attached to my other clothes. I mean, I can actually take them off. No, no, no. But, I mean... I didn't want to put these... I want to put clothes on, but I... It was a mix-up, Okay? The dry cleaners and a... a jackalope lawn mower, and...
: Do you like it?
: [the kids arrive in Tokyo
] Kon'nichiwa! Suteishi no tomodachidesu!
[Japanese for "Hello! We are friends of Stacy!"
] Bachan Hirano
: Hey everybody! Phineas and Ferb are here!
[a man hits a gong and many girls run out of Bachan's restaurant
: [music begins
] Wow, Stacy sure has a lot of cousins! Stacy's Cousins
: [the art style changes to resemble Anime and Stacy's cousins start singing and dancing in a "Caramelldansen" style
] Welcome to Tokyo / Being glad that you are here / We can visit ten delightful / Us welcome to Tokyo Phineas
: [dancing with Stacy's cousins and everyone else in the same manner
] Hey, do you guys have any vegetable oil we can use? We need to refuel. Stacy's cousin
: Oh, sure. Bachan owns a tempura restaurant.
[briefly in normal art style, Bachan is seen dancing next to a metal barrel of Tempura
] Stacy's Cousins
: As for a list of exotic amusements / We choice between the summer there / Is here we look at baseball / Like the fact that it does
[during the song, the girls proceed to fill up the kids' rocket with vegetable oil while dancing
] Stacy's Cousins
: As some people the fact / That volleyball is done and is enjoyed / When it's hot we spin in water / Like the fact that it goes Phineas
: [normal art style
] Thanks a lot! We'll say hi to Stacy for you!
[they take off, still making the dance motions with their hands
: Man, Tokyo's a fun town! Candace
: [also making the motions
] I have no idea what just happened.
: Basically, if you're in charge, you won't need to call at all. You see, if the boys are doing something bust-worthy, that means you're not doing your job, and you would be in trouble, too. Candace
: Whoa, heavy. So if I bust my brothers, I bust myself? Dad
: Ah, there's the rub... right next to the pair o' ducks! I'm also packing this book of puns.
: [on a street in Paris
] "Pardonaise-moi, madam." French girl
: Oui? Candace
: [Candace pulls out a French-English dictionary
] Une moment. Uh, can you tell me... Oh, "Pouvaise-vous me dire" uh... French girl
: Can I tell you directions? It's okay, I speak English. Candace
: Yes. I speak English. Parlais anglais. Uh, ou est la Hotel Poubelle? French girl
: It's around the corner. Candace
: Ugh, around the corner, around the corner, "oh quan de la rou-ee?" French girl
: Oui. Candace
: Ugh, never mind. I'll find it myself.
[continues walking and comes to the street corner
: Hey, the Hotel Poubelle! It's just around the corner!
: Jeremy, you're back early! Jeremy
: I missed my girlfriend. Candace
: Oooh! I like the sound of that! Jeremy
: Besides, you forgot something in France. Candace
: I did? What? Jeremy
[Jeremy kisses Candace
[Candace is balking at riding a giant rubber-band-powered paper airplane
: Actually, Phineas, I-I changed my mind. I wanna stay here. Phineas
: Oh, that's just the mortal terror talking.
: Wait, Buford never took my bike. Buford
: Noted. Phineas
: There's one right there. Candace
: Phineas, I'm not gonna get on a silly little tricycle. Phineas
: Candace, we're in a hurry, just get on the tricycle... Candace
: There is no way I... Phineas
] Get on the trike!
[a frightened Candace does as she is told
: [during the chariot race
] Reckless endangerment, disrupting traffic! Oooh, they are so busted!
: [after Candace pulls out in front
] Candace has the lead. Go Candace! Candace
: [desperately holding on
] Somebody help me! Phineas
: See, I knew she'd love it.
: [looking around the museum
] I can't believe you dragged me all the way over here for this. Well, at least there's hunky guys in skirts.
: Each chariot will be pulled by a rocking horse Ferb souped up with a lawn-mower engine. Candace
: [walking into the backyard
] Phineas, just what do you think you're doing? Phineas
: Candace, great! You're right on time. Check out this cool looking helmet we made for you and we built you your own chariot that looks just like you. Candace
: [makes a face indentical to the chariot's
] Oh, that is ridiculous; I do not have wheels!
: [as the crowd cheer Phineas and Ferb
] Oh no! No, no, no, no! You can't just tear up the town with your chariots and expect to get away with it!
: Just wait until mom and dad find out about this! Phineas
: Candace, looks like we own you a big thanks for defeating the minitor. Who knew you had the power to turn men to stone. Candace
: That is so not true. Who has ever heard of something as silly as turning someone to stone!
: I'm double booked! If you count Stacy, I'm triple booked! Oh, darn my endlessly giving nature!
: Don't you have a catch phrase to say or something?
: Don't hold back. Candace
: I don't think I can.
: Hey, Candace, what're you up to today? Candace
: Well, I'll probably try to bust you guys, AGAIN. And fail, AGAIN. And add another link on my summer-long chain of disappointment and regrets. Phineas
: How about that, Ferb? Candace already knows what she's gonna do today.
[between a chorus of Canaces singing "I gave up!"
: That's right. I never even suited up, folks. I threw the baby out WITH the bathwater. I FORGOT the Alamo. I'm not even going for the bronze.
: [seeing so many people auditioning
] I can't do this. Stacy
: Oh yes you can. You're not a quitter, you're a fighter. Candace
: I am? Stacy
: Sure you are. You're a lean, mean singing machine.
[Candace punches her handbag
: That's it! Yeah, now you're looking like a winner.
[Candace looks aggressive and breathes heavily; Jeremy walks up
: Hey, Candace. Candace
: [fixing herself
] And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away its food.
: [after being chased my Candace wrapped up as a mummy, all excited
] Wow! I didn't expect him to be so scary. I mean can you imagine the angry, twisted soul hidden under those bandages? Candace
: [growling as the mummy
] Phineas! Phineas
] Makes me shutter. But you know what? We came down here looking for a mummy and I'm not leaving without one. Let's get him! Phineas
: [after escaping booby-traps and capturing the mummy
] Hey Ferb! We got our mummy! Now how are we gonna get it home?
: [after bouncing around in the a/c duct, coming back out, and still chased by the giant gum-ball globe
] Oh, give me a break!
: That's it. I'm calling dad.
: [after the globe breaks, she eats a piece
] Bubble gum? Oh, really old stale bubble gum!
] Candace, why are you covered in mud? Ferb
: Because she's a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, clutch-burning, backfiring, paint-trading, red-lining, overheating-throttle-stumping, truck-driving girl. Candace
: And I learned how to parallel park! Mom
: What about the curse? Buford
: Bad beards forever dude! Baljeet
: You don't even have a chin.
: [answering the phone
] Dispair speaking. Stacy
: Care to explain why "dispair" isn't picking up her cell phone this morning? Candace
: Because of a little thing called parallel parking!
Cooking School Chef
: Eh-hem! Madam Flynn. I have told you a hundred times.
[smashing the cell phone with a cleaver
] Cooking School Chef
: No phone calls in class!
[than his phone rings
] Cooking School Chef
: Hello? It is for you!
[hands to phone to Mrs. Flynn
: Hello? Candace
: Mom, I think the boys are building a monster truck! Mom
: Um honey, I gotta go. No, big chef. Big meat tenderizer in front of mommy. Bye, bye.
: [driving up hill
] Phineas, this incline is getting kind of steep! Phineas
: Don't worry, Candace. It get's steeper!
: The first lesson for a lady-in-training is about posture. Honestly, I'm not quite sure why this is but, from birth, all proper ladies are warned that they must stand and sit completely vertically straight, and even the tiniest bend or deviation on one's spine will lead directly to a life of horror and destitution. Candace
: Makes sense.
: [with books atop her head
] I don't get it. What... Do polite people not have bookshelves in your country?
: I can't say I've seen better posture. Candace
: Would you care to stack books on my head? Jeremy
: No, I'm cool.
: Now, if you two will excuse me, I have some brothers to bust. Jeremy
: There's my girl.
: Oh, I'm thinkin' some very unlady-like things right now. Jeremy
: That's our girl!
: So, what do you think? Stacy
: What am I suppose to be looking at? Candace
: [modeling her outfit
] Duh! It's a new red shirt!
: Phineas and Ferb are up to something. I better call mom. Stacy
: Candace, the photos. Eyes on the prize.
: [about their jobs
] Candace, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. What are all these buttons for? Candace
: It's hotdogs! How hard can it be?
[shoving fries at her
: Here, fry something. I'm gonna go etgae the onphae. Stacy
: You know I don't speak Spanish.
: This is weird. My mom is here. Stacey
: I Think your brothers are too, across the street. Candace
] What are they up to?
: Stacy, we gotta get mom up here to see what the boys are doing. Keep throwing food out the window!
: Super... heroes... in... duh... our... kitchen!
: You guys wanna read my fan-fiction? Spider-Man
: Sorry, but we're not allowed to read unsolicited material.
: [coming down the stairs
] Alright, boys and girls, listen up, I'm in charge, so that means no shenanigans! Hey, Spider-Man. Duh-duh-duh-daaay? Spider-Man
: Yo, heroes, got a little somethin' for ya! Spider-Man
: *Some*body's been using their spider sense. Candace
: I learned from the best, Spidey!
: [entering the haunted house
] Uh hello? Phineas, Ferb? You two are in big trouble.
[hears something and turns about
: Okay you guys. Stop fooling around. You guys better come out now. I'm getting really mad!
: [to Mom, gesturing to the where the haunted house was
] See, absolute terror! These little creeps have destroyed our backyard and leaving this ugly mess in it's place.
: [after the coaster dumbs her off
] Phineas, when mom see's you that built a haunted house is the back yard with werewolves and vampires and a giant, floating baby! What's that even about?
[as the baby-head nudges her
: Not now! And there was a giant jack-in-the-box with a suit of armor that nearly took my head off! And you-you-you just drive me crazy! When I tell mom what you're doing, you are going down! Down, down, down!
: Phineas! The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard is over my my dead body! Phineas
] That's the idea. Blah! Candace
: [charing back into the house
] That's it, you little psycho. I'm calling mom.
[pokes her head back out
: And I am not using the banana this time! Phineas
: [kind of dumb-founded
] You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me.
[Phineas and Ferb have made Candace a replacement cell phone
: Thank you! You do realize I'm still gonna have to bust you for making me go to Timbuktu? Cell Phone
: Timbuktu located. Candace
: Oh, no! Is that your new cell phone? Candace
: It used to be. Wait a second. You guys are good with wires and gadgets and stuff. Can you fix it? Phineas
: Well, it took almost forty years to perfect the technology that makes the modern cell phone possible, so give us thirty-eight minutes.
: [now that Candace has her new cell Phineas-Ferb-designed cell phone
] Are you sure you don't want to watch the tutorial? Candace
: I'm a teenage girl. Nobody has to teach me how to use a cell phone.
: Come on, Stace. Follow me.
[Right then, they pass before a shop called "Ell No."
: Toddlers are easy! They eat, they poop, they sleep. End of story.
: Okay, you two, I'm in charge and I'm gonna lay down some rules! Phineas
: Okay. Shoot. Candace
: No leaving the yard, no amusement park rides, no robots, no rocket ships. Phineas
: [as Candace continues
] Ferb, are you getting all of this?
[Ferb holds up a pocket tape-recorder
: [after Mom and all the Fireside girls turn into crying toddlers
] Okay, I get it. Lesson learned: Toddlers aren't easy. The irony is not lost on me! Little help here. Candace
: [looking into the camera
] This had better wear off before the next episode.
: There's a scoop here and I can smell it - or they haven't invented deodorant soap yet. But there's still a scoop.
: Just wait till Mom hears about... Then again, you guys always seem to make everything disappear before Mom gets home. But if I take the evidence to her at the Bowl-o-Rama, then she'll have to believe me!
[Candace fantasizes about her certain victory
: Oh, Candace, you were right about Phineas and Ferb this whole time. We should've believed you. Dad
: And just to express how sorry we are, here's my credit card. You have my permission to ruin us financially. Jeremy
: Candace, that is so cool how you busted your brothers like that! Will you marry me?
[back to reality
: So you wanna give it a try? Candace
: [still fantasizing
] I do, Jeremy...
[snaps back to reality
: I mean, uh... I'd love to give it a try.
: [viewing the trafic-cam video
] Can it be? Actual proof? Everything they've done over the summer!
: Candace, are you ok? Your muffled emotions woke us up. Candace
: Oh, just a little summer mini-series called evidence! Phineas
: [looking at the laptop
] Oh cool! Our moon elevator. Mom would love this!
: Candace, the disc? Candace
: What and let you fall? You may be a pain, but you are my brother.
: What's that? Baljeet
: It is ALL of Candace's anxieties. Phineas
: There are so... MANY of them. Ferb
: She has a rich internal life.
: You can't come in here! Buford
: It's a free country. Candace
: No, it's not! It's my head and you're getting crumbs all over...
: Here we are, Candace, the Forest of Memory. Candace
: How will we find Jeremy's gift? Phineas
: Well, we shouldn't have to walk too far since it's a recent memory. What's the last thing you remember? Candace
: Hmm, the last thing I remember is saying, "How will we find Jeremy's gift?" Phineas
: Well, we shouldn't have to walk too far since it's a recent memory. What's the last thing you remember? Candace
: D'oh, I forgot it already.
: [holding up a rabbit
] Do you know what this is? Phineas
: Uh, is it not a rabbit? Candace
: This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments. Ferb
: [seeing the rabbit in a purple tutu
] So why is he wearing a tutu? Candace
: He likes it!
: [pulling Perry away from the rabbit
] Get away from him! I don't want your blandness to rub off.
: I'm sorry we had to clean up everything destroyed and had to rebuild it. I'm especially sorry I made us miss our spa appointment. But most of all, I'm sorry for being a bad friend. I was just trying to impress Jeremy and I lost sight of... Stacy
: Okay, you can stop that right now. You're starting to sound like one of those TV shows we like to make fun of. Candace
: But Stacy, I... Stacy
: Look, the way I see it, you prevented me from going to the spa, almost killed me with a jackhammer, dropped a wall on me, I've got gypsum in my hair, and basically wasted my whole day. But you did it for love, so it's okay. Candace
: Really? Stacy
: Yeah, remember that time in the third grade? Candace
: You mean when you glued that hamster to my hair just to impress Billy Clark? Stacy
: Yeah, it's just like that. Candace
: [both sigh
] Billy Clark.
: [as Constance, to the boys
] Will you hold it down. I am trying to use the quill!
: [as Constance, going to down to the lab
] What is going on down there? I will go straight to the angry mob and tell on you.
[throws open the lab door
: Ah ha! Phineas
: [as Dr. Phineastein
] Oh hi, Constance. We're gonna enter the best monster contest. Candace
: How are you going to enter the monster contest? You don't even have a monster.
: [as Constance
] I'm telling mob!
: Hey, don't you know it's rude to sneak up on someone who is trying to spy on you?
[Candace must decide what Phineas and Ferb are going to build today
: A Mom Attractor! Phineas
: Cool. You mean, like, a big tractor mother with all its little baby tractors?
: I've got a perfect view of them from where I'm sitting. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! I'm all up in their grill and they don't have a clue!
: [on phone to Stacy
] Jeremy and I aren't really engaged, but we're totally engaged to be engaged to be engaged. And, by the way, that's on a need-to-know basis. Now, why would Jeremy need to know?
: [under the effect of the Dull-and-Boring-inator
] Hey, I know what we're gonna to today. We're gonna watch golf on television! Candace
: WHAT? Okay, we gotta jump-start these guys.
: Now, when I snap my fingers, you will awaken with no recollection of being hypnotized. Do you understand, Candace? Candace
: No. Stacy
: No? What's not to understand? Candace
: A brief recap might be helpful.
: I've got a date with destiny, and it ain't gonna end with a kiss.
: Why are you going to the moon? Kind of a step backward, considering you've already been to Mars. Phineas
: Do you remember that old nursery rhyme, "The Cat and the Fiddle?" Candace
] Vaguely. Phineas
: Apparently, there was a last verse that was lost to history until Ferb and I found it in the Dead Sea. It's a little wet and salty but I'll read it. "Hey, diddle diddle / The cat and the fiddle / The cow jumped over the moon / Due to the moon's low gravity / The moon-jumping cow's milk produced the best-tasting ice cream ever." That last verse didn't rhyme so they left it out of most versions.
: Phineas and Ferb, what's going on out here? Phineas
: Hi, Candace. We brought you some moon cow ice cream. Candace
: I don't care if you brought me ice cream from the moon, when Mom sees this spaceship in the yard, you two will be so busted.
: [in Perry's body
] Am I sweating milk? Being a platypus is so gross!
: How did you get so big? And why is my hand green?
[Candace looks into a mirror and screams
: I'm an ugly, smelly platypus!
: Does that banana have international coverage?
: I'll admit, I have never really studied the platypus, but I am absolutely shocked that this one somehow followed you all the way to Africa. It seems impossible. Ferb
: Well, ever since George Shaw wrote the first description of the platypus for highly skeptical European scientists in 1798, this unique creature has become synonymous with the word 'impossible'. Phineas
: You know, Ferb's right. Isabella
] Yeah. Candace
: Really? You're all satisfied with that answer? Lawrence
: Alright, well, we're turning in. Buford
: Yeah, me too. Phineas
: Good night. Candace
: Seriously, a platypus crosses the Atlantic Ocean, finds you on the vast continent of Africa, and no one feels this is worthy of a longer discussion? Phineas
: It's been a long day, Candace. Go to sleep. Buford
: Yeah, it'll probably all make sense in the morning. Candace
: Really? That's it? Nobody's with me here?
: Hello, Candice. Are Phineas and Ferb here? Candace
[Candace closes the door on Irving, he knocks, Candace opens the door
: Yes? Irving
: Can I see them? Candace
: Probably not from there.
[Candace closes the door again, Irving knocks, Candace opens the door
: I would like to visit with my friends, Phineas and Ferb. Could I please come in? Candace
: Well, why didn't you say so?
: So tell me exactly how you plan to catch this crocodile. Phineas
: Simple. We'll use the Croco-locator. See that blip straight ahead of us? That's Crikey. Candace
: What's that other dot? Phineas
: Oh, well, apparently there's buried treasure down here. Eh, maybe some other day.
: A picnic in the dangerous, unauthorized and highly bust-worthy biosphere? Sounds great.
: The thing I really like about you is...
[the desert suddenly becomes a rain forest
: Oh! Jeremy
: Wow, this is incredible! Candace
: Um, uh, what was that you were saying? Jeremy
: I said "This is incredible." Candace
: No, before that. Jeremy
: I said..."Wow."
[Candace groans in frustration
: [after getting hit numerous times
] Isabella! I have feet too, you know. Isabella
: [turning the wheel
] Sorry, Candace!
: I feel like a kebab. Baljeet
: I too fell a certain element of kebabism.
: It's Phineas's birthday and I still don't know what to get him. What do you get for the boy who can make everything?
: Wait a minute. Is that...? It is! A left-handed flange tuner! I've been looking for one of those forever! Candace
: You've been... Huh? Phineas
: They're impossible to find. Custom-made for Danville Sewage Repair, but they have a thousand uses. I love it! It's just what I've been wanting.
[Candace asked Stacy what shade of pink swimsuit she should wear
: Hmm, that's tough. On one hand, if you go with the a-chromatic pink, it kind of says, "Hi, I'm Candace, and I'm bedraggled and pallid." Trust me, you don't want that; I've been both. But, if you go with the more saturated pink, it kind of gives you that overkill, out-to-kill, "my currency is urgency" look. Candace
: I don't want that. I've been all three. Stacy
: Let your subconscious do the deciding. Go with the one you touched first. Candace
: Of course! Stacy, you're a fashion phenom! Stacy
: [holding two different hats
] Which hat should I go with? Candace
: I don't think it matters. Stacy
: Yeah, you're right, I fuss too much.
: [about Nicolette
] She's like catnip for boys. She's boynip!
: What is all this? Fake snow. Fake house. And who are all these people? Isabella
: Extras. Extra
: Not me. I've got a speaking part, but it's just this line, so it's pretty much over now.
: It's Christmas, Candace. Candace
: It's the middle of summer. Phineas
: Well, no sense waiting till the last minute.
: It feels so good to know I'm always right.
: That was the last ship! Buford
: Yeah, we're toast. Phineas
: Well, if we had to go out, at least it was for something we believe in. Baljeet
: My only regret is that I spent so much time on the wrong side. Buford
: My only regret is that I ate that hoagie. Phineas
: I guess if I have a regret, it's that I never got reunited with my sister. She left Tatooine when I was just a baby. Candace
] Phineas? Phineas
: Candace? Candace
: Oh, I can't believe it! Phineas
[he and Ferb hug Candace
: You got so big! I didn't even recognize you... Hey, wait a minute. Why is this guy hugging us? Phineas
: Oh, this is Ferb. He's our step-brother. Candace
: Mom remarried? What happened to Dad? Phineas
: Funny story, actually. He...
[the Death Star blows up, seemingly with the gang inside it. But next picture shows a flying spaceship, and it turns out to be Isabella catching them in the last second
: Wow, that was close. Thanks for coming back to get us, Isabella. Isabella
: Well, that's what friends are for.
: Okay, there is a madness to my method.
: Everything Phineas and Ferb build disappears when they're finished, so if I can keep them from finishing the thing they're building, it will never disappear! I call it "busy bee busting" - "B, B. busting" for shot. Stacy
: You know what? I'll see you la-la-later.
: Totally get the crush thing. But I don't get the Phineas thing. I mean, you do realize that his head's a triangle? Isabella
] Yeah... It's so acute...
: Okay, what are you doing and what does it have to do with my brothers? Milly
: Um, uh, it's something of a delicate matter. Isabella
: Romeo is all go. Candace
: Delicate? Isabella
: Well, you might not know, but I have a little bit of a crush on Phineas. Ginger
: "Little" being subjective. Isabella
] Stand down, Fireside Girl.
: Then I'll always be his Cou de Crayon. Ferb
: You do realize that's French for pencil neck?
: [fantasizing about being a supermodel
] Hi, I'm Candace. I'm sure you recognize me from my countless magazine covers. You know, being a supermodel is hard work: the bright lights, the deafening applause, and all those paper cuts from counting my huge stacks of money. That's why I start every morning with Candace-O's. Announcer
: Candace-O's, part of this nutritious breakfast. Stacy
: [shaking Candace
] Candace! Candace
: [snapping out of it
] What? Stacy
: Candace-O's? Candace
: Ugh. I shouldn't fantasize on an empty stomach.
: Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a Halloween Special!
: Aren't you a little young to be hunting ghosts? Phineas
: [in unison
] Yes! Yes, we are!
[Phineas leaves Candace under a hair restoration machine with instructions to stay under it for thirty minutes at setting 5, but Jeremy will arrive in ten minutes
: Stacy, crank this thing up. If it takes a half hour on 5, it should do the trick in ten seconds on 20.
: [at the meatloaf festival
] Eww! What've you got all over you? Candace
: A late entry.
: Phineas! I thought you were stampeded! Phineas
: We were! But it didn't hurt. They were big, but they were still fluffy. Ferb
: It's like being run over by cotton candy, but less sticky.
: A Ducky Momo first edition green pupil variant with a left-handed pull cord! Heavenly light! Angel chorus! I must have it!
: [phoning Mom during the blackout
] I can't see what Phineas and Ferb are making, but I'm sure it's bustable. Mom
] Well, it'll have to wait. Traffic lights are out all over the city. Of course, you know I'd like nothing better than to give up my special time with your father to run home and not see what they may or may not have done. Dad
: I can't remember. Were you always this sarcastic?
[a touching musical montage is revealed to be sung by Stacy
: Uh, Stace, you're kind of bumming me out with the song there.
: Now, Candace your brothers have issued a gold-based currency which has seriously devalued the Euro. What do you do? Candace
: I do nothing!
] Oh, Per-ryyy! Candace
: [not so sweetly
] Come here, you little meat-brick.
: I am the queen of Skiddley Whiffers! Who is the queen? I am the queen!
: You guys are gonna be soo busted when I show mom what you did to those kiddie rides!
: [talking about steamrollers
] People and their silly trends. Hey, mom, can I get a pink streak in my hair? Mom
: Why would you want to do that? Candace
: To express my individuality! Everybody's doing it.
: So, did you all have fun at the Bee Day Festival's Opening Ceremony? Dad
: It was bee-wildering. Phineas
: Bee-utiful. Dad
: Bee-dazzling. Phineas
: Bee-yond. Dad
: Bee-guiling. Candace
: [trying to read a magazine
] Ugh! Just bee quiet! Linda Flynn-Fletcher
: Oh, Candace, bee-have.
: I'm living in Crazytown. And Phineas and Ferb are town council.
[cell phone rings
: [mind-voice to herself
] Oo! It's Jeremy! Candace
: [snippy actual voice
] I know who it is.
: Candace, you need to lighten up a little, take it easy. Do you know what I do to relax? Candace
: You eat some pie and then lay down in that old sensory deprivation tank we keep in the basement. Mom
: That's right. Would you like to try it? Candace
: Um, I'm gonna go with no, but thank you.
: [Seeing her split personality
] Mom! Phineas and Ferb made me! Linda Flynn-Fletcher
: Uh, I've got some stretch marks that would say otherwise.
: I just need to broaden my anxieties. Stacy
: Yeah, I guess if you're gonna have an unhealthy mind frame, it might as well benefit me.
[Candace looks at a row of books on a table
: Boring, dull, stupid, lame, heavy-handed and derivitive. Mom
: Oh, thank you for those insightful reviews of books... you haven't read. Candace
: Mom, that's why books have covers - to judge them. I mean, why did you choose these books from the library? Candace
: They looked interesting. Candace
] So... Mom
: Point taken.
: Candace! Where are you? What are you doing?
[Candace has several phones with her
: Waiting for Jeremy to call! You see, last night, at the movies, he said was going to call soon. So I calculated that "soon" must mean first thing in the morning since "soon" can't refer to a period in excess of or equal to 24 hours, give or take a 59 minute cushion of time, on either side of the event in question.
[holds up a notepad displaying her math
: See? I had it all figured out right here on this notepad. I even showed my math! Mom
: Uh... Candace
: Wait! Maybe I should have carried the one instead of dividing by Jeremy's face. Mom
: Well, I'm off to my favorite author's book signing. Try not to freak out on your brothers while I'm gone. Candace
: Mom! I don't frea... Oh my gosh! The square root of "soon" is "never"!
: The ocean would be a lot deeper without all those sponges.
: [speaking into Irving's camera
] Hey y'all out there in Internetland, watch closely 'cause I'm gonna bust Phineas and Ferb! Irving
] She never busts them. And Internetland is not a real place.
: Name? Candace
: It's me. Buford
: Me who? Candace
: I'm Candace. Candace Flynn. Buford
: You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday. Candace
: This restaurant didn't EXIST yesterday!
: I got two word for you, Mom, GELA-TIN! I am sick of it! Sick of it! Totally sick of it! Jeremy
: Hey, Candace. I heard you were having a dessert party, so I made you this out of gelatin.
[shows her a gelatin form of Candace's name
: Nah, still sick of it.
Toy Store Owner
: Candace, come on out. Candace
: [in a bulky, ridiculous promotional costume
] You're kidding, right? Toy Store Owner
: Fantastic. You look like number one. Candace
: I feel like number two.