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: Clark, could you not pick your nose in front of me? Clark
: I'm not picking, I'm scratching. Gus
: Scratching what? Your brain? Clark
: Yeah, 'cause it's huge.
: [where someone has recently farted
] Oh! I love beef stew!
: He just did that steroid free! Clark
: What's steroids? Richie
: Something that makes your 'pee-pee' smaller. Clark
: Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni!
: I think this is a sign that you should get a car. Clark
: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year.
[extends arms forward and then retracts
: She wants to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.
: Is bad ass one or two words?
: Shut up, Number 7! Number 7 Robot
: You shut up! Clark
: I'll kill you!
: I'm gonna call the cops! Clark
: We are cops!... We're navy seals! Kyle
: Navy seals aren't cops! Troy
: Aren't you our paperboy? Clark
: ...I'm undercover
: Time to meet your makers! Clark
: Makers of what? POOP?
: Hold on I got a text from my mom... NO WAY we're having maccroni tonight that means garlic bread! Yes!
: Have you even known the joys of having children? Richie
: Never had a date. Clark
: Never talked to a girl.
: [after Gus hits a homerun
] Wow and he did it without steroids. Clark
: What's steroids? Richie
: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller. Clark
: There must be steroids in macaroni!
: Clark, we don't play baseball. Clark
: I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don't show up, that makes me a liar... and that's not what I'm about... Not now, NOT EVER! Richie
: Okay, Okay Daytime Emmy
: [to Nelson
] Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier? Mel
: Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies. Nelson
: I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily. Clark
: When I was your age, Fairy Jerry dumped a bucket of dog poop on me. Nelson
: His son just did that to me last week.
[looking at Mel's Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
: This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider. Mel
: It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this.
[Mel activates the car with his watch
: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T. Richie
: [to Mel
] Who are you? Mel
: Oh, I'm just one of those nerds who grew up... to make billions.
: That nerd makes me look like Rambo. Richie
: No. Clark
: John Stamos? Richie
: [a ball hits Richie in the head
] Duuuuhhhr! Richie
: You just lost your membership at video world! Clark
: Dang it!
: We could still win this thing. Richie
: Wha-how? Clark
: If we use the force. Richie
: Let's try not to be too geeky, Clark. Clark
: The Force is powerful, my young padawan. Howie
: He's right. It is.
: Man! I haven't even been on a baseball field in over 10 years. Clark
: I've never been on a baseball field, if I did, the kids in my neighborhood would spit loogies on my forehead. Gus
: Thats horrible, baseball's America's past time... thats like saying you've never had apple pie. Gus
: You've never had apple pie? Clark
: My mom said it would give me diarrhea. Gus
: That's ridiculous, Clark! You have to try it at least once! Clark
: Diarrhea? Gus
: No! Baseball!
[hands out a bottle of urine
: Okay, buddy. Clark
: Is that apple juice? Richie
: Clark! You kissed a girl before I did? Clark
: This is way better than macaroni!
: Bring it! Clark
: Suck it!
] Clark! Try to hit the ball in the strike zone. Clark
: Well where's the strike zone?
[he gets a bit distracted during the pitch
: Strike two! Gus
: Right there.
: [looking at baseball cards
] We've got statistics! I got 30 homeruns! Richie
: I got 11 foul ticks! Clark
: I got 20 eyes-closed strike outs, 5 broken windshields, and 6 dead birds! I'm freakin' awesome!
: Richie, do you have any kids? Richie
: Never had a date. Mel
: Clark? Clark
: Never spoke to a girl. Mel
: Gu-Gus? Gus
: Ugh, My wife and I are kinda working on it.
: So I heard from Jerry you tools think you're athletes now? Richie
: That's funny, I didn't know athlete had three syllables, A-tha-lete? That's ama-za-zing. Brad
: You think you're hot shit 'cos you know words. Clark
: Hey Brad, why don't you be a stud and point us towards the register, or... Register... er...!...