Andy Bellefleur
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Quotes for
Andy Bellefleur (Character)
from "True Blood" (2008)

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"True Blood: Nothing But the Blood (#2.1)" (2009)
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [to Tara and Sookie as the continue screaming] Will you shut up? I can't think!

Sookie Stackhouse: [frantic, to Andy about the body] Check for a pulse.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Forget it. There ain't no pulse.
Sam Merlotte: What? Why?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [lifting the tarp from the body] Because there ain't no heart!

Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Andy, over here.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [walking] Body's in full rigor mortis, Bud. Which is consistent with the victim being killed else where and brought here to the scene sometime in the past four hours.

Detective Andy Bellefleur: [to Bud, angry] I am not overworked!

Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Okay, you're done for the night.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: I know what I'm doing. I got it under control.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: You're material witness to a homicide and at worse, you could be a suspect.

Detective Andy Bellefleur: [sort of drunk, to Bud] I'm a good cop. I can close a case.

Sheriff Bud Dearborne: You're overworked, Andy. And you're drunk.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: I am not. Overworked.

"True Blood: New World in My View (#2.10)" (2009)
Detective Andy Bellefleur: People thought I was crazy, 'cause I thought I saw a pig!

Sam Merlotte: I got no idea how we're gonna deal with a god-damned maenad.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: A mae-what?
Sam Merlotte: Wait. You don't remember any of what I told you last night? Or were you passed out, spent the whole fuckin' day in bed, sleepin' off your bender?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: You said uh... Maryann was to blame for all this, the black bug eyes and the craziness.
Sam Merlotte: And the people showin' up dead with their hearts cut out, in the back seat of your car.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: She did that?
Sam Merlotte: Yeah. She killed Daphne too.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Fuck me... We got another serial killer.
Sam Merlotte: Andy, listen to me. I don't know how to stop her. Maryann isn't human. She is a maenad. She is a supernatural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: What's she want you for?
Sam Merlotte: I think she wants to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch. All for Dionysus or Satan or some god that has horns that she wants to awaken.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [indignant] People thought I was crazy because I thought I saw a pig!
Sam Merlotte: Well you did see a pig and you were right. That pig is a part of all this. That pig was... was doin' some of Maryann's dirty work for her.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well if what you say is true, we need to kill that bitch!
Sam Merlotte: She don't die. Remember?

Detective Andy Bellefleur: [inside the freezer] We are fucked!
Sam Merlotte: We're still alive.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: For now! What we gonna do? We gonna have to kill them all.
Sam Merlotte: Well even if we could, those are our friends and neighbors.
Sam Merlotte: And cousins!
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Right. We can't kill 'em.

Detective Andy Bellefleur: [inside the freezer] Aren't you glad I didn't take you advice and quit drinkin'?
[passing him the bottle]
Detective Andy Bellefleur: It's gonna save out lives.
Sam Merlotte: If I had left this town when I wanted to, nobody'd be in this situation.
Sam Merlotte: Don't beat yourself up Sam. You've been real good to this town, even if you are sometimes a nudist.

"True Blood: Frenzy (#2.11)" (2009)
Jason Stackhouse: [as they clean up Merlotte's] Seriously, you can become any animal, any time?
Sam Merlotte: Yes as long as I imprint on them.
Jason Stackhouse: That is fuckin' cool man.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Yeah well as cool as that may be, we still got a maenad we gotta deal with before it takes our whole town out.
Sam Merlotte: Listen, you can't deal with it. Alright? Your best bet's to leave while you still can.
Jason Stackhouse: Shouldn't was at least get the law involved?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [offended] I am involved!
Jason Stackhouse: There's Sheriff Dearborne, Kenya, the other guy... the squirrely one.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Sheriff's station was wide open and empty. It ain't gonna help.
Jason Stackhouse: Then "we" are the law. Guys, I read a book about this. This is armageddon. This is the oral history of the zombie war... we need weapons. Lots of them.
Sam Merlotte: Listen, I hate to break it to you but guns aren't going to do jack-shit to Maryann and you can't shoot anybody else. These are our friends. This is our town.
Jason Stackhouse: Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution.

Jason Stackhouse: Why ain't you never liked me, Andy? Was it because of how much pussy I get?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: No.
Jason Stackhouse: 'Cause I ain't never taken any pussy away from you. There is more than enough pussy to go around.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: It ain't about pussy! I just think you've had everything to easy.
Jason Stackhouse: What have I ever had that was easy?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: You were all-state quarter back.
Jason Stackhouse: You think that was easy? I'm startin' to have knee issues and I ain't even thirty yet. What else?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well yeah, women do just throw themselves at you. You don't even have to do anything.
Jason Stackhouse: Yeah well, actually I do. I work out like a mother-fucker and I watch a lotta porn to learn stuff. What else?... My best friend killed my grandma and my girlfriend. I come from no money. My momma and daddy died when I was eleven.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: So did mine!
Jason Stackhouse: Your daddy died in Vietnam, but your momma ran off with some yankee race car driver. You may hate me, Andy Bellefleur. You may think you're better than me and maybe you are. But you and me are the ones who have received the callin' to save this town! So obviously God wants us to bury the hatchet.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [understanding] It's all up to us, aint' it?
Jason Stackhouse: It is and we can't fuck it up.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [certain] We won't fuck it up.
Jason Stackhouse: This town might be full of crazy rednecks and dumb-asses, but they're still Americans.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: That used to mean something.
Jason Stackhouse: It still does!

Jason Stackhouse: You think Sam could turn into a chicken and lay his own egg? Wouldn't that be weird, eating something just came out of you?
Andy Bellefleur: What kind of a perverted brain would even think of something like that?

"True Blood: I Don't Wanna Know (#1.10)" (2008)
Andy Bellefleur: [to Sam] What's your story, Merlotte? Who's your people?

Andy Bellefleur: Sam... where the hell did you come from?
Sam Merlotte: I come from exactly the same place everybody else comes from, Andy.

"True Blood: Timebomb (#2.8)" (2009)
Detective Andy Bellefleur: A bull. In a dress. With claws.

Detective Andy Bellefleur: I tried to fight 'em off, but...
[pauses and lifts his broken left arm in a cast]
Detective Andy Bellefleur: ... war wound.

"True Blood: Cold Ground (#1.6)" (2008)
Andy Bellefleur: [about vampires] They sleep, just not at night.

Andy Bellefleur: Psycho sonuvabitch, goin' after a old lady that way, just about the sickest thing I ever seen.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Nah. I've seen worse. There was a murder about 6 years ago, lady snapped, blew her husband's head off while he was watching the game. Big chunks of brain all over the TV.
Andy Bellefleur: Why'd she do it?
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: I guess she wanted to watch something else. How they hell would I know, Andy? People don't murder 'cuz they're right in the head!

"True Blood: Bad Blood (#3.1)" (2010)
Detective Andy Bellefleur: We are going to get through this so long as we act like everything is perfectly normal.
Jason Stackhouse: I ain't even sure what normal is anymore.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well for you, normal is goin' out and gettin' tail. So I suggest you start there.
Jason Stackhouse: No, that was the old Jason. I wanna be new Jason.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well, when this thing blows over you can go out and not get laid all you want to. But for now, you gotta be the Jason Stackhouse everybody knows. So conscience off, dick on. And everything's gonna be alright.

Terry Bellefleur: Hey, 'cuz... I know what you're going through. That first kill is gotta a way of making you feel that's all you are. But you've got to know that you are a man this is still capable of goodness and of heartbreaking generosity of spirit. And if you cling to that with every thing you've got, you gonna be alright. I promise.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [thinks for a minute and relaxes] Thank you for that.

"True Blood: Beautifully Broken (#3.2)" (2010)
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [after the press conference] Hey, what are you doing here, Stackhouse?
Jason Stackhouse: Wow. All these reporters... they here for you?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [sarcastically beat] No. It's 'cause of me winnin' the Miss America pageant. Thought I told you to lay low.
Jason Stackhouse: I need your help with something.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Ain't I done enough for you already?
Jason Stackhouse: Hey! I was trying to save your life!
Detective Andy Bellefleur: [hustling him away from the station] Now I'm tryin' to save yours.

Detective Andy Bellefleur: You're a good guy, Stackhouse. You got a lot of heart. You're prettier than most girls. If you just applied yourself right, you could accomplish almost anything.
Jason Stackhouse: You really think so?
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Why else would I be babysitting your drunk ass making sure you don't piss your entire future away?

"True Blood: To Love Is to Bury (#1.11)" (2008)
Andy Bellefleur: I'm surrounded by assholes and morons!

"True Blood: It Hurts Me Too (#3.3)" (2010)
Jason Stackhouse: [to Andy] Morning, boss. I'm ready for my first day.
Deputy Kevin Ellis: I guess this means you find my performance inadequate.
Andy Bellefleur: [glaring] I will if you don't get out there to the corner and cross them little kids to school.
Deputy Kenya Jones: What's going on, Andy? Why does Jason Stackhouse need a desk in the Sheriff's Department?
Andy Bellefleur: Nobody else is using it. What do you care? Why don't you run those folders in the conference room over to the courthouse? Please, Deputy Jones.

"True Blood: Keep This Party Going (#2.2)" (2009)
Maryann: Detective Bellefleur, you come dance with me.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: I don't dance.
Maryann: With me, you do. Come on, come on!

"True Blood: Burning House of Love (#1.7)" (2008)
Andy Bellefleur: [about their fishing] Bet you didn't do much fishin' in Iraq.
Terry Bellefleur: No fish in the sandbox.
Andy Bellefleur: No wonder they're so pissed off at us. We got channel cats and Shreveport poontang. I missed this. Gettin' up before dawn, like when we were kids, watch the sun comin' up.
[stops as they see a man running naked through the trees]
Andy Bellefleur: That was Sam Merlotte!
Terry Bellefleur: [sitting back] Yep. I done that before.

"True Blood: Hitting the Ground (#3.7)" (2010)
Jason Stackhouse: I'm just sweepin'.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Where's your broom?

"True Blood: You'll Be the Death of Me (#1.12)" (2008)
Rosie: Can I buy you a beer? Show my appreciation.
Andy Bellefluer: That's alright, Rosie. I was just doin' my job.

"True Blood: Everybody Wants to Rule the World (#5.9)" (2012)
Andy Bellefleur: We assaulted a prisoner today! Now, Joe Bob's a son of a bitch, but it is my job to protect son of a bitches, too, and vampyrs and shifters and werechickens and whatever the fuck else is out there!
Jason Stackhouse: World's going to hell in a hand bucket.

"True Blood: Sparks Fly Out (#1.5)" (2008)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: What the hell are you doing?
Andy Bellefleur: He offered.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: He's a suspect.
Andy Bellefleur: Maybe to you.

"True Blood: Strange Love (#1.1)" (2008)
Jason Stackhouse: I hooked up with Maudette last night. We had sex. That's all.
Andy Bellefleur: How would characterize the sex?
Jason Stackhouse: [hesitant] Uh... it was okay.

"True Blood: Beyond Here Lies Nothin' (#2.12)" (2009)
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Come by the station in the morning and I'll give you your badge back.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Really? I won't let you down, Bud. And I am never touching another drink again.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: This town's a hell of a mess and I'm man enough to know I can't shoulder it myself... You might have your faults, Andy, but at least you got pants on.

"True Blood: Authority Always Wins (#5.2)" (2012)
Andy Bellefleur: Jesus, Stackhouse. Have you slept with every woman in this town?
Jason Stackhouse: I don't know, close, I guess.

"True Blood: I Found You (#7.2)" (2014)
Sookie Stackhouse: I hate to be morbid but you think she's got any fingerprints left?
Jason Stackhouse: It's not necessary. Sometimes not being clever makes you a good detective.
[Takes the girl's wallet, hands a card to Andy]
Andy Bellefleur: This is a Starbucks card.

"True Blood: Hard-Hearted Hannah (#2.6)" (2009)
Andy Bellefleur: I've been noticin' some strange things about you lately.
Lafayette Reynolds: Like?
Andy Bellefleur: Like the fact you just up and vanished for over two weeks. Like the fact now that you are back, you seemed to have lost some of your pizazz.
Lafayette Reynolds: [almost laughing] My pizazz?
Andy Bellefleur: Right. In case you didn't hear, Lafayette. A woman's dead!

"True Blood: She's Not There (#4.1)" (2011)
Andy Bellefleur: [angry at Sookie, for disappearing] For thirteen months, I've had that open case on my books! If it weren't for you, this year's Louisiana Safe Streets plaque would be on my wall!