Mike Traceur
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Quotes for
Mike Traceur (Character)
from "Knight Rider" (2008)

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"Knight Rider: Knight Rider (#1.0)" (2008)
K.I.T.T.: Why did you leave Sarah Graiman?
Mike Traceur: Oh, we are not talking about this.
K.I.T.T.: Sarah said you were immature and selfish, and that is why you left her.
Mike Traceur: She said that?
K.I.T.T.: Do you have another girlfriend? Are you a homosexual?
Mike Traceur: Oh, come on. Did you really just ask me that?
K.I.T.T.: Is it not natural that you should have a companion or some sort?
Mike Traceur: Monogamy is not natural.
K.I.T.T.: Why do you say that?
Mike Traceur: Because relationships don't last.
K.I.T.T.: It is true in the last 20 years 53% of the marriages in the United States ended in divorce.
Mike Traceur: You happy?
K.I.T.T.: I cannot be happy.
Mike Traceur: Yeah, me neither.

K.I.T.T.: I am incapable of happiness. But I will say that it is logical that you are here.
Mike Traceur: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Mike Traceur: Michael? Will I ever see you again?
Michael Knight: I hope so.

Mike Traceur: K.I.T.T, shut up

K.I.T.T.: You would not be pleased if I dropped food on you.
Sarah: [Mike is being rude to K.I.T.T] Do unto others.
K.I.T.T.: [pulls up the verse she is referring to on the computer] From the book of Matthew - Chapter 7; Verse 12.
Mike Traceur: This is intolerable.
Mike Traceur: [KITT does a 180, tossing everyone around in the car] Sorry, I'll pick up the chip!

Mike Traceur: K.I.T.T., you try something like that again, I'll put sugar in your gas tank.
K.I.T.T.: Don't even think about it, Mike.

K.I.T.T.: I require fuel.
Mike Traceur: You run on gas. Not hydrogen or plutonium or something really cool I've never heard of?
Sarah: Yeah. And what if you're in Nebraska and your hydrogen fuel system breaks down? Complicated isn't always better.
Mike Traceur: Why you gotta hate on Nebraska?
K.I.T.T.: My system is largely solar powered and recycles 91% of its expended energy, allowing a ratio of 167 miles traveled for every gallon of fuel burned.
Mike Traceur: So the super car runs on gas.

Mike Traceur: Well, together again.
K.I.T.T.: I am incapable of happiness, but I will say it seems logical that you are here.
Mike Traceur: Yeah, I know what you mean. Mind if I drive?
K.I.T.T.: Is this going to become a habit?
Mike Traceur: Definitely.

Mike Traceur: He was my friend.
K.I.T.T.: I am still learning about the complexities of friendship, but I would be honored to count you as mine.
Mike Traceur: Every cowboy needs a sidekick.
K.I.T.T.: I would not sell yourself short Michael. You are much more than a horse
Mike Traceur: Hey, sense of humor. That's new.

"Knight Rider: Fly by Knight (#1.15)" (2009)
Mike Traceur: Do bad guys ever sleep?
K.I.T.T.: No. But neither do I.

Sarah Graiman: KITT wake you up again?
Mike Traceur: Yeah, and while we're on the subject, I think we need to have a little chat about boundaries.
K.I.T.T.: We are approaching the latitude and longitude of the plane's last known GPS location.
Mike Traceur: Don't try and change the subject.
[KITT skids to a stop, Michael hits his head on the dashboard]
Mike Traceur: Ah! Ow.
K.I.T.T.: That would be changing the subject, Michael.

Mike Traceur: Why would someone fake a plane crash?
K.I.T.T.: Isn't that why we get paid to figure out?
Mike Traceur: You get paid?

K.I.T.T.: Agent Renning is calling out an APB on us.
Mike Traceur: Then we better go incognito. Shall we go old school?
K.I.T.T.: To use the lingo of the time, I can dig it.

Billy Morgan: Mike, did I just hear KITT smacking your around?
Mike Traceur: KITT and I are communicating. That's what partners do.
Billy Morgan: No, it just sounded like KITT was making you his bitch.

"Knight Rider: Knight and the City (#1.16)" (2009)
[after have turbo boosted sideways onto an overpass, KITT screams]
Mike Traceur: KITT, you scream like a girl.

Mike Traceur: KITT, you scream like a girl!

"Knight Rider: A Hard Day's Knight (#1.4)" (2008)
K.I.T.T.: It is essential to your survival that you calm yourself and complete this task.
Mike Traceur: I'm trying.
K.I.T.T.: Do or do not. There is no try.
Mike Traceur: You're quoting movie lines *now*?

Mike Traceur: Don't talk to me, criminal.

"Knight Rider: Knight of the Hunter (#1.5)" (2008)
Cassandra Banks: My name's Cassandra Banks. MI-6. We've been tracking Cooperton for a year.
Mike Traceur: MI-6? What, like licensed to kill, double-0 status? In her Majesty's Secret Service - that MI-6? What am I supposed to call you, Jane Bond?
Cassandra Banks: Sure, if I can call you G.I. Jackass.

"Knight Rider: Fight Knight (#1.14)" (2009)
K.I.T.T.: Well, you know what Sgt. Burber says, "The pain is temporary, but the pride is forever."
Mike Traceur: You'd make a good drill sergeant, KITT.
K.I.T.T.: Thank you. Now drop and give me 20, Private Knight, you worthless bag of...
Mike Traceur: KITT!

"Knight Rider: Knight of the Zodiac (#1.8)" (2008)
Mike Traceur: [to Billy] You know what they say about Vegas."Come on vacation, leave on probation."

"Knight Rider: Exit Light, Enter Knight (#1.13)" (2009)
Mike Traceur: [awakes suddenly] Man, I was out cold.
K.I.T.T.: Actually, Michael, you were not out cold. You were in a very heavy REM state.
Mike Traceur: You know, you sometimes sound like Hal from 2001?
K.I.T.T.: I find that movie extremely confusing.
Mike Traceur: You know what confuses me?
K.I.T.T.: There are not enough hours in the day to list all the things that confuse you.
Mike Traceur: Oh, snap.
K.I.T.T.: Yes, Michael. Snap.