Rick Ford
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Quotes for
Rick Ford (Character)
from Spy (2015)

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Spy (2015)
[last lines]
Susan Cooper: [wakes up next to Ford] Aaaaah!
Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it!
[hugs her]
Susan Cooper: Ugh, God.

Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Well I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.

Rick Ford: You're going to ruin this mission.
Susan Cooper: No, *you're* going to ruin this mission.
Rick Ford: No, you are.
Susan Cooper: No, you're going to!
Rick Ford: You... times infinity!

Rick Ford: Nothing kills me. I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.

Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?
Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?

Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.
Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...
Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.
Susan Cooper: In black-face? That's not appropriate.
Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.
Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

Rick Ford: Oh, fuck my ass!

Rick Ford: Cooper, is this a fucking LAKE?

Rick Ford: I told you to send me in there instead of Fine, and you didn't. And now Fine's *dead*. I'm going the fuck in.
Elaine Crocker: You can't. We need someone to follow De Luca without being detected... And that will hopefully take us to Rayna, but it can't be any of you.
Rick Ford: Here's what we do... I go into the Face/Off machine, get a whole new face. I turn up, they never know it's me.
Elaine Crocker: Do you have quarters? Because it costs 50 cents.
Rick Ford: What, I gotta pay?
Elaine Crocker: *No*, because it doesn't exist
Rick Ford: Yes, it does! I heard Cress and Wright talking about it in the shitter.
[Points to Cress and Wright as they look down, hiding there laughter]
Elaine Crocker: I'm sure they were pulling your leg.
Rick Ford: You pair of fucking vaginas!
[Cress and Wright burst out laughing]
Elaine Crocker: Seriously? You've got to cut that out.

Susan Cooper: Get your hands off my boobs!
Rick Ford: I'm saving you!
Susan Cooper: You motherfucker, I'm gonna report you to HR!

[Wakes up, sees Ford sleeping next to her and screams]
Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it.
Susan Cooper: Oh God!

Rick Ford: [holding onto Susan's legs, the two of them dangling from the landing skid of DeLuca's helicopter] I can't get a grip. Your pants are too slippery! You should've worn coarser pants!
Susan Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't wear my fucking sandpaper pants!