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] Susan Cooper
: [wakes up next to Ford
] Aaaaah! Rick Ford
: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it!
] Susan Cooper
: Ugh, God.
: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife! Susan Cooper
: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here! Rick Ford
: Well I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.
: You're going to ruin this mission. Susan Cooper
: No, *you're* going to ruin this mission. Rick Ford
: No, you are. Susan Cooper
: No, you're going to! Rick Ford
: You... times infinity!
: Nothing kills me. I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.
: Where'd you get a suit? Rick Ford
: I fucking made it, didn't I?
: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm. Susan Cooper
: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically... Rick Ford
: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama. Susan Cooper
: In black-face? That's not appropriate. Rick Ford
: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire. Susan Cooper
: Jesus, you're intense.
: Oh, fuck my ass!
: Cooper, is this a fucking LAKE?
: I told you to send me in there instead of Fine, and you didn't. And now Fine's *dead*. I'm going the fuck in. Elaine Crocker
: You can't. We need someone to follow De Luca without being detected... And that will hopefully take us to Rayna, but it can't be any of you. Rick Ford
: Here's what we do... I go into the Face/Off machine, get a whole new face. I turn up, they never know it's me. Elaine Crocker
: Do you have quarters? Because it costs 50 cents. Rick Ford
: What, I gotta pay? Elaine Crocker
: *No*, because it doesn't exist Rick Ford
: Yes, it does! I heard Cress and Wright talking about it in the shitter.
[Points to Cress and Wright as they look down, hiding there laughter
] Elaine Crocker
: I'm sure they were pulling your leg. Rick Ford
: You pair of fucking vaginas!
[Cress and Wright burst out laughing
] Elaine Crocker
: Seriously? You've got to cut that out.
: Get your hands off my boobs! Rick Ford
: I'm saving you! Susan Cooper
: You motherfucker, I'm gonna report you to HR!
[Wakes up, sees Ford sleeping next to her and screams
] Rick Ford
: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it. Susan Cooper
: Oh God!
: [holding onto Susan's legs, the two of them dangling from the landing skid of DeLuca's helicopter
] I can't get a grip. Your pants are too slippery! You should've worn coarser pants! Susan Cooper
: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't wear my fucking sandpaper pants!