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Quotes for
Dad at Health Clinic (Character)
from The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

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The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)
Boy at Health Clinic: Wait, so you're a virgin? I'd tap that.
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, yeah, you'd 'tap that.' What, Seth, you think you're cool with your little Jew Fro? We don't say 'tap that.' What are you talking about, Seth?
Andy Stitzer: You know what? I'm a virgin too.
Dad at Health Clinic: We're virgins too.
[laughing]
Boy at Health Clinic: Yeah.
[high five's dad]
Andy Stitzer: No, you know what? It's a personal choice and I don't think it's weird at all.
Dad at Health Clinic: You know what your problem is? You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

Boy at Health Clinic: [discussing alternative sex practices at a health clinic] I prefer vaginal intercourse.
Dad at Health Clinic: [pats his son proudly on the back] He really does.

Dad at Health Clinic: Here's a cute story.
[Talking about his son]
Dad at Health Clinic: I came home the other day... and he is with his girlfriend in my marital bed... doing things that are *illegal* in the state of Alabama. Sex acts, right? Things that my wife won't do, okay?
Health Clinic Counselor: Did you have a question?
Dad at Health Clinic: How do I get my wife to do those things?
Health Clinic Counselor: Does anyone else have a question?

Boy at Health Clinic: Hey, do you have any extra large condoms?
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, Seth, please! You have a tiny penis...

Health Clinic Counselor: Oral sex play...
Boy at Health Clinic: Sounds like my Friday night.
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, shut up Seth, we went to temple.