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: You just won 365 more days in your Ikea-furnished closet. Vanessa Abrams
: You went to my building? You talked to my landlord? Blair Waldorf
: No, I don't speak Ukrainian, but I do speak envelope of cash and he understood me perfectly.
: Blair Waldorf is not indebted to anyone. No matter how much I appreciate what you did. Vanessa Abrams
: You're welcome... I guess? Blair Waldorf
: Good. Now this transaction is finished. And I'm free to return to disliking you. Vanessa Abrams
: I wouldn't have it any other way. Blair Waldorf
: Oh, and, one more thing. If you didn't pay your rent with it, what did you do with Chuck's money? Vanessa Abrams
: I may have created a medical grant for teen with genital herpies... in his name.
: [after being bribed
] You're sick. Chuck Bass
: [taking videotape
] You're welcome.
: [Chuck grabs Blair's arm
] Hey let go of me Bass! Chuck Bass
: Drop your Archibald habit first. Blair Waldorf
: You know I already have. Chuck Bass
: Really? A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal, let's not waste time denying. Blair Waldorf
: You know what, I'm tired of this go ahead and tell him. Chuck Bass
: Really, you want me to tell him how you slept with me and faked your virginity for him. Blair Waldorf
: I'll just tell him your lying and who do you think he'll believe? You who bangs anything in his field of vision or me his pure and honest girlfriend of many years. Chuck Bass
: Oh now he'll believe me. Blair Waldorf
: Why? Chuck Bass
: I have proof.
[Vanessa had filmed them on camera
] Chuck Bass
: Good eye docu-girl I'll take the tape now. Blair Waldorf
: You knew she was watching? This is my house that tape belongs to me. Vanessa Abrams
: Actually this is my footage and thanks to both of you I think I got a new angle on my subject. Dan Humphrey
: [Dan walks up
] Hey Vanessa let's get out of here. Chuck Bass
: If you think I'm gonna let you walk out of here without that tape your crazy!
[he grabs Vanessa's arm agressively
] Vanessa Abrams
: Let go of me! Dan Humphrey
: Hey! Last time I checked I still owe you a black eye so unless this is you coming to claim it, stay away from her.
: I need to talk to you, your father's leaving. Nate Archibald
: He just stepped out to call my mom. Vanessa Abrams
: Everything okay? Chuck Bass
: No. Nate Archibald
: Yes. Chuck Bass
: He just asked to have his car brought around. Nate Archibald
: He probably left his phone in it. Chuck Bass
: Look before the ceremony I saw him with a guy doing a deal, it looked like drugs. Nate Archibald
: My father is clean Chuck and what are you spying on him? Chuck Bass
: Look, I know you hate me. I was in love with Blair and I'm sorry, we do not have time to argue about this.
: Looks like Nate isn't a fan of the fish, or his date. Vanessa Abrams
: Blair, I'm with Nate and you're at the singles table, deal with it. Blair Waldorf
: I just feel sorry for you is all. Dating an Archibald is a tortured process. The endless supply of family drama, the fact that he never really got over Serena. Though falling for someone in love with Serena, you already knows how that feels don't you?
: [into her cell phone
] Hey, Dan. Dan Humphrey
: [into his phone
] Are you okay? I didn't hear from you when you got in. Is Charlie there? Vanessa Abrams
: No, she isn't. I got caught up. I found your book. "Inside by Daniel Humphrey". It's incredible! Dan Humphrey
: You went through my stuff? Vanessa, you had no right to do that! Vanessa Abrams
: I know. I'm sorry. It was just lying there on your desk so I read it. This has got to be best satire about the Upper East Side since Bonfire of the Vanities. How long have you been working on this? Dan Humphrey
: Five years... off and on. Now, put it back where you found it and we can forget you ever found it. Vanessa Abrams
: I always thought Serena was the reason you fell into the Upper East Side. But after reading this... it was more then that. Dan Humphrey
: Vanessa, seriously... this is none of your business. Vanessa Abrams
: You always wanted in... maybe more then Jenny. Dan Humphrey
] Of course the irony of it is that if I now ever show it to anyone it will permanently guarantee my outsider status forever. Vanessa Abrams
: Dan, you know as well as I do that you are, and always will be, an outsider to that drama-filled, scandalous, upper class, snobbish high society life just like me. You can't be an insider and make great art. You have to stand alone to observe it and you must not care who's feelings you hurt or what people will think of you. Dan Humphrey
: Those people are my friends. My best friends, now. My family. Vanessa Abrams
: Those "people" were never your friends. They use people just like you describe in your book. It's not like they come across worse then you do. And there's a certain someone who might like how she's painted in your book and I'm not talking about Serena. Get it published. Take a stand. Be a great man instead of always being a good boy.
[Dan's phone beeps with a text message which reads "I found Charlie"
] Dan Humphrey
: Serena found Charlie. I need to go. Put the book back and get out of my room... and my life. Vanessa Abrams
: Dan, this is important! We need to talk about this. Don't just drop everything and run off to help them. Meet me at the loft or someplace tonight where we can talk. Dan Humphrey
: Good bye, Vanessa! Don't ever call, write, or visit me or my friends or family ever again! Vanessa Abrams
: When are you going to realize that you are a better person until the day you asked Serena out four years ago? Dan Humphrey
: When are you going to realize that I had better life until the day you climbed up my fire escape and interrupted me and Serena four years ago? Good bye, and good riddens!
[Dan hangs up. Vanessa, teeming with anger, takes his manuscript and exits the loft with it
Serena van der Woodsen
, Vanessa Abrams
: [to Dan
] We need to talk to you. Chuck Bass
: [to Dan
] I need to talk to you. Nate Archibald
: [to Chuck
] Hey, I need to talk to you. Eric van der Woodsen
: Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.
: That's easy for you to say, you didn't just pull a Janet Jackson at the Snowflake Ball.
: Oh. Hello, weird documentary girl. Vanessa Abrams
: Oh. Hello, sad Blair wannabe.
: I can make you help me, ya know. Blair Waldorf
: Oh makes jokes too.
] Vanessa Abrams
: Everyone knows you and Marcus broke up but no one knows why.
[shows picture on her phone of Marcus and Catherine kissing
] Blair Waldorf
: Even you wouldn't stoop that low. Vanessa Abrams
] Blackmail seems to work so well for you, so maybe I'm missing out.
: Blair, you got a minute? Blair Waldorf
: Sixty seconds - clock it.
: Humphrey! Where is your mind? Dan Humphrey
: [smiles sadly
] Well, I know it sounds crazy, but I actually... I kind of miss high school.
[Vanessa gives him an odd look
] Dan Humphrey
: I miss Blair Waldorf and her daily ego demolitions, Nelly Yuki stealing my lunch, even Chuck Bass who would get
[gesticulate with his hand two inches from his face
] Dan Humphrey
: SO close to talk.
: Wow, you miss Chuck Bass! Dan Humphrey
] Yeah, well, probably not as much as YOU miss Chuck Bass, but yeah. I think it's safe to say that the nostalgia has officially begun.
: What are you doing here? This is Serena's brother's birthday party. It's not okay for you to just show up here unannounced and uninvited since you are no longer welcome here. Vanessa Abrams
: All I want to do is apologize to you for the part I played in what happened with Serena. I had no idea that was Juliet's plan. You know me, Dan. I would never be okay with things going that far. Dan Humphrey
: That's what my sister said to me before she came clean. You, on the other hand, pointed the finger at her and left town. Your apology is NOT accepted! Vanessa Abrams
: Wow. I guess now I can never come back here. Not even with you. My mother was right. You really have become corrupted by this high society elite lifestyle. I'm leaving. Dan Humphrey
: Good! I'm not going to chase after you this time, Vanessa. Vanessa Abrams
: And I wouldn't stop for you if you did! Juliet said a lot of things but she was right about one of them. I'm an outsider around here, and always will be.
: So when am I going to get to see you again? Vanessa Abrams
: Depends. Can I depend on you not to cancel at the last second? Nate Archibald
: That will never happen again. Vanessa Abrams
: That's okay. Nate Archibald
: No, no. I'm serious. Like, I mean, everything with my family's been so crazy but... when you called today it was like I could breathe again. So I wanna do this. I wanna make this - us - right. Vanessa Abrams
] Okay. Tomorrow night? Nate Archibald
] Uh, tomorrow night I've got to take my mom to this school party. Vanessa Abrams
: Fine. Come to the gallery. You can bring me lunch. Nate Archibald
: Oh... well... Vanessa Abrams
: Well, it was a good speech. Nate Archibald
: No, no, no, no! I'm serious. I mean, I have family stuff. But I'll reschedule... And they'll just have to deal with it.
: Stop talking. Dan Humphrey
: You know I'm not good at that. Vanessa Abrams
: I think I can help.
: So you ratted on Blair? You Templeton!
: Hey, I'm thinking one pink can of gummy worms and another of Swedish fish. Dan Humphrey
: Is this how you and Nate want to celebrate two months of dating? With all things gummy?
: So this Blair girl used you as her slave? Jenny Humphrey
: No, I was her handmaiden. Vanessa Abrams
: Handmaiden is Jane Austen for slave.
: Dorota's gonna kill you if you get glue on that comforter. Serena van der Woodsen
: Sorry we've turned your room into an art studio B but the clock is ticking. Vanessa Abrams
: I'm done. Eric van der Woodsen
: Wow. Serena van der Woodsen
: Oh my gosh, wow that's amazing. Thank you so much Vanessa this is going to be incredible. Vanessa Abrams
: Good I'm glad I could help. I think he'll really love it. Blair Waldorf
: Vanessa, I think I'd like to help with this little project. Would you come and help me find another pair of scissors?
[Blair and Vanessa walk into the bathroom
] Blair Waldorf
: It's so nice what your doing for your friend Dan, helping his girlfriend make his Christmas present. Serena is so grateful because she likes to see the best in people, I like to see the truth. Vanessa Abrams
: Yeah? And what's that? Blair Waldorf
: I think you like Dan a little too much, just thought I should let you know someone's watching. Merry Christmas.
[Vanessa walks out of the bathroom
] Vanessa Abrams
: I'm taking off call me when you're done. Serena van der Woodsen
: Okay, where you going? Blair Waldorf
: I'm gonna go check on my daddy. Eric van der Woodsen
: I thought you were gonna help. Blair Waldorf
: I think my works done here.
: What did I tell you? I told you to do nothing! What was that too difficult? Vanessa Abrams
: I thought I would leave doing nothing to you. Blair Waldorf
: I was taking care of it! Vanessa Abrams
: How? By having a romantic lunch with your boyfriend? You know what I think? I think you were so scared if anyone finding out who your boyfriend was screwing, that you were willing to screw Nate. Catherine's husband promised that the Captain would be safe, it's over. Blair Waldorf
: You know what I think? I think I'd gotten Catherine to agree to pay off the Archibald debts and leave town in exchange for my silence. Nate was about to have his old life back until you went to the Duke. He put them on a plane to London an hour ago. So your right it is over for Nate thanks to you.
: Give her a break, Asher is her first love. Dan Humphrey
: It's infatuation, it's not love. Georgina Sparks
: Yeah, but to a 15-year-old girl I mean, there really isn't much of a difference.
: I didn't sign up for some creepy love triangle with you and someone's mom. Nate Archibald
: She's giving me money.