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: I'm not being bossy. It's the mother instinct.
: I've cured more hangovers than you could shake a stick at. David Slater
: Never shake a stick at a hangover.
: Believe it or not, I am a full-fledged architect. Build you anything from a cathedral to a bomb shelter. Patty O'Neill
: How much would a cathedral cost these days? A small one.
: [taking her to his apartment for the first time
] Now, you're sure you don't mind coming in? Patty O'Neill
: Quite sure. Donald Gresham
: No qualms? Patty O'Neill
: Not a qualm in the world. And I am not reflecting on your virility either. Donald Gresham
: Let's leave my virility out of this!
: I am so glad you don't mind. Donald Gresham
: Mind what? Patty O'Neill
: Oh, men are usually so bored with virgins. I am so glad you are not.
: Why are you so preoccupied with sex? Patty O'Neill
: Who, me? Donald Gresham
: Yes, you. Patty O'Neill
: You really think I am? Donald Gresham
: Well, you are always asking if people plan seduction or they're bored with virgins or they have a mistress... Now, if that isn't being preoccupied with sex, I'd like to know what is. Patty O'Neill
: You may be right.
] Patty O'Neill
: But don't you think it's better for a girl to be preoccupied with sex than occupied?
: Would you consider our friend to be a man of... principles? Patty O'Neill
: I certainly do. He is charming. David Slater
: Yes, but I am told that I am not entirely without charm, but I have no principles whatsoever.
: [about his ex-wife
] She divorced me. Extreme cruelty - I hit her with a muffin dish. Patty O'Neill
: You didn't! David Slater
: *Stainless steel* muffin dish. Still warm from popovers. Right across the behind. Raised a welt that lasted for *weeks* according to her lawyer. I was never privileged to see it.
: Oh, c'mon. You don't want to stay up here alone. David Slater
: Haven't the faintest intention of being alone. You decide to leave, I should probably call up a dame I know and ask her to come over. Patty O'Neill
: Don't say "dame", it's vulgar. At least say "girl" David Slater
: This girl *is* quite vulgar. In the sense that she is earthy and uninhibited. By common definition she is essentially a dame rather than a girl. She's a lot of fun. Patty O'Neill
: Then why don't you ask *her* to marry you? David Slater
: Because she'll lose all respect for me if I made such an idiotic suggestion.
: I just came back to ask you exactly what Cynthia meant when she called me a "professional virgin".
: If Cynthia came down now and cried over you a little and fussed over you right bit, I bet... Donald Gresham
: Let's not talk about Cynthia. Patty O'Neill
: Well, she called me a "professional virgin". That's what I came back to talk about. Not Cynthia, don't worry, only what she said. Donald Gresham
: It was a rather unfortunate phrase and I was mad... Patty O'Neill
: May I ask why does Cynthia object to virgins? Donald Gresham
: Look, nobody in their right mind could seriously object to being called a virgin. Patty O'Neill
: OK, but it's this "professional" that makes me mad. I'd like to have that explained. Donald Gresham
: It's not necessary to advertise it. That's really all the phrase means. Patty O'Neill
: What's wrong with advertising? Donald Gresham
] People who advertise are anxious to *sell* something!
: [on the observation deck at the top of the Empire State building
] Oh? What are you excited about? Patty O'Neill
: Coming up here. I wanted to for years. Donald Gresham
: Well then, why didn't you? Patty O'Neill
: Frankly, because I couldn't afford it. Can get a lovely pair of nylons for dollar twenty.
: [In the taxi, on the way to his apartment
] You won't mind coming up, will you? Patty O'Neill
: I am not so sure. Will you try to seduce me? Donald Gresham
: I, I don't know. Probably. why? Patty O'Neill
: Why? A girl wants to know. Donald Gresham
: A girl is supposed to be intuitive about those things. You don't go around bluntly asking questions like that. Patty O'Neill
: I do. I always do. Donald Gresham
: And what happens if they say yes, they are going to try to seduce you. Patty O'Neill
: I generally believe them. And then I am out one dinner. Donald Gresham
: And if they say their intentions are honorable? Patty O'Neill
: I generally believe that. But you get fooled some times. I hate men like that. I mean, after all, they are lots of girls who don't mind being seduced. Why pick on those who do? Donald Gresham
: OK, I won't make a single pass at you. Do you believe me? Patty O'Neill
: Yes. Yes, I do. You're nice. I like you. Donald Gresham
: I could be lying. Patty O'Neill
: That's true. Are you? Donald Gresham
: I don't know. I've never run up against anybody like you before. Patty O'Neill
: How nice! Donald Gresham
: But I won't take an oath that I am not going to kiss you. Patty O'Neill
: Oh, that's alright. Kissing's fine. I have no objection to that.
: Oh, I know! Let's not go out. Let's fix dinner up here. I am simply a sensational cook. Donald Gresham
: Well, unfortunately I haven't any sensational food. Patty O'Neill
: Oh, you must have something.
[opens the icebox
] Patty O'Neill
: I thought you surely must have some leftovers. You know, what I can do with leftovers is nobody's business! Do you like kadguree? Donald Gresham
: I beg your pardon? Patty O'Neill
: Kadguree. It's made with finnan haddie. Do you have any finnan haddie? Donald Gresham
: I wouldn't be found dead with finnan haddie. Patty O'Neill
: Aw, that's an awful thing to say. You haven't even tasted it. It's delicious.
: Don't you ever eat meals up here? Donald Gresham
: Nope. Patty O'Neill
: No wonder you are so unhappy and maladjusted. Donald Gresham
: I am not a bit unhappy and my adjustment is just dandy! Patty O'Neill
: Well, I think it's awful to let this darling kitchen go to waste. This lovely icebox and stove. And that garbage disposal with nobody to use it. I want to cry, honestly.
: I took my shoes off because my feet hurt. David Slater
: Oh, you should never say your feet hurt. Patty O'Neill
: Why not? They do. David Slater
: "My foot, singular, hurts" is an intriguing statement. "My feet, plural, hurt" is a rather sordid admission.
: You struck a woman? David Slater
: Why certainly. In fact I seldom strike anyone *but* a woman. Oh, I'm not the belligerent type. I'm also a coward. Donald Gresham
: Now don't be too modest. Occasionally you'll strike a small man. David Slater
: If he's defenseless, yes.
: Don't you find I have a certain weird charm? Patty O'Neill
: Yes, that's your whole trouble. You have entirely too much charm. Donald Gresham
: And it certainly *is* weird.
: He has reasons for suspicion. David Slater
: Take my advice and let them lurk. Patty O'Neill
: What? David Slater
: Suspicion, my child, suspicion. The lurking doubt. Is she or isn't she? Does she or doesn't she? Will she or won't she? Suspicion, the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world.