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Quotes for
Derrick Blank (Character)
from "Strangers with Candy" (1999)

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"Strangers with Candy: Ask Jerri (#3.7)" (2000)
[Referring to Jerri's colored friend, Sydney]
Sara Blank: Who's your cute young ethnic friend, Derrick?
Derrick Blank: Oh, she's with Jerri.
Sara Blank: [to Sydney] Get out!

Jerri Blank: Hey, don't you want to know happened at school today?
Sara Blank: All right. What happened in school today?
Jerri Blank: Mr. Noblet ...
Sara Blank: I was talking to Derrick. Derrick?
Derrick Blank: Well, I punched this loser in the head - he was coming out of study hall - I blindsided him. He never even saw it coming.
[Jerri giggles]
Sara Blank: That's very nice, Derrick. Okay Jerri, now why don't you make it quick?
Jerri Blank: Someone punched me in the head when I was coming out of study hall today. Blindsided me - never saw it coming!

Strangers with Candy (2005)
Sara Blank: How was school today, Derrick?
Derrick Blank: The coach made me co-captain of the junior varsity squat thrust team!
Jerri Blank: Way to go, faglick.
Sara Blank: Jerri, language!
Derrick Blank: I'll have you know, stump, that the varsity squat thrust team took third in all conference.
Jerri Blank: And how does that make you not gay?
Derrick Blank: What are you talking about, troll? We squat together, we spot each other on the workout mat, and we play grab-ass in the showers. How is that gay?

Jerri Blank: You're such a poo-hole, Derrick.
Derrick Blank: You're a fat goblin!
Sara Blank: Derrick...
Derrick Blank: Well, she is!
Sara Blank: I KNOW, Derrick. I have eyes.

"Strangers with Candy: Feather in the Storm (#1.8)" (1999)
Derrick Blank: Tell us another meat story Stew!
Stew: Okay, here's a good one. I was working at the buthcer shop the other day and this guy comes in and I say 'Hey! You thinking about buying some steaks?' And he says 'No! I'm going to buy somes steaks, I'm thinking about Poontang'.