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: [looking in a trick mirror
] This is exactly how I looked in high school! Six
: Really, I bet you had to beat the boys off. T'nuk
: Yeah, well, when they weren't beating themselves off.
: It's harmless fun, Chode, why don't you give it a try? Chode
: Forget it. Do I look like an idiot? T'nuk
: Is that a trick question?
: Chode, you can't be serious. You can't go through life being invisible. Chode
: Why not? Works for the homeless.
: What do you want? Six
: I want you to reverse the curse on Chode. Gypsy Rosaly
: And I want lips like Angelina Jolie and a vaginal rejuvination. Ain't gonna happen.
: More important than how we look, is how we think. Women also have brains. Whip
: But uncle Chode told me women don't need brains. 'Cause a brain can't suck your... Chode
: [Chode puts his hand in front of Whip's mouth
] Kids! Heheh.
: Did you hear a word I just said? Chode
: Of course I did, but we're talking about a million dollars here. So, break out the skin tight spandex, put on your best screw me pumps and paint your face up like the whore of Babylon 69. Cause, honey, you're entering this pageant and that's an order. Six
: Fine. But guess what you're not entering tonight?
[her bedroom door slides shut
: [Six is being accused of murder
] I didn't do it. Babette Bobo
: Look, all I know is we got a signed confession.
[holds up a note
: [grabs the note
] Yes, a signed confession... written in lipstick. I've had enough lipstick smeared on this hard body over the years to know the difference between 'Jungle Red', what this complete stranger is wearing, and 'Bozo Red', which is on the note, and on your lying lips!
: I got a job for ya... Six
: Chode, you're outta luck. My vagina's in the shop for it's maintenance checkup.
: [looking at a black and white village and a castle
] I have a bad feeling about this... Chode
: Yeah, black and white usually means the fucking producers ran outta money.
: Everyone grab a piece of princess to go, and follow me through this secret passage way. Six
: Where does it lead? Gus
: Oh let me guess, to a long forgotten laboratory where a scientist once reanimated the dead? Frau Schmit
: Wow, does someone got that women's intuition or what?
: [during a group hug
] Whip, get your hand off my ass. Whip
: Charity comes in all forms!
: [Six takes command of the ship
] Whip, rift-factor three. Gus
: High five! Whip
: Ah, Nobody high-fives anymore. T'nuk
: Chest thump?
: Do I look like a purple, phallic haired, no pants wearing lazy ass to you? Gus
: No. Six
: Then how could you confuse me with Chode?
: Captain, are you sure you don't mind me going? Chode
: Oh, no, of course not. Don't worry about me, I'll just turn in early with a glass of hot milk and the skankiest hard-core porn that I can find. I won't even, eh, know you're gone. Six
: Gee thanks, It's nice to be appreciated.
: Does this thing have a cloaking device? Six
: Chode lost it in a poker game.
: [to Ten
] We'll always have Paris. Chode
: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Who the hell is Paris? Is there some other jerk I gotta be worried about?
: Bob, is that you? Bob
: I detect surprise in your vocal patterns, Six. Perhaps I can explain. Master Sergio upgraded my virtual memory. T'nuk
: So from now on you're going to sound like someone shoved a dictionary up your ass? Bob
: Yes! My miserable existence with this selfish, pencil dicked loser is finally coming to an end! Chode
: Easy, Six, you don't have to over sell it.
: You sure you won't come with us? Six
: You know, we talked about it, but we feel it's much safer to remain on a ship that is about to self destruct.
: Good thing there's noone here to see my hot, sexy writhing naked body pressed against the walls of this long transparent cilinder. T'nuk
: It's too bad there isn't a camera trained on you so millions of Sci Fi geeks could get their kicks watching it.
: [Six sticks her arm in the ships' replacement exhaust
] Hey, how would you like it if someone poked around in your exhaust? Six
: Chode does it all the time.
: [Chode, impersonating Columbo, accuses Six of stealing his collection of Men's Magazines
] Are you kidding? I saw them as a welcome break. I was gonna buy you a lifetime subscription to 'Nuts, Butts & Sluts' for Christmas.
: Are you kidding? You're not gonna wear that, are ya? I have a reputation to uphold. Six
: It is a little revealing... Chode
: Not revealing enough! I wanna see more Victoria, less secret.
: I have to say, I'm disappointed. Chode
: Six! I though you'd be glad that I'm still here. Wouldn't you miss the time we spend, the laughs we share, the ideas we discuss and my purple pleasure plunger? Gus
: Oh! Six
: Of course, it's just that after all the beautiful notions, it's too bad that love doesn't really conquer all. Gus
: I don't know, seeing Darph and Adam with their wives, they looked pretty conquered.
: Whip, what are you doing? I told you to convert the transporter to accommodate a time continuum. Whip
: It's done-ski! It's all ready to go. Gus
: What? How did you manage to convert the system so quickly? That's a complicated procedure. Whip
: I downloaded bootleg software from the Internet.
: Damn, this mud is riding my thong underwear like sandpaper! Six
: That's why I always wear crotchless whenever I travel. Chode
: Can you two chatty catties get a move on? I know it's only my life in the balance!
: I think he'd like to think of himself as a man now. Chode
: A man? No, being a man takes years of fighting and screwing and drinking and whoring. And fighting a little more and then a lot more drinking and then more whoring if there's time.
: It's not over by a long shot. Chode's not just gonna stand by and let this happen to us. Gus
: Did some of the silicone in those breasts of yours go to your head? We walked out on Chode with not so much as a two week notice and the last image he has of us is T'Nuk's giant, hairy ass. T'nuk
: Hey, there are men who would'a gladly pay for a picture of that. Gus
: Weren't they all incarcerated or insane? T'nuk
: I told you that in confidence, Mr. Big Mouth.
: I wanna learn how to be a selfless lover. Six
: Huh? Chode
: You know, to do things in bed that... you like to do. Six
: Okay... Chode
: So, what do you wanna do? Six
: How about we talk about my feelings and cuddle? Chode
: I can do that... Does, eh, cuddling involve you taking it up the caboose? Six
: I suppose it's a step in the right direction.
: Chode, if you only had intercourse with this women in a 24 hour period, the chances of you being the father of her child are infinitetisimal. Chode
: Hmm. So, I'm pretty much the poppa, huh? Gus
: No, you idiot, Dinina probably has you mixed up with some other purple Varcity slob.
: We have to find out if she's who she says she is, and there's only one way to prove it. Six
: [Chode grabs Six's arm to lead her away
] Ah! Gus
: Oh, you're not actually going to have sex with her now, on a plane full of deadly snakes, and flying on fumes? Chode
: Relax, this shouldn't take long.
: Chode is gonna get killed. We gotta do something. Gus
: [filing his nails
] Six is right. T'nuk
: I'm coming up empty. Gus
: Me too.
: Bob, we've been over this before. We're just friends... Bob
: Yeah, well, friends don't let friends dry hump. Six
: That's 'drive drunk'.
: [seducing two Stormtroopers
] Well, if you ever get whore-leave, I'll be over here.
: I'm through taking orders from you. I'm going back to George. He treats me like a lady, not just some piece of ass. Chode
: Yeah, but... you're not just a piece of ass to me. A lot of the times, I'm thinking about your boobs, too.
: See, we just take this video game controller and... hotwire it to this! T'nuk
: So we'll be able to control the ship with a joystick? Six
: It's not so strange. I could always control Chode with his.
: [masaging the Governor
] You're awfully tense, Mr. Governor, you have knots all up and down your spine. Governor Smith N. Wesson
: Actually, that's shrapnel.