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Quotes for
CM Punk (Character)
from "NWA: Total Nonstop Action" (2002)

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"WWE Raw: Episode dated 10 October 2011" (2011)
CM Punk: Can I wear your blazer?
Triple H: You could even wear my blazer.
CM Punk: I'm in!

John Cena: And I'm staying because I love Raw! I don't care who's in charge! I am *staying* because I love the unsafe workplace. It is the chaos that makes us all tune in every week.
[the audience cheers]
John Cena: I am staying because the word "loyalty" on my sleeve is not a word, it is a principle. And my loyalty does not lie out in a parking lot, it does not lie behind a suit and tie, it lies in your living room, it lies with each and every one of you right here. Whether you love me or hate me, hell or high water, John Cena stays on Monday Night Raw!
[the audience cheers, and Cena and Triple H shake hands. Sheamus' music then hits]
Sheamus: What's the crack, Hunter? You know, less than two years ago, when you're giving a heartfelt speech about your best friend on the stage, I came and attacked you from behind and hit you in the skull with a lead pipe. See, the thing is, I was trying to make a name for myself by taking you out. And if anyone had any right to complain or take legal action, it'd be you. But you didn't do that, fella, did ya? Instead, you recovered, came back like a man, and I'm not ashamed to say, gave me the biggest asskicking of my entire life.
[the audience cheers]
Sheamus: Now, as you and me know, today that result would be very different. But the one thing is, fella, I'm not ashamed to say I have a lot of respect for you, for doin' that.
[the audience cheers again]
Sheamus: And the last couple of months, I've tried to adhere to the same set of principles that you showed. That's why tonight, I'm not gonna be backstage in some parking lot shenanigans. You see, I didn't travel thousands of miles, leave my family, my friends, everything behind me to come back and sit out there with all those losers. I came here to be part Monday Night Raw!
[the audience cheers; Sheamus and Triple H shake hands, and "Cult of Personality" hits]
CM Punk: I can't help but feel a little bit respon-, well, hell, who am I kidding? I feel like I started this whole thing. This is all my fault. I've been at the epicenter of anything controversial ever since you took over. Actually, since before that. I'm sure you remember, John boy.
John Cena: I was there.
CM Punk: You were there. I'm the guy that made walking out look cool. The-the thing about it is I think everybody in the parking lot having a picnic right now completely misunderstood what I was trying to do. See, I didn't break my contract, I didn't break my word. My contract expired, as I was trying to prove a point to an entire company, not just one man. If anybody has any reason to walk out of the WWE, well, you can probably put me at the top of that list. I mean, my microphone constantly cuts out. Your friend, Kevin Nash, runs through - well, slowly, briskly - runs through the crowd and jumps me and screws me, not once but twice. Somebody here doesn't want me to be the WWE Champion.
[the audience jeers]
CM Punk: The thing about it is this entire industry is based on men solving their problems in between these ropes. This is the company that gives you Hell in the Cell, this is the company that gives you the Elimination Chamber. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but unsafe working environment? I thrive on that! Hell, this is professional wrestling, this ain't ballet! If you believe in something, you stand and you fight. And if you fight on the front line, you don't have a hippie's sit-in and grill tofu dogs in the parking lot like a bunch of hippies. When I had a problem with you and your authority, I dealt with you personally. And you, you big Boy Scout, when I had a problem with you, being the poster boy for this company, I dealt with you personally. Sheam-o, I'm sure sooner or later you're gonna step on my toes. I'll deal with you personally. Now, I know you three smiley good guys look across the ring from me and I'm the last guy you expect to see here. And-and I know I'm the last guy you expect to see in the foxhole with you. But you know what? Here I am.
[the audience cheers]
CM Punk: So... so, I got a question. What do we do now?
Triple H: What do we do now? That's the big question, huh? What do we do now? I say we do what we do on Monday Night Raw. We shut up and fight!
[the audience cheers]
Triple H: How about this, as long as you guys are in agreement, Sheamus you've got yourself a match, fella. Tonight, right here, right now, you will go one on one with one John Cena.
[the audience cheers again]
Triple H: And, since I'm the only guy kinda wearing stripes out here, I'll referee. And, foxhole buddy, I got a whole table over there lined up with headphones and pipe bombs, just waiting for you with your name on it. And, if you want, you can go over there and say anything you feel like.
CM Punk: Wait, you want me to do commentary?
Triple H: I want you to do commentary.

C.M. Punk: You want me to do commentary?
Triple H: I want you to do commentary!
C.M. Punk: Can I wear your blazer?
Triple H: You can even wear my blazer!
C.M. Punk: I'm in!


ROH: Final Battle 2003 (2004) (V)
Chris Lovey: One thing about Samoa Joe is he wants to embarass the Briscoes in this feud because he feels as ROH World Champion it is embarrassing for him to lose and he lost to Mark Briscoe, he was pinned by Mark Briscoe and there you see Jay, that happened in Fairfield, Connecticut, that's what got Mark this title shot, of course, Samoa Joe has already defended the title against Jay Briscoe and that happened at Tradition Continues on October 16th, Joe thought he was gonna embarass Jay Briscoe in that match but Jay stood toe to toe with him, then, of course, Joe choked out Mark Briscoe after that match at Tradition Continues teaching Mark a lesson that it was 11/1, Main Event Spectacles, the set-up by the Briscoes and Cornette but it ended on a poor note, as far as Cornette and the Briscoes as Joe took out Cornette in the locker room. Cornette has not been seen since and that led into this tag match and what you're looking at, too, is Mark, at just 18 years old, could be a double champion, the first ever double champion in ROH history if he wins this match.
C.M. Punk: That was the longest run-on sentence I've ever heard in my entire life. Did you even take a breath in between words there?

C.M. Punk: Do you know what it's like going through life better than everybody? It's hard.


WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2009 (2008) (VG)
C.M. Punk: I don't drink and I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. My addiction is wrestling. With no toxins and no distractions, I've been able to make an impact with World Wrestling Entertainment. But I still want to go farther. I have a feeling it won't be an easy path. I welcome the bumps on my Road to WrestleMania.


The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown (2015) (V)
[from trailer]
Fred Flintstone: We can put on another one of those crazy matches, and Judge wants to come and see it.
Barney Rubble: I pay harder and clams to see that.
Fred Flintstone: The main event is gonna be a rematch between you, and CM Punkrock.
Barney Rubble: What?
CM Punkrock: I am the best in the prehistoric world!


"WWE Raw: 2011 Raw Roulette (#19.26)" (2011)
CM Punk: John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest. I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best - because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne. He's a pretty good ass-kisser. Always was and still is. Oops - I'm breaking the fourth wall.
[He waves at the camera]
CM Punk: I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since Day One when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split, just like I'm splittin', but the biggest difference between me and Brock is that I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship. I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me. And the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring and even on commentary. Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collectors' cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, I'm not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that "Dwayne" is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I'm not, makes me sick! Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now - you are just as big a part of me leaving as anyone else, because you're the ones sipping out of those collector cups right now, you're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face thinking you can get an autograph and sell it on eBay, because you're too lazy to get a real job. I'm leaving with the WWE championship on July 17 and hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor.
[Punk beckons again into the camera]
CM Punk: Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone you're still going to pour money into this company - I'm just a spoke on the wheel - the wheel's gonna keep turning. And I understand that Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical douche bag yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who's gonna tell him everything he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is, it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. You know we do this whole bully campaign-
[the microphone is turned off, Punk knocks a few times on top of it and then calls without micro]
CM Punk: I've been silenced!


WWE: OMG! - The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History (2011) (V)
Jerry Lawler: [laughing] I'll never forget when Snitsky punted the baby!
Booker T: Like it was a field goal or something? Come on, man!
Jerry Lawler: But what else could he do? It was fourth and long.
William Regal: Maybe it's just me being an old villain, but that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
CM Punk: [laughs] Snitsky saying "It's not my fault" and punting the baby. Uh, I think this is one of those things that wasn't designed to be as funny as it wound up being. The sight of him kicking a baby into the crowd like it was a football was... was pretty entertaining.
Jim Ross: It was kind of a nice spiral.