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Quotes for
Michael Cole (Character)
from "WWE Raw" (1993)

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WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2008 (2007) (VG)
Michael Cole: Ah, come on! How about a little sportsmanship for god's sake?
Michael Cole, JBL: If you hadn't noticed, this isn't exactly Queensbury rules. But we aren't in Queensbury, wherever that is.

JBL: A lot of people think Randy Orton's an overhyped pretty boy, but I respect his accomplishments.
Michael Cole: What? You mean turning on the people who supported him and stabbing them in the back?
JBL: No. I mean like being the youngest World Heavyweight champion, and having one of the longest Intercontinental title reigns.
Michael Cole: I'd have more respect for those achievements if Orton didn't earn them from underhanded tactics.
JBL: Well, I've got news for you. Orton doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks. And that's why he's at the top of his game right now.

JBL: Ric Flair is a terrible example to all the young superstars. The man built his career on cheating and stealing victories.
Michael Cole: Aw, come on. Don't tell me you didn't learn a trick or two from the Dirtiest Player in the Game?

JBL: You can show off for the crowd all you want, but all that does it let your opponent rest up.
Michael Cole: Actually, I think it's a great display of confidence on the part of this great superstar.

Michael Cole: Tell me something. Do you really consider Montel Vontavious Porter to be Smackdown's MVP?
JBL: Absolutely. We got a lot of talented superstars, but MVP is definitely at the top of the list.
Michael Cole: How can you say that? We got so many decorated veterans on the roster.
JBL: Well mainly for the fact that it bugs the heck out of you when I do.


WWE Armageddon (2005) (TV)
Michael Coulthard: If your Randy Orton what must be going through your mind?
Tazz: In my mind if I was Orton I'd be wondering what the hell am I doing standing in this cell looking at the man who may send me straight to hell!

Michael Coulthard: Randy Orton came to play in the devil's playground and Randy Orton LOST!

Michael Coulthard: [the Undertaker is on top of the Cell] Undertaker surveying his damage.
Tazz: And there is a lot of it Bob Orton Randy Orton referees.


WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2007 (2006) (VG)
Tazz: Man, you talk about an American icon. You talk about a real American hero. You just don't get any better than the man right here, Kurt Angle.
Michael Coulthard: Angle certainly represented his country well in the 1996 Olympic Games where he won his gold medal. But ever since then, I think his accomplishments have gone to his head.
Tazz: What? How can you say that, Cole? That's practically... That's more or less un-American. I hope the Department of Homeland Security ain't watching this.
Michael Coulthard: Oh, come on Tazz. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It seems the more Angle accomplishes, and he's accomplished a lot, the more of a jerk he becomes!
Tazz: I don't even want to have this conversation with you, Cole. If you can't respect an All-American hero like Kurt Angle, I can't respect you. Of course, you know, I kinda never respected you to begin with. But you know what, That's besides the point.

Michael Coulthard: I wonder how JBL's gonna try to cheat his way to victory here tonight, Tazz.
Tazz: You're out of line, Cole. And you probably don't wanna... slander a guy who has as much lawyers as JBL does.
Michael Coulthard: It's not slander if it's true, Tazz. And if JBL wants to make an issue of it, I'm sure I can come up with a lot of evidence to support what I said.


WrestleMania XXVIII (2012) (TV)
Michael Cole: A Good luck kiss from AJ to Daniel Bryan
[Bryan turns kissing AJ and gets kicked in the by Sheamus]
Michael Cole: A Brouge Kick by Sheamus.
Michael Cole: He did it Sheamus is the World Champion.

Jerry Lawler: Oh no.
Jim Ross: Sweet chin music Pedigree.
Michael Cole: Steaks OVER!


WWE '13 (2012) (VG)
Jerry Lawler: What's he going to do here?
Michael Cole: Oh my God I cant believe he just speared him through the barricade.

Michael Cole: The eyes of John Cena and The Undertaker tell the story.As good as Cena's fist are The Undertaker is unquestionably the best pure striker in the game.


WWE Hell in a Cell (2014) (TV)
Michael Cole: Oh my God! Both men through the tables! Both men through the tables! Both men through the tables!


WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2009 (2008) (VG)
Michael Cole: The Undertaker has never been defeated at WrestleMania. A pile of broken bones and shattered dreams lay in his wake. But on this Road to WrestleMania, who will be the one to...
The Undertaker: Rest in peace!


Fully Loaded (1999) (TV)
[interviewing Vince and Shane McMahon who are watching a footage on Sunday Night HEAT]
Michael Cole: Er Mr. McMahon, er excuse me but after seeing your expression on Sunday Night HEAT, I mean I have to believe that you were behind that attack on Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Shane McMahon: I wonder if you can accuse my father of something like that, I mean, who are you?
Michael Cole: Well I was just watching the footage and...
Vince McMahon: I have nothing to do with that, but... I can say, that I will guarantee.
[looks at Shane McMahon]
Vince McMahon: There goes that word again, I know that I promise, I guarantee you, okay, that Stone Cold Steve Austin will lose the WWF Championship here tonight, I GUARANTEE YOU. He will never, ever, EVER AGAIN be the WWF champion! Got it?


WWF Unforgiven (2000) (TV)
Michael Cole: [Michael Cole is interviewing the Rock] Well, Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin will leave here not getting what he wants, but the question is will Chris Benoit, The Undertaker and Kane get what they want, namely your WWF championship?
The Rock: Finally... The Rock has come back... To Philadelphia! Michael Cole, How can you stand there and ask The Rock a stupid question? How Do You Know what they want? How Do You Know what they want? Maybe Kane just wants a box of matches so he can go light his big red ass on fire, you ever think of that? Maybe Benoit, all he wants is a pet Wolverine so he can go ahead and lick its left testicle, Do you ever think about that? Or maybe The Undertaker, The American Badass, wants to jump his little motorcycle and ride around the First Union Centre a couple more times because it gives him that "funny" feeling? The fact of the matter is this; they want, they want! But if they think for one single, solitary second they're gonna take The Rock's WWF title off the people's waist, Then what they WANT and what they GET is entirely different! And the Rock says He's gonna take all three of their heads and shove them so far up their asses; they're gonna have to cut holes in their little nipples just to see! If You Smelllll... What The Rock... is cookin'!


"WWE Raw: Episode dated 14 February 2011" (2011)
The Rock: But there's one more man who The Rock wants to see. There's one more man who The Rock is gonna see. And that man
[the lights in the arena blink off and on twice; Michael Cole smugly stands up from the commentator table]
Michael Cole: [to the audience] Can I have your attention, please?
[the audience jeers]
Michael Cole: I have just received an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager.
The Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Michael Cole, if you take one more step towards that computer, The Rock will get out of here and slap the taste so far out of your mouth you'll never get it back!
[the audience pops]
The Rock: [Cole mouths something] Shut up! Michael Cole, you actually think that The Rock is just gonna let you walk over to that computer and interrupt him when he is *live* on Raw? Is that what you think? Do you actually think that any of us give a damn what your General Manager has to say?
[the audience pops and begins a "Rocky" chant]
The Rock: Michael Cole, is that what you think?
Michael Cole: I'll tell you what I think.
The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!
[the audience pops again]
The Rock: Now what you do, Michael Cole, is you sit your ass down at that announcer booth, take off your headset, and you don't say a word. And I quote, you know your damn role and shut your damn mouth!
[the audience pops again]
The Rock: Because if you don't, The Rock will have some pretty cool Facebook pictures to post on his Facebook tonight. Does anyone here want to contribute to The Rock's Facebook tonight?
[the audience pops]
The Rock: Really simple. Facebook.com/Dwayne Johnson, if Michael Cole doesn't do as The Rock says, you're gonna get a beautiful picture of The Rock stepping out of this ring... going over to that computer - some of you may know where I'm going with this - the picture you're gonna get is The Rock shining it up real nice, turning that sumbitch sideways and sticking it straight up Michael Cole's candy ass! Now sit down, you look like a drunk Hobbit. Sit your ass down.
[Cole dejectedly sits down]
The Rock: There is one man who The Rock is gonna see. There is one man who The Rock has to see face to face. A guy who I met, a guy who I thought was a cool guy. Wished him well, happy for his success. When The Rock leaves, he comes in and out of the blue, eventually, he starts talking trash about The Rock. I don't know why, and I don't care. But I'm back now. You might have heard of him, his name is John Cena.
[the audience pops again]
The Rock: So let me get this straight. The WWE has gone from the powerful "Austin 3:16" to the dominant and iconic "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?", all the way to...
[mocking Cena's hand wave]
The Rock: "You can't see me. You can't see me. You can't see me." What, are you playing peek-a-boo? "You can't see me, I can see you, you can't see me." Oh, believe me, we *all* can see you. We all can see you. A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in the basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass. How in the hell do you think we can miss? You come out here with your bright-ass purple shirt, and before that, your bright green shirt, before that your bright orange shirt, you run around here looking like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles!
[the audience pops loudly]


WrestleMania (2015) (TV)
Michael Cole: [the Miz, Damian Mizdow, and Big Show are left in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Miz starts planning strategy with Mizdow, but then suddenly Mizdow isn't going along with him. After a final tongue lashing by Miz, Mizdow grabs him and tosses him over the top rope and out of the ring] Look at this! Mizdow says 'I quit!' Mizdow says 'I quit!' 'Take this job and shove it!'


WrestleMania 22 (2006) (TV)
Michael Coulthard: [as Undertaker tombstones Mark Henry] This is over 400lbs.
Tazz: [while Undertaker rolls Henry in the coffin] Who says Mark Henry is the Worlds Strongest Man?


WrestleMania XXVI (2010) (TV)
Michael Cole: The Undertaker is 18-0 and Shawn Michaels carreer is over!


Royal Rumble (2000) (TV)
Michael Cole: So, Rock, do you have any worries about any participants in the Rumble tonight?
The Rock: One - Crash Holly, Two - Headbanger Mosh!


"WWE Smackdown!: Episode #7.7" (2005)
Palmer Canon: [Palmer Canon and Teddy Long are in Long's office] Remember those promos we were running over the summer on SmackDown! for The Boogeyman? It was a new show we were going to have on the network. "I'm the Boogeyman, and I'm coming to get you!"
Teddy Long: Well, I don't know, playa.
Palmer Canon: Well, the talent who was playing the part, something a little strange happened on the set. But, we've got a multi-year holding deal with this gentleman, and in my opinion, I think he'd be a great addition to our show, he'd be a great addition for SmackDown!
Teddy Long: Who are you talking about?
Palmer Canon: I'm talking about the Boogeyman.
[to someone off-camera]
Palmer Canon: The Boogeyman's here right now? Mr.Long, uh, meet the Boogeyman.
[Camera pans to the right to show the Boogeyman]
Michael Cole: [Off-camera] The hell?
Teddy Long: What is this, some kind of Halloween joke, what am I supposed to do with him?
Palmer Canon: Pay attention.
Teddy Long: Pay attention to what?
Palmer Canon: To the Boogeyman!
[to Boogeyman]
Palmer Canon: Do your, do your thing.
The Boogeyman: [Stares into the camera and holds up his clock] One two, Boogeyman looking for you/Three four better lock your door.
[laughs and starts swinging his clock from side to side]
The Boogeyman: Tick tock, tick tock/From out of the shadows in which I may appear/Tick tock tick tock/As the sound of the clock draws the time near/You about to face your deepest
[pause]
The Boogeyman: FEARS!
[Smashes the clock over his head]
The Boogeyman: Nine ten never sleep again/
[laughs, big smile]
The Boogeyman: I'm the Boogeyman and I'm coming to get you!
[Turns to Teddy Long for his response]
Teddy Long: Boogeyman, you, you may have some potential.