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: I don't think this is due East. Chode
: Now you're sounding like Six!. What the hell does due East mean anyway?
: [confronted by a bunch of evil looking walking trees
] I think I just rusted myself!
: Mr. Big? Is that just a nickname of is he really...
: [off screen
] Eight minutes to the annihilation of Pyridia Gus
: Well, that's that. You can kiss my shiny ass goodbye. Chode
: If that doesn't make me wanna get outta here, nothing will.
: Is money all you ever think about? Chode
: Well, that and snatcheroosky... 'less there's a game on.
: Ugh. Nice landing. Chode
: Hey! You try driving sober!
: How are we ever gonna find him? Chode
: Kid, I don't know everything. Gus
: Do you know anything? Chode
: I know a robot who's gonna get his ass kicked.
: What, may I as, is the big hurry? Chode
: Dugh! It's lapdance Tuesday at McHooter's!
: Are you implying that I'm gay? You take that back or I will bitch-slap you from here to Liza Minelli's house.
: Are you implying that I'm gay? You take that back or I will bitch-slap you from here to Liza Minnelli's house.
: You mean you're willing to put all our precious lives at risk just so your insurance won't go up a dollar? Chode
: Hey, I may need that dollar one day to stick down a strippers G-string.
: Phew, this stinks worse than an episode of 'Joey'.
: Well, you know what they say: you can lead a horse to water but you can't get over how big it's genitals are.
: I have to say, I'm disappointed. Chode
: Six! I though you'd be glad that I'm still here. Wouldn't you miss the time we spend, the laughs we share, the ideas we discuss and my purple pleasure plunger? Gus
: Oh! Six
: Of course, it's just that after all the beautiful notions, it's too bad that love doesn't really conquer all. Gus
: I don't know, seeing Darph and Adam with their wives, they looked pretty conquered.
: Don't move! You're under arrest. T'nuk
: So long, Chode, see you in prison. Whip
: Bye, Uncle Chode, and make me a licence plate! Gus
: A hint from Helloise: she said dropping the soap in the jailhouse shower is a great way to make new friends.
: He's right, I'm not Six. I'm the human she was copied from. Gus
: You mean Six is based on a human prototype? Not a bunch of ideal female body parts, like in 'Weird Science'?
: Chode, if you only had intercourse with this women in a 24 hour period, the chances of you being the father of her child are infinitetisimal. Chode
: Hmm. So, I'm pretty much the poppa, huh? Gus
: No, you idiot, Dinina probably has you mixed up with some other purple Varcity slob.
: [acting as Chode's lawyer
] What is your impression of the plaintive? T'nuk
: I don't do impressions. I'm more of a one line zinger type of comedienne.
: Isn't that Paris Ramada, the hotel heiress? Whip
: Er, I'm not sure... Gus
: Oh come on, you must have wacked off to her sex hologram about a dozen times. Whip
: Actually, I only made it through the first ten seconds. After that, I fall asleep.
: We have to find out if she's who she says she is, and there's only one way to prove it. Six
: [Chode grabs Six's arm to lead her away
] Ah! Gus
: Oh, you're not actually going to have sex with her now, on a plane full of deadly snakes, and flying on fumes? Chode
: Relax, this shouldn't take long.
: Hey, relax, guys, if anyone can get out of here, it's Six. Gus
: Hm! What does she know about the intricacies of the male anatomy? Chode
: Hah! If anyone knows their way around a man's body, it's her. She does this thing with her tongue, you know, right on the rim of your... Yoo, just thinking about it makes me... Gus
: Chode! Focus! We are about to explode! Chode
: My thoughts exactly.
: Thank goodness! His anus! Chode
: What words are never uttered by a straight guy?
: The closest planet is Moldavia V. Chode
: Is that the planet where the women are insatiable nymphomaniacs? Gus
: No. Chode
: Damn. Where is that planet?
: One of my sisters lived in Moldavia once. Gus
: Which one? T'Nuk
: The one I can't stand. She's pushy, she's loud and she's a slut. The exact opposite of me. Gus
: [Six takes command of the ship
] Whip, rift-factor three. Gus
: High five! Whip
: Ah, Nobody high-fives anymore. T'nuk
: Chest thump?
: Do I look like a purple, phallic haired, no pants wearing lazy ass to you? Gus
: No. Six
: Then how could you confuse me with Chode?
: Darph Bobo! I thought I smelled Vaseline. What do you want, anyway? Darph Bobo
: Hmm, what do I want? Oh yeah... BLOODY VENGEANCE! Six of One
: Where do you know this guy from? Chode
: Uh, hi. We spent some time together in prison. Gus
: Oh let me guess, judging by his size, I'd say you were the bitch, am I right?
: Who are you talking to? Chode
: Uh, ship's recorder. Gus
: Oh, it's broken. Chode
: Then what the hell have you been fixing these past two days? Gus
: The trans-digital freon convertor. Chode
: And what's that for? Gus
: It makes ice cubes. Chode
: You mean to tell me that with all the crap that's broken on this ship you start with the fucking ice machine?
: [to Chode
] It amazes me that although I'm a robot, I'm infinitely more evolved and refined than you are!
: Whip, what are you doing? I told you to convert the transporter to accommodate a time continuum. Whip
: It's done-ski! It's all ready to go. Gus
: What? How did you manage to convert the system so quickly? That's a complicated procedure. Whip
: I downloaded bootleg software from the Internet.
: Please, if I don't find Adam's son, I'm a dead man! T'nuk
: I know! You keep harping on that like it's a bad thing. Gus
: Yeah, what's that about?
: I can't switch the computer out of porn mode without Chode's access codes, so none of the bills are being paid.
: What if men were held up to that sort of artificial standard? Chode
: We are! Only difference is, instead a' looks, it's how much dough we got. Right now, I'm one attractive guy
[rubs money on himself
: Well, XP had a field day with the ship's circuit board. Chode
: Well, how long until you bring things back to normal? Gus
: It will take me three weeks just to get the light to come on when you open the fridge.
: Everyone grab a piece of princess to go, and follow me through this secret passage way. Six
: Where does it lead? Gus
: Oh let me guess, to a long forgotten laboratory where a scientist once reanimated the dead? Frau Schmit
: Wow, does someone got that women's intuition or what?
: It's not over by a long shot. Chode's not just gonna stand by and let this happen to us. Gus
: Did some of the silicone in those breasts of yours go to your head? We walked out on Chode with not so much as a two week notice and the last image he has of us is T'Nuk's giant, hairy ass. T'nuk
: Hey, there are men who would'a gladly pay for a picture of that. Gus
: Weren't they all incarcerated or insane? T'nuk
: I told you that in confidence, Mr. Big Mouth.
: After surviving my own near death experience, I see now what a bastard I've been.
[the crew is stunned
: You mean: lazy, selfish bastard. Chode
: That's absolutely right, Bob, I stand corrected. T'nuk
: Make that: fat, lazy, selfish, selfish bastard. Gus
: Actually, I was going to throw in ego-maniacal. Whip
: Nah, too wordy. How does 'self centered purple creepazoid' grab ya?
: Chode is gonna get killed. We gotta do something. Gus
: [filing his nails
] Six is right. T'nuk
: I'm coming up empty. Gus
: Me too.
: What is this strange thing? We have never seen anything like it. Fat Kubrickian
: It looks like a man and yet, it has the fey, girlish manners of a woman. Gus
: You've never even seen a robot before and already you think I'm gay? Chode
: They're primitive, not stupid.
: There's no reason to resort to sarcasm, Bob, that's my job. Bob
: In that case what's T'nuk's bringing to the table? Other then an insatiable appetite and an inability to remember to flush the toilet.
: Anybody know where a pretty girl can get a needle and thread? Gus
: No, but I know where you can get one, come on.
] I killed him! I guess I was too much woman for him! Poor inadequate slob. Gus
: What a touching eulogy.
: You know when I've got something big and juicy I can't keep my mouth shut. Bob
: Wow, Gus, do you listen to yourself? That was too gay for 'Will & Grace'.