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Quotes for
Gus (Character)
from Tripping the Rift (2000)

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"Tripping the Rift: Raiders of the Lost Crock of */@?#!" (#3.9)" (2007)
Gus: I don't think this is due East.
Chode: Now you're sounding like Six!. What the hell does due East mean anyway?

Gus: [confronted by a bunch of evil looking walking trees] I think I just rusted myself!

Gus: Mr. Big? Is that just a nickname of is he really...

Intercom voice: [off screen] Eight minutes to the annihilation of Pyridia
Gus: Well, that's that. You can kiss my shiny ass goodbye.
Chode: If that doesn't make me wanna get outta here, nothing will.


"Tripping the Rift: Aliens, Guns & a Monkey (#1.10)" (2004)
Gus: Is money all you ever think about?
Chode: Well, that and snatcheroosky... 'less there's a game on.

Gus: Ugh. Nice landing.
Chode: Hey! You try driving sober!

Whip: How are we ever gonna find him?
Chode: Kid, I don't know everything.
Gus: Do you know anything?
Chode: I know a robot who's gonna get his ass kicked.


"Tripping the Rift: You Wanna Put That Where? (#2.2)" (2004)
Gus: What, may I as, is the big hurry?
Chode: Dugh! It's lapdance Tuesday at McHooter's!

Gus: Are you implying that I'm gay? You take that back or I will bitch-slap you from here to Liza Minelli's house.

Gus: Are you implying that I'm gay? You take that back or I will bitch-slap you from here to Liza Minnelli's house.


"Tripping the Rift: Roswell (#2.8)" (2005)
Gus: You mean you're willing to put all our precious lives at risk just so your insurance won't go up a dollar?
Chode: Hey, I may need that dollar one day to stick down a strippers G-string.

Gus: Phew, this stinks worse than an episode of 'Joey'.


"Tripping the Rift: Love Conquers All... Almost (#1.12)" (2004)
Gus: Well, you know what they say: you can lead a horse to water but you can't get over how big it's genitals are.

Six: I have to say, I'm disappointed.
Chode: Six! I though you'd be glad that I'm still here. Wouldn't you miss the time we spend, the laughs we share, the ideas we discuss and my purple pleasure plunger?
Gus: Oh!
Six: Of course, it's just that after all the beautiful notions, it's too bad that love doesn't really conquer all.
Gus: I don't know, seeing Darph and Adam with their wives, they looked pretty conquered.


"Tripping the Rift: Six, Lies and Videotape (#2.13)" (2004)
Cop: Don't move! You're under arrest.
T'nuk: So long, Chode, see you in prison.
Whip: Bye, Uncle Chode, and make me a licence plate!
Gus: A hint from Helloise: she said dropping the soap in the jailhouse shower is a great way to make new friends.

Haffa Dozen: He's right, I'm not Six. I'm the human she was copied from.
Gus: You mean Six is based on a human prototype? Not a bunch of ideal female body parts, like in 'Weird Science'?


"Tripping the Rift: The Son Also Rises (#3.10)" (2007)
Six: Chode, if you only had intercourse with this women in a 24 hour period, the chances of you being the father of her child are infinitetisimal.
Chode: Hmm. So, I'm pretty much the poppa, huh?
Gus: No, you idiot, Dinina probably has you mixed up with some other purple Varcity slob.

Gus: [acting as Chode's lawyer] What is your impression of the plaintive?
T'nuk: I don't do impressions. I'm more of a one line zinger type of comedienne.


"Tripping the Rift: 23 1/2 (#3.4)" (2007)
Gus: Isn't that Paris Ramada, the hotel heiress?
Whip: Er, I'm not sure...
Gus: Oh come on, you must have wacked off to her sex hologram about a dozen times.
Whip: Actually, I only made it through the first ten seconds. After that, I fall asleep.

Chode: We have to find out if she's who she says she is, and there's only one way to prove it.
Six: [Chode grabs Six's arm to lead her away] Ah!
Gus: Oh, you're not actually going to have sex with her now, on a plane full of deadly snakes, and flying on fumes?
Chode: Relax, this shouldn't take long.


"Tripping the Rift: Honey, I Shrunk the Crew (#2.3)" (2004)
Chode: Hey, relax, guys, if anyone can get out of here, it's Six.
Gus: Hm! What does she know about the intricacies of the male anatomy?
Chode: Hah! If anyone knows their way around a man's body, it's her. She does this thing with her tongue, you know, right on the rim of your... Yoo, just thinking about it makes me...
Gus: Chode! Focus! We are about to explode!
Chode: My thoughts exactly.

Gus: Thank goodness! His anus!
Chode: What words are never uttered by a straight guy?


"Tripping the Rift: Nature vs. Nurture (#1.9)" (2004)
Gus: The closest planet is Moldavia V.
Chode: Is that the planet where the women are insatiable nymphomaniacs?
Gus: No.
Chode: Damn. Where is that planet?

T'Nuk: One of my sisters lived in Moldavia once.
Gus: Which one?
T'Nuk: The one I can't stand. She's pushy, she's loud and she's a slut. The exact opposite of me.
Gus: Really?


"Tripping the Rift: The Need for Greed (#3.5)" (2007)
Six: [Six takes command of the ship] Whip, rift-factor three.
Gus: High five!
Whip: Ah, Nobody high-fives anymore.
T'nuk: Chest thump?

Six: Do I look like a purple, phallic haired, no pants wearing lazy ass to you?
Gus: No.
Six: Then how could you confuse me with Chode?


Tripping the Rift (2000)
Chode: Darph Bobo! I thought I smelled Vaseline. What do you want, anyway?
Darph Bobo: Hmm, what do I want? Oh yeah... BLOODY VENGEANCE!
Six of One: Where do you know this guy from?
Chode: Uh, hi. We spent some time together in prison.
Gus: Oh let me guess, judging by his size, I'd say you were the bitch, am I right?

Gus: Who are you talking to?
Chode: Uh, ship's recorder.
Gus: Oh, it's broken.
Chode: Then what the hell have you been fixing these past two days?
Gus: The trans-digital freon convertor.
Chode: And what's that for?
Gus: It makes ice cubes.
Chode: You mean to tell me that with all the crap that's broken on this ship you start with the fucking ice machine?


"Tripping the Rift: God Is Our Pilot (#1.1)" (2004)
Gus: [to Chode] It amazes me that although I'm a robot, I'm infinitely more evolved and refined than you are!


"Tripping the Rift: The Devil and a Guy Named Webster (#1.5)" (2004)
Six: Whip, what are you doing? I told you to convert the transporter to accommodate a time continuum.
Whip: It's done-ski! It's all ready to go.
Gus: What? How did you manage to convert the system so quickly? That's a complicated procedure.
Whip: I downloaded bootleg software from the Internet.


"Tripping the Rift: Creaturepalooza (#2.11)" (2004)
Chode: Please, if I don't find Adam's son, I'm a dead man!
T'nuk: I know! You keep harping on that like it's a bad thing.
Gus: Yeah, what's that about?


"Tripping the Rift: Emasculating Chode (#1.11)" (2004)
Gus: I can't switch the computer out of porn mode without Chode's access codes, so none of the bills are being paid.


"Tripping the Rift: Miss Galaxy 5000 (#1.3)" (2004)
Gus: What if men were held up to that sort of artificial standard?
Chode: We are! Only difference is, instead a' looks, it's how much dough we got. Right now, I'm one attractive guy
[rubs money on himself]


"Tripping the Rift: Totally Recalled (#1.6)" (2004)
Gus: Well, XP had a field day with the ship's circuit board.
Chode: Well, how long until you bring things back to normal?
Gus: It will take me three weeks just to get the light to come on when you open the fridge.


"Tripping the Rift: Skankenstein (#3.1)" (2007)
Frau Schmit: Everyone grab a piece of princess to go, and follow me through this secret passage way.
Six: Where does it lead?
Gus: Oh let me guess, to a long forgotten laboratory where a scientist once reanimated the dead?
Frau Schmit: Wow, does someone got that women's intuition or what?


"Tripping the Rift: All for None (#2.6)" (2004)
Six: It's not over by a long shot. Chode's not just gonna stand by and let this happen to us.
Gus: Did some of the silicone in those breasts of yours go to your head? We walked out on Chode with not so much as a two week notice and the last image he has of us is T'Nuk's giant, hairy ass.
T'nuk: Hey, there are men who would'a gladly pay for a picture of that.
Gus: Weren't they all incarcerated or insane?
T'nuk: I told you that in confidence, Mr. Big Mouth.


"Tripping the Rift: Chode's Near Death-Experience (#2.12)" (2005)
Chode: After surviving my own near death experience, I see now what a bastard I've been.
[the crew is stunned]
Bob: You mean: lazy, selfish bastard.
Chode: That's absolutely right, Bob, I stand corrected.
T'nuk: Make that: fat, lazy, selfish, selfish bastard.
Gus: Actually, I was going to throw in ego-maniacal.
Whip: Nah, too wordy. How does 'self centered purple creepazoid' grab ya?


"Tripping the Rift: Santa Clownza (#2.9)" (2004)
Six: Chode is gonna get killed. We gotta do something.
Gus: [filing his nails] Six is right.
T'nuk: I'm coming up empty.
Gus: Me too.


"Tripping the Rift: 2001 Space Idiocies (#1.7)" (2004)
Thin Kubrickian: What is this strange thing? We have never seen anything like it.
Fat Kubrickian: It looks like a man and yet, it has the fey, girlish manners of a woman.
Gus: You've never even seen a robot before and already you think I'm gay?
Chode: They're primitive, not stupid.


"Tripping the Rift: Extreme Takeover (#3.11)" (2007)
Gus: There's no reason to resort to sarcasm, Bob, that's my job.
Bob: In that case what's T'nuk's bringing to the table? Other then an insatiable appetite and an inability to remember to flush the toilet.


"Tripping the Rift: Power to the Peephole (#1.8)" (2004)
T'Nuk: Anybody know where a pretty girl can get a needle and thread?
Gus: No, but I know where you can get one, come on.


"Tripping the Rift: Mutilation Ball (#1.2)" (2004)
T'nuk: [sobbing] I killed him! I guess I was too much woman for him! Poor inadequate slob.
Gus: What a touching eulogy.


"Tripping the Rift: Extreme Chode (#2.7)" (2004)
Gus: You know when I've got something big and juicy I can't keep my mouth shut.
Bob: Wow, Gus, do you listen to yourself? That was too gay for 'Will & Grace'.