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Quotes for
Bob (Character)
from "Tripping the Rift" (2004)

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"Tripping the Rift: Extreme Takeover (#3.11)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Eat your heart out, Millennium Falcon.

Six: Bob, is that you?
Bob: I detect surprise in your vocal patterns, Six. Perhaps I can explain. Master Sergio upgraded my virtual memory.
T'nuk: So from now on you're going to sound like someone shoved a dictionary up your ass?
Bob: Precisely.

Gus: There's no reason to resort to sarcasm, Bob, that's my job.
Bob: In that case what's T'nuk's bringing to the table? Other then an insatiable appetite and an inability to remember to flush the toilet.


"Tripping the Rift: To eBay or Not to eBay (#3.3)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Please remember to put your flight attendant back in her upright position.

Bob: [Six sticks her arm in the ships' replacement exhaust] Hey, how would you like it if someone poked around in your exhaust?
Six: Chode does it all the time.

Chode: [Chode's chair has been stolen] Holy shit! My command post! My symbol of power!
[starts to sob]
Bob: What got stolen, his chair or his dick?


"Tripping the Rift: Chode Eraser (#3.2)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Is outer space still called 'outer space' if you're in it?

Bob: [waking up from a dream] Huh? I didn't know docking with the mothership was considered incest, your honor!
[goes back to sleep]


"Tripping the Rift: 23 1/2 (#3.4)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Who's playing Six now?

Bob: I feel about as useful as a Michael Richards public apology.


"Tripping the Rift: Raiders of the Lost Crock of */@?#!" (#3.9)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Now that's what I'm talking about.

Bob: Before he left, Chode but a club on the ignition. About all I can do is talk and expell waste. I guess that makes me Dr. Phil.


"Tripping the Rift: Android Love (#1.13)" (2004)
Chode: I got the mother of all hangovers.
Bob: Ugh, then I must have the father.

Chode: Ugh. Women!
Bob: Tell me about it! I once had a chick who took all my spare parts and ran off with a fricking star ship.
Chode: I bet you hate her.
Bob: Nah, that's the part that stinks. Sometimes... when I'm drunk I think about her and my thrusters still get hard.


"Tripping the Rift: Creaturepalooza (#2.11)" (2004)
Bob: You know how to tell when the captain's lying? His lips move.


"Tripping the Rift: Chuckles Bites the Dust (#3.6)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Hey Six, come here and twiddle my knobs.


"Tripping the Rift: Skankenstein (#3.1)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] What the hell does 'Tripping the Rift' mean, anyway?


"Tripping the Rift: Cool Whip (#2.1)" (2004)
Bob: Geez, Gus, you've been working on that hose for a good ten minutes. At what point does maintenance end and inappropriate touching begin?


"Tripping the Rift: Chode's Near Death-Experience (#2.12)" (2005)
Chode: After surviving my own near death experience, I see now what a bastard I've been.
[the crew is stunned]
Bob: You mean: lazy, selfish bastard.
Chode: That's absolutely right, Bob, I stand corrected.
T'nuk: Make that: fat, lazy, selfish, selfish bastard.
Gus: Actually, I was going to throw in ego-maniacal.
Whip: Nah, too wordy. How does 'self centered purple creepazoid' grab ya?


"Tripping the Rift: The Son Also Rises (#3.10)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Peter Piper picked a peck of purple peckers.


"Tripping the Rift: Ghost Ship (#2.4)" (2004)
Six: Bob, we've been over this before. We're just friends...
Bob: Yeah, well, friends don't let friends dry hump.
Six: That's 'drive drunk'.


"Tripping the Rift: Hollow Chode (#3.7)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] What was Mr. Spock always looking at inside that View-Master of his?


"Tripping the Rift: Extreme Chode (#2.7)" (2004)
Gus: You know when I've got something big and juicy I can't keep my mouth shut.
Bob: Wow, Gus, do you listen to yourself? That was too gay for 'Will & Grace'.


"Tripping the Rift: The Need for Greed (#3.5)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Warning. This episode may contain nuts.


"Tripping the Rift: Witness Protection (#3.8)" (2007)
Bob: [during opening credits] Why can't I stop thinking about tits?