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Roderick 'The Scunner' Campbell
: Watch carefully as I become the greatest, most super person the world has evern known. Greater even than... Superman. Tub
: Shouldn't you have a telephone booth and a change of clothes, then, uncle? Roderick 'The Scunner' Campbell
: It must have shot out there, somewhere, uncle. Roderick 'The Scunner' Campbell
: I realize that, you prune. Tub
: Why don't you ask those people doen there? Roderick 'The Scunner' Campbell
: Ask 'em what, eh, Tub? Please, by any chance did you see a, a magic ray floating around, 'cause we've just lost ours? Don't be daft!
: That was her, uncle, that was that Supergran! Roderick 'The Scunner' Campbell
: I realize that, you barrell of bungling incompitence.
: What are you going to with to me? Torture me or something? Supergran
: That's quite an idea. In the meantime then, I might play you my entire collection of bagpipe records and... make you listen to them!
The Scunner Campbell
: What was that you said that idiot banana Black had invented? Tub
: An invisible shield! The Scunner Campbell
: 'm not a proper person anymore, I'm just some blinkin' eyeballs in the air.
: A job, boss? Tub
: You, uncle, work for a living? The Scunner Campbell
: Well, why not? I've tried everything else.
: Accountant, you, boss? Tub
: But Uncle, you can't even add up. Noodles
: And you always said accountants were the sort of people that should be ground underfoot, like television critics and estate agents.
: [the Scunner has decided to marry Lady Valerie
] But you can't uncle! Noodles
: I mean she's horrible, Boss. Not to mention extremely boring.
] The Scunner Campbell
: So are most women after a while anyway. No, this one is definitely... Noodles
: You're not serious, boss? The Scunner Campbell
: Lady Valerie is everything a man could ever want. Tub
: Yeah, wrinkles and moustache.
: What are you going to do, uncle? I mean, you haven't got 2.000 pounds, have you? Scunner Campbell
: No, not quite. More like 65p.
: But why do we have to go to the theater tonight, uncle? Scunner Campbell
: Because tonight we'lll see that mingebag meet her Waterloo. Noodles
: Waterloo, boss? I thought you said it was a theater, not a railway station?
: [catching their first glimpse of Wanda
] Blimey. Tub
: She's gonna win the Chisleton Beauty contest, uncle? The Scunner Campbell
: This could call for desperate measures, lads.