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: Honey, I'm home... Family? Candice
: Downstairs... Siri
: Can you turn your right toe slightly towards me? Nadine
: It hurts. Siri
: I just got off a plane from Ohio. I am in a post-graduate delirium.
: [on why her ex-boyfriend went to Colorado
] Something about building a shrine to his ancestors out of a dying tree.
: In high school, you were always the "I have to go home" girl. Are you still the "i have to go home" girl? Aura
: I have to go home.
: You know the thing about your friends? They weren't assholes, were they? Aura
: No, not at all. Charlotte
: See, that's the problem. Our people are assholes. Our moms are assholes. Aura
: You think my mom's an asshole? Charlotte
: Yeah. She's too successful not to be.
: You get him out of our house. Aura
: What? Siri
: I want him out of my house! Aura
: He's not doing anything! He's only been in my room! Siri
: He is in the laundry room mixing lights and darks!
: [to Siri when Aura asks to borrow her laptop
] Did you just google 'cupcakes'?
: How are things? Aura
: Um. I'm really tired. I took three klonopin and woke up next to a spoon full of peanut butter.
: I have no experience. Charlotte
: It's absolutely fine. On my resume under "skills", I put "has a landline".
: These guys are such fucking dirt bags, man. I'm just sitting there, trying to read my book, and they're all crowded around watching "cum omelette" on someone's iPhone. Aura
: What is "cum omelette"? Keith
: A porn video. Aura
: What happens in it? Keith
: Pretty self explanatory.
: You don't have AIDS, do you? Keith
: No. Do you? Aura
: Uh uh. Keith
: Do you have herpes? Aura
: No. Do you? Keith
: OK, full disclosure. I was in rehab in 2007. It wasn't for this pot, it was for like a blow situation that I since cleared up. Aura
: Do you drink? Charlotte
: Yeah, no, no, umm... only kombucha, you know? And some red wine, but that's good for you. But I don't think we need to talk about all our issues, you know?
: I have like a million things I could say right now. Aura
: Like what? Nadine
: Like get a fucking li... ghtbulb.