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Quotes for
Wooldoor Sockbat (Character)
from "Drawn Together" (2004)

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"Drawn Together: Clum Babies (#2.5)" (2005)
Wooldoor Sockbat: I never mastribate again! I don't want to go to hell! I QUIT!
[he runs off crying like crazy]

[Bob the Cucumber points his gun at Wooldoor]
Wooldoor Sockbat: [begging] Please don't kill me! I don't want to die!
Bob the Cucumber: Don't be scared, Wooldoor. I saved them all from going to hell, and now I will save your soul too!

Wooldoor Sockbat: Oh my god! The VeggieFables! I love your religious propaganda clumsy disguised as children's entertainment!

[Wooldoor, Clara, Bob, and Larry are at a church, praying]
Larry the Tomato: I'm sorry for thinking impure thoughts!
[whips himself]
Bob the Cucumber: I'm sorry for being so phallic!
[whips himself]
Princess Clara: I'm sorry for buying child slaves from Third World countries.
[whips herself]
Chinese Boy: [puts down his feather duster] Free!
Princess Clara: I said I'm sorry, not stop dusting!
Wooldoor Sockbat: I'm sorry I masturbated!
[whips himself]
Wooldoor Sockbat: Ow! And I'm sorry I helped people!
[whips himself again]
Wooldoor Sockbat: Ow! And I'm sorry I spied on Clara going potty every morning
Princess Clara: What? That's disgusting!
Wooldoor Sockbat: [smiles] Oh, you're one to talk, Princess Smell-Your-Wipes.
[Clara whips him]
Wooldoor Sockbat: Ow!


"Drawn Together: Gay Bash (#1.3)" (2004)
Foxxy Love: I used to pretend I wasn't black. I told people I fell into a vat of chocolate pudding.
Wooldoor Sockbat: [licking Foxxy's foot] You mean this isn't pudding?
Foxxy Love: Did I tell you to stop lickin'?

Toot Braunstein: Of course Xandir's gay. Why else wouldn't he want all this?
[shows off body]
Wooldoor Sockbat: Because you're fat! And nobody likes fat chicks!


"Drawn Together: The Lemon AIDS Walk (#2.12)" (2006)
Wooldoor Sockbat: [after Clara replaced his job with Spanky] How could you guys? How could you?
[Wooldoor starts crying and runs away]
Spanky Ham: I feel so guilty.
Princess Clara: Me too. Poor Wooldoor.

Princess Clara: Psst. Wooldoor. Up here. We can escape through this vent.
Wooldoor Sockbat: [angrily] No. I don't want your help.
Princess Clara: Oh Wooldoor. I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. You deserve better.
[holds her hand out to Wooldoor]
Wooldoor Sockbat: [sheds tears] Oh Clara. That's all I ever wanted to hear.


"Drawn Together: Requiem for a Reality Show (#1.4)" (2004)
[Wooldoor is crying while trying to get his stomach off a cactus]
Princess Clara: Wooldoor, what's the matter?
Wooldoor Sockbat: [Crying] Spanky said my stomach was making too much noise, so he put it up in that cactus.
Princess Clara: [retrives Wooldoor's stomach] Aw Wooldoor. Spanky is just a bully. You need to stand up to him.
Wooldoor Sockbat: [puts his stomach back inside of himself] I do?

Wooldoor Sockbat: [running around the house excitedly] Guys, guys, guys, guys! Guys, guys, guys, guys! Oh this is great! Oh I love it! Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!
[Wooldoor freeze frames in the air and a subtitle with his Latin name appears just like in the Road Runner cartoons. His Latin name is "Ritalinus Shouldatakus"]


"Drawn Together: Captain Hero's Marriage Pact (#2.4)" (2005)
Captain Hero: Would you be more comfortable if I broke your arm in three places and wrapped it in 100 dollar bills?
Wooldoor Sockbat: Are you threatening me - or bribing me?
Captain Hero: What an insulting accusation! Take that back before I pull out your spleen and then drive you to the hospital in your... BRAND NEW CAR!

Captain Hero: Don't make me kick your ass!
Wooldoor Sockbat: Don't make me suck your dick!
Captain Hero: Don't make me cuddle you like a baby!
Wooldoor Sockbat: Don't make me suck your dick!


"Drawn Together: Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable! (#3.2)" (2006)
Wooldoor Sockbat: [singing] So clench your teeth and not ethnicity


"Drawn Together: A Very Special Drawn Together After School Special (#2.13)" (2006)
Wooldoor Sockbat: [the housemates are role-playing, Wooldoor speaks to Xandir] "Now, you be the gay's dad".
Xandir: "Oh, O.K".
[deeper voice]
Xandir: "I love football!"
[slaps Toot, who is Xandir's mother]
Xandir: .
Wooldoor Sockbat: [points to Captain Hero] "And you be the gay".
Captain Hero: [as Xandir's father] "I ain't gonna be no homo!".
Wooldoor Sockbat: "Fine, you be Xandir's mum".
Captain Hero: [as Xandir's mother in a higher voice] "Alright, I'm asking for this!"
[slaps himself]
Captain Hero: .
Toot Braunstein: [Angrily] "Then who the hell am I?".
Wooldoor Sockbat: "You're the homo".
Toot Braunstein: [wistfully] "Can I be the dad?".
Wooldoor Sockbat: "Fine, you be Stan".
Xandir: [confused] "Then who the hell am I?".
Toot Braunstein: [angrily, as Xandir's father] "The queer!"
[punches Captain Hero, who is Xandir's mother]
Toot Braunstein: .
Wooldoor Sockbat: [disappointed] "I wanted to be the queer!".


"Drawn Together: Lost in Parking Space: Part Two (#3.8)" (2008)
Wooldoor Sockbat: We can't all keep dying and then coming back to life the next episode! It's totally illogical!
Ling-Ling: [who was earlier killed and eaten] Tell me about it!


"Drawn Together: Captain Girl (#2.9)" (2006)
Wooldoor Sockbat: This doesn't make sense... How do you horribly "penis" someone?
Spanky Ham: Alright, but I'm only gonna show you this one more time...
[he says as he starts unzipping his shorts]


"Drawn Together: The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist: Part 2 (#2.1)" (2005)
[repeated line]
Wooldoor Sockbat: Wheeeeeee!


"Drawn Together: Spelling Applebee's (#3.3)" (2006)
Wooldoor Sockbat: Uh, D-O-G. Cat!
Judge: Oh. Close, but that's not the correct spelling of "centrifuge".


"Drawn Together: Alzheimer's That Ends Well (#2.14)" (2006)
Wooldoor Sockbat: Sorry fellas, we can't show you Clara's pink sink. Don't blame us, blame the FCC, which stands for faggoty cuntblocking clamfuckers! Whee!