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: I've never been on a date before. Calvin
: You haven't? Rusty Cartwright
: What? Is that so weird?
[pause, then turns to Dale
] Rusty Cartwright
: Wait, Dale. You've been on a *date*? Dale
: Hey, I'm a virgin. Not a leper.
: Pledge, let's go shopping. Calvin
: Uh, I have a name, you know. Ashleigh
: I'm sure you do.
: So you need a date for Friday. I don't see what the big deal is. Rusty Cartwright
: For the rest of the house it isn't, girls are all they talk about. Calvin
: Oh man I am with you. I am so sick of hearing guys talk about getting laid. Dale
: Calvin, I could not agree more. I mean, when is the Greek system gonna realize that sex before marriage is like slappin' God in the face? Calvin
] Not exactly what I meant.
[Heath tackles Calvin in floor hockey
: You can get off me now. Heath
: Right. Sorry. Call me later?
: What are you doing here? Calvin
: Uh, I believe that's my line. I've been in college 4 weeks, are you suffering from invasion of privacy withdrawal?
: Gay. Homosexual. You know, I can work with that. Calvin Owens
: You can? Dale
: Oh yeah, an intensive prayer and vitamin regimen can cure that.
: What is she doing with him? She must like guys with personality. Dale
: I don't know. He doesn't look that hideous to me. Calvin
: Oh! So you find him attractive? Dale
: Well, his got good bone structure. Calvin
: Wait! It all makes sense! Dale
: What? Calvin
: Oh, Dale. Have you ever thought that the reason you're trying to turn me straight is because, deep down inside, you might be gay? Dale
: That's ridiculous... Calvin
: Just look at the evidence: you don't have sex with women, you like to knit, you appreciate the male form... and I've seen you run, it's a little bit squishy. Dale
: I don't like what you're implying!
: I'm just considering my options, all right? I'm getting a little tired of waiting to hear from you guys. Trent
: Yeah, you're not going to. Hope you guys got plenty of cosmo mix for the fairy.
[Calvin rushes Trent and they fight while the others call out
] Calvin Owens
: I don't even like cosmos, bitch!
: [about Travis
] He's the best thing that's ever happened to me! Calvin Owens
: So you said. Five times.
: You know, most people barely remember their 21st birthday. This will be one I will never forget.