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: Mel, these scrambled eggs are terrific. Mel
: Thank you, Bret. Rain
: Yeah, thanks for the food. It's really nice. Mel
: Thank you. Um, what was your name again? Rain
: It's Rain. Mel
: Oh, that's nice. Like, kind of like bad weather. I remember your name from the fan list. I check it regularly. Do you check it regularly? Rain
: No. Mel
: No? Do you not have a computer, or... Rain
: No, I do have a computer. Mel
: Oh, you can't read.
: So who's the old dude in the photo with you? Mel
: That's my husband, Doug. Summer
: Oh. I thought he was your dad. Mel
: He's a little bit older than me. He was my college professor. I remember seeing him on the first day of college. He was so dapper and so knowledgeable, and I just had to have him. He resisted for a while, and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end love overcame. I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.
: Did you get raped? I know if I was a convict and a pretty boy like you were my cellmate, after lights out, I'd cover your mouth...
: It's like Bonnie and Clyde, you know, they would rob banks and then they would do each other...
[in the middle of the Second Annual Flight of the Conchords Fan Club meeting
: Alright, Item 3. Now if one of the band members was to have a girlfriend, would you find that... A: Very Positive; B: Positive... Mel
: Why do... why do you ask? Murray
: No reason. Mel
: Has Bret got a girlfriend? Murray
: Yes. He's seeing a girl from work. Coko. Mel
: [snaps the tip of her pencil, twitches nervously, then recovers
] Oh... heh. Wow. Well that's great that Bret has a girlfriend. That's really great. Murray
: You don't think that Bret's any less available now that he's... Mel
: Oh no... heh. Is she pretty? Murray
: You're still interested in the band then? Even though... Mel
: Yes, it's nice for Bret to have a girlfriend. Murray
: Good. Mel
: Yes. Murray
: Alright. You're sure? Mel
: Is she stupid? Murray
: You've still got Jemaine anyway. And he's always available, isn't he? He's not gonna... not gonna get a girlfriend any time soon, so... Mel
: Just ummm... Murray
: Try your chances with him, can't you? Mel
: Mmmhmm. Does... does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? A bit? Murray
: A little bit. 'Round the eyes. Mel
: Oh yeah? Big eyes, huh? Murray
: Well she's... she's got eyes.