Seymour Utterthwaite
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Quotes for
Seymour Utterthwaite (Character)
from "Last of the Summer Wine" (1973)

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"Last of the Summer Wine: Dried Dates and Codfanglers (#9.3)" (1986)
Seymour: Have a look in the mailbox. See how many new applicants there are for my postal courses.
Compo: [open and closes mailbox] None!
Seymour: [feigning enthusiasm] Same as last week. Demand remains steady.


"Last of the Summer Wine: Happy Anniversary Gough and Jessie (#11.5)" (1989)
[first lines]
Seymour: What are you wearing?
Compo: When?
Seymour: Tonight. Gough and Jessie's golden wedding aniversary.
Compo: I'll wear me suit.
Seymour: Oh, good grief! You and that suit have been married longer than they have.
Clegg: At least it fits.
Seymour: But who?


"Last of the Summer Wine: The Experiment (#10.1)" (1988)
Seymour: [reassuring] It's just an experiment.
Compo: [complaining] Why do we have to experiment?
Seymour: 'Cause that's the way human beings are: always pushing restlessly against the frontiers of knowledge. You spend a little time upside down, and when you stand up again, you'll find out whether the blood rushes to your head.


"Last of the Summer Wine: Crums (#10.7)" (1988)
[the Trio are clad in Santa outfits, seated in a pub]
Seymour: It's disgusting! What happened to the Christmas spirit?
Clegg: Oh, well, it's us crums.
Seymour: Crums?
Clegg: Christmas Resistance Underground Movement. I've been a crum for years, never realized it, but this morning has really cheered me up. Seems to me there are a lot of us crums about.
Seymour: It's disgusting!
Compo: Landlord, three pints! I'm gonna buy a drink for this here crum.
Clegg: We're just a small, disorganized, peacable mob dedicated to pulling Christmas back down to size. To preserving an air of misery amidst all this good cheer. Come back, Scrooge. All is forgiven.


"Last of the Summer Wine: When You Take a Good Bite, Yorkshire Tastes Terrible (#9.12)" (1987)
[the Trio are drinking in a pub, after Clegg has fallen from a fence onto his head]
Clegg: Hey, listen. If you promise to keep it to yourselves, I'll tell you a scandalous secret. When you get a good bite, Yorkshire tastes terrible.
Seymour: There's a moral there somewhere: Never fall with your mouth open.