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Quotes for
DS Jimmy Beck (Character)
from "Cracker" (1993)

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"Cracker: To Be a Somebody: Part 1 (#2.1)" (1994)
DS Jimmy Beck: [Beck is being reprimanded for beating Albie up in a vengeful rage] He resisted! Look closely and you might find some cuts and bruises!
DCI Charlie Wise: You always were an ugly bastard, though, weren't ya.
[Beck grimaces]
DCI Charlie Wise: Do you want this guy to get life?
DS Jimmy Beck: I want him hung!
DCI Charlie Wise: He shows up black and blue, he wins the sympathy of the court! It affects our chances!
DS Jimmy Beck: Have you told Catriona?
DCI Charlie Wise: Who's Catriona?
DS Jimmy Beck: The boss's wife. David Bilborough's widow. I think it'd be a good idea to tell her we've caught the bastard.
DCI Charlie Wise: Phone her.
[Beck reaches for the phone]
DCI Charlie Wise: Not yet! There's a community relations course next week. You'll be on it! When that course is over, I'll find you another! You're going on more courses than Lester bloody Piggot! And when this case is over, and you've learned your lesson, you can come back to this nick! Now get out!
[Beck angrily leaves the room]

Fitz: Someone goes into the store, buys a copy of the Guardian and a packet of teabags, and walks out without them. Why? A trauma. An argument.
DS Jimmy Beck: Bollocks.
DCI David Bilborough: We're looking for a skinhead.
Fitz: Whoever bought those items has not come forward.
DCI David Bilborough: That row was witnessed. He was an ordinary bloke, ordinary clothes, ordinary haircut. He's got nothing to do with the killing.
DS Jimmy Beck: Bollocks.
DCI David Bilborough: Jimmy, will you shut up?
DS Jimmy Beck: It's a load of bollocks!
Fitz: The shopkeeper didn't pick up the 4p. Why? Because he was dead.
DCI David Bilborough: He probably had a bad back! Fitz, we've got a description of the killer! He was a bloody skinhead, for God's sake, a bloody skinhead.
Fitz: There's a row. He goes home, broods a bit, shaves his head, comes back, throws the four pence at him, and stabs him, right?
DS Jimmy Beck: Bollocks!
Fitz: [to Beck] You need a Thesaurus.

DCI David Bilborough: Just answer the bloody question, Jimmy. Did you talk to that bloody woman or not?
DS Jimmy Beck: I will not answer that question!
DCI David Bilborough: Did you talk to that woman? Yes or No?
DS Jimmy Beck: For Christ's Sake, what do you think I am? I've been doing this job for the past 15 years, and you can ask me a question like that? What does that show, eh?
DCI David Bilborough: I haven't got time to argue with you, Jimmy! Did you talk to that bloody woman?
DS Jimmy Beck: That shows it! You've got no faith in me whatsoever! God's sake, FIFTEEN years!
DCI David Bilborough: Somebody did! Somebody talked to her, now was it you?
DS Jimmy Beck: No!
DCI David Bilborough: Thank you!
DS Jimmy Beck: But it crossed your mind! That's the point! It crossed your mind that I might have been the one!
DCI David Bilborough: A process of elimination, Jimmy! You're eliminated! Send Harriman in!
DS Jimmy Beck: How do you think that makes me feel?
DCI David Bilborough: I get the picture. You're feeling a bit angry, right? OK, fine, noted. Send Harriman in.
DS Jimmy Beck: You're treating me like some bloody prick fresh from training, just wet behind the bloody ears.
DCI David Bilborough: SEND HARRIMAN IN!

Albie Kinsella: I haven't had me head shaven.
DS Jimmy Beck: Well you're in for a real shock when you look in the mirror.
Albie Kinsella: [Dryly] It fell out.
[Jimmy looks surprised]
Albie Kinsella: [Voice faltering] I've got cancer. I'm on chemotherapy.
[Showing him some hospital papers]
Albie Kinsella: I'm an out patient at Stonefield.

[Discussing Albie's possible connection to Shahid Ali]
Penhaligon: He's on the right bus route.
DS Jimmy Beck: He's been off sick for months. He's got cancer.
Penhaligon: Did you check?
DS Jimmy Beck: Yes.
Penhaligon: With the employer?
DS Jimmy Beck: He showed me the letters from the hospital. Don't teach your grandmother how to suck eggs.
[Penhaligon picks the telephone up]
DS Jimmy Beck: He's got a cat and kittens, for God's sake. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
[Later, on the phone with Albie's employer]
Penhaligon: You're sure? Thank you.
[Hangs up]
Penhaligon: He hasn't missed work for the past two years.

[At the crime scene of Shahid Ali]
DCI David Bilborough: Did he say anything?
Gregson: He was dead.
DCI David Bilborough: No. The skinhead.
Gregson: No.
DCI David Bilborough: Would you recognize him if you saw him again?
Gregson: [Shrugging] He was a skinhead, you know what I mean? They all look alike.
DCI David Bilborough: Have you mentioned this to anyone else?
Gregson: Just the police.
DCI David Bilborough: I'd like to keep it that way, OK? Just between us.
Gregson: Sure.
DS Jimmy Beck: Keep it under your hat.


"Cracker: One Day a Lemming Will Fly: Part 2 (#1.7)" (1993)
DS Jimmy Beck: What would you say if I told you he was queer?
Leslie: I'd say that you were the one with the moustache.

DS Jimmy Beck: Shall I tell you why I can't stand lesbians?
Fitz: Please.
DS Jimmy Beck: Queers are okay. As long as I don't turn my back on them, they're okay. Two queers doing it, that's two women gone spare. But two lesbians doing it, that's two men gone short.
Fitz: You can tell he reads the Guardian, can't you?

DS Jimmy Beck: Explain the fibres on your watch.
Nigel Cassidy: I've no need to explain anything.
DS Jimmy Beck: They prove that sometime between five o'clock and the time of his death. You touched him! Did more than touch him! Oh, for a commoner garden rapist, them I can understand! But sick bastards like you shoving bits of metal into young kids! What kind of hobby is that, huh?
Fitz: You're going too far. Homophobia. It's got more than two syllables, so you won't understand.
DS Jimmy Beck: What kind of possible pleasure can you get out of that?
Fitz: Homophobia, a morbid fear of homosexuality.
DS Jimmy Beck: [to Fitz] Look, I know what "Fiztophobia" is, a morbid fear who talk through their ass! Just stay out of this!
Fitz: You were about fourteen when you came here, right?
DS Jimmy Beck: [Pointing to Cassidy] That's the suspect!
Fitz: New boy in school. Difficult age to make friends. The girls would talk to you. A new face, girls like that, but the boys...
DS Jimmy Beck: [to Cassidy] We've got clout. When we bang you up, you're gonna be begging for section 43. A bit of protection.
Nigel Cassidy: I don't want protection.
Fitz: The boys ignored you, didn't they, Beck?
DS Jimmy Beck: [Ignoring Fitz] You think the screws are gonna give you protection? Are they shite!
Nigel Cassidy: I don't want it.
Fitz: [to Beck] One boy in particular. You wanted to be near him, you wanted to hold him, and touch him. It bothered you.
DS Jimmy Beck: [Still ignoring Fitz] Those screws have got kids of their own. They're gonna leave your cell door open, they're gonna turn their back, then the lads'll be in, and they won't be there to shake your hand. Do you know what I'm saying?
Fitz: [to Beck] You thought you were gay.
DS Jimmy Beck: [to Fitz] Will you shut it?
Fitz: You loved that boy.
DS Jimmy Beck: You are talking crap!
Fitz: It kept you awake at night. "Am I queer? Am I queer? The girls talk to me, they must see it in me. The boys ignore me. I'll prove I'm not queer." How do you prove you're not queer? You pick a fight. Who do you fight? Whose face do you smash to a pulp? The boy you loved.
DS Jimmy Beck: Bollocks!
[to Cassidy]
DS Jimmy Beck: He's done this before. He looks in there...
[Points to Fitz's chest]
DS Jimmy Beck: and in there...
[Points to Fitz's head]
DS Jimmy Beck: something sick, something twisted. And because HE'S felt it, because HE'S thought it, he thinks we all have. But we haven't. Some of us are normal!
Fitz: [Sarcastically] Ha!

[Fitz and Bilborough are arguing about charging Cassidy]
DS Jimmy Beck: Look, Fitz, why don't you just piss of, eh? Just piss off and give us a rest. I've had to put up with you all bloody night and the novelty is wearing a bit thin! D'you know what I mean?
Fitz: Why don't you just button your baldy lip?


"Cracker: Men Should Weep: Part 1 (#2.7)" (1994)
DCI Charlie Wise: Keep your opinions to yourself. You've already upset a fellow officer.
DS Jimmy Beck: Who?
DCI Charlie Wise: So just keep your mouth shut.
DS Jimmy Beck: Who've I upset?
DCI Charlie Wise: It doesn't matter.
DS Jimmy Beck: I'm sorry, sir, but it does. Someone's complained about me, yeah?
DCI Charlie Wise: Yeah.
DS Jimmy Beck: Penhaligon?
DCI Charlie Wise: No.
DS Jimmy Beck: I don't believe you.
DCI Charlie Wise: Tough.
DS Jimmy Beck: DCI Billborough would've never allowed this. A copper going behind her mate's back?
DCI Charlie Wise: I'm not Billborough!
DS Jimmy Beck: [Sarcastically] No, sir.
DCI Charlie Wise: Jimmy, don't push your luck.
DS Jimmy Beck: DCI Billborough always encouraged us to speak our minds.
DCI Charlie Wise: Oh, piss off.
[Jimmy pauses]
DCI Charlie Wise: Piss off!
DS Jimmy Beck: [Sarcastically] Sir!
[Beck leaves the room]

DCI Charlie Wise: "If it were up to me, I'd give you a medal." You said that?
DS Jimmy Beck: No, sir.
DCI Charlie Wise: I don't believe you. The man's a criminal, he put...
DS Jimmy Beck: No jury's gonna convict him!
DCI Charlie Wise: ...a fellow human being into hospital.
DS Jimmy Beck: A pervert, sir! Not a human being!
DCI Charlie Wise: A human being! Now would you like to wait in my office? I'll talk to you there! Wait in my office.

DS Jimmy Beck: [to Penhaligon] Are you accusing me of rape?


"Cracker: The Big Crunch: Part 1 (#2.4)" (1994)
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: You're kind of like a doctor, aren't you?
DS Jimmy Beck: You've lost me.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: You tend to bury your mistakes.

[Dean almost looks at Beck through his fingers again]
DS Jimmy Beck: Do that one more bloody time and I'll chop them off!


"Cracker: To Say I Love You: Part 1 (#1.3)" (1993)
[Fitz tells Bilborough that they previously had Sean]
DCI David Bilborough: You had him in custody!
DS Jimmy Beck: For taking and driving away, sir! That's all!
DCI David Bilborough: Fitz recommended a psychiatric!
DS Jimmy Beck: I don't recall that, sir! Did he put it in writing?
DCI David Bilborough: [to Penhaligon] You were there.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I don't recall, sir.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [Quitely] Hell hath no fury.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: If that conversation did take place, Dr. Fitzgerald would have every right to say "I told you so". He's obviously dying to say "I told you so", so let's just assume...
DCI David Bilborough: THAT'S ENOUGH!
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Let's hear him say it! We're the ones who've lost a friend, but to Hell with that because Dr. Fitzgerald wants to say "I told you so"!
DCI David Bilborough: You finished?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I can recall no such conversation, sir.
[Fitz leaves the room]


"Cracker: One Day a Lemming Will Fly: Part 1 (#1.6)" (1993)
Francis Bates: I saw a man jogging, that's all.
DS Jimmy Beck: Your girlfriend didn't mention a jogger.
Francis Bates: She was in the car. I was having a pee.
DCI Bilborough: Can you describe him?
Francis Bates: Thirty-odd, average height. It was dark.
DS Jimmy Beck: Nothing else?
Francis Bates: Tracksuit top with a hood. I got back into the car, we started to mess around. She took off. I chased her for a bit.
DCI Bilborough: Chased her?
Francis Bates: She likes that kind of thing.
DCI Bilborough: What kind of thing?
Francis Bates: Rough. We were just about to... we were just about to start when we saw it.
DCI Bilborough: A thirteen-year-old boy.
Francis Bates: I didn't know who it was, how old he was. We just ran.
DCI Bilborough: You left a thirteen-year-old boy swinging from a tree.
Francis Bates: She... she's married... I'm married, I've got kids...
DCI Bilborough: You could have phoned anonymously.
Francis Bates: We did.
DCI Bilborough: SHE did, twelve hours later. You left his parents clutching at straws for twelve hours. If it'd been left up to you, you wouldn't have phoned at all. Your Mrs finding about your bit on the side, that means more to you than the death of a child.
[He stands up angrily]
DCI Bilborough: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, WHAT KIND OF A MAN ARE YOU?
DS Jimmy Beck: Hey, hey, hey!
DCI Bilborough: He could have been alive! Didn't that enter your head? He could have been alive! You could have saved him!
DS Jimmy Beck: We've got what we want, alright?
DCI Bilborough: Human nature! If a child's in trouble, you don't go away from him, you go TO him! Human bloody nature! If you don't do that, you're not human, you're some kind of bloody animal! We were there. We were there, waiting with them! You tosspot! You prick! You bloody animal! Twelve bloody hours and then they told you, you prick!