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Quotes for
Terry (Character)
from "Reno 911!" (2003)

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Reno 911!: Miami (2007)
Terry: Your mom's a ukulele.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, when you're here, you're an ambassador for Reno.
Terry: Heavy on the assador!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Terry, we're in no mood for your hijinx. Are you getting on the bus or not?
Terry: I'm not getting on that bus. A: it smells like farts. B: I've got my own jet that I got for Flagday to take me back home. So you wanna ride in the fart-mobile or do you wanna ride with me?

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Thats not the only thing you're on. What else are you on, Terry?
Terry: I'm on fucking crack, yo!

Terry: I'm on wheels yo!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: God Terry, what are you covered in?
Terry: Oh that's... Apple Martini lube.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: We got a call about lewd behavior on the boardwalk and you the only thing I see around here that could qualify as lewd.
Terry: How is this... I'm not lewd at all... I don't even know what... lube or lewd?

Terry: I just flew in. I'm recording an album. It's called Terrys' South Bitch Live: Fuck You Dad, and it drops in 2009.

"Reno 911!: Jones Gets Suspended (#1.5)" (2003)
Deputy Travis Junior: So, you know why we're here?
Terry Bernadino: Why? Was there a fire?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You've been chargin' three bucks, you run up when the car is at the red light, and you give a H.J. during the red light.
Terry Bernadino: What? Oh my god, that sounds... That's not something that I would ever do.
Deputy Travis Junior: No, except we've got about...
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: We got about 38 photos of you and that's only last night.
Terry Bernadino: Well, I can see how you would think that... but I sell oranges.
Deputy Travis Junior: You sell oranges?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You sell oranges?
Terry Bernadino: Mmhm!
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: I'll take some.
Deputy Travis Junior: Yeah, I'd like some oranges, too.
Terry Bernadino: I've sold out, I've sold out of my oranges... I run out and people are like Beep Beep, I go okay, and they... they're driving and I just put it in their laps.
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Well...
Deputy Travis Junior: I don't know about that.
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You put an orange in their laps? Come on, Terry, we're going...
Terry Bernadino: I can't do that, I have to call my girlfriend... Listen, I don't even know what you're talking about.
Deputy Travis Junior: [Begins tugging Terry away on his roller skates] We're talking about you giving hand jobs at three bucks a pop at this red light up here. That's what we're talking about.
Terry Bernadino: Okay, okay. A hand job is still a job, okay?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Come on, easy does it. Xanadu it right into the car, now.
Terry Bernadino: You Xana-don't it!
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Did he just say " Xana-don't it" to me?
Deputy Travis Junior: I think so.