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[after escaping the Russian Space Station explosion
] Freddy Noonan
: Pretty intense, huh? Lev Andropov
: That's why I told you "touch nothing". But you're bunch of cowboys!
: Don't touch my uncle! You know? He's a genius of my family.
: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel? Lev Andropov
: No, I never saw Star Wars.
Colonel William Sharp
: It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws. Rockhound
: I say we all stay and die.
[pause, everyone looks at Rockhound
: But that's me. AJ
: I'll draw. Let's draw. Harry
: Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it. Chick
: Well, I can't live with that sort of thing. Lev Andropov
: Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right? Lev Andropov
: Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man who did not volunteer! No way! Bear
: Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance. Rockhound
: Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like this responsibility. Harry
: All right. All right. Rockhound
: I can do it! Harry
: Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on. Chick
: I ain't drawin' against you, Harry. Harry
: Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it.
[They draw straws
: Just gimme this thing. Lev Andropov
: [Lev looks at the straw he has drawn
] Is this good, or bad?
[A.J. has drawn the short straw
: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.
: It's stuck, yes? Watts
: Back off! You don't know the components! Lev Andropov
] Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!
: This is great. We just happen to run into the Grand Canyon on the asteroid. Lev Andropov
: I told you, you took wrong way, wrong road. A.J.
: What? What road? Do you see any roads around here? Lev Andropov
: You know what, I do not have much pleasure being near God's ear, but you think this is looking good or what? A.J.
: Lev, why don't you just do humanity a favor and just shut the hell up?
: I'm stepping outside. A.J.
: You're-you're going outside? Lev Andropov
: I am the only certified astronaut. And I'm saving your American ass!
: This is how we fix problem in the Russian space station!
[hits panel with tool
: Now I'm really a Russian hero!
[A.J, Lev, and Bear are making the canyon jump and Lev is flying outside on the armadillo trying to fix it
] Lev Andropov
: I'm sorry A.J. I was way off on the odds!
: He used to make the tip of the bomb. The thing that finds, uh, New York or Washington, you know?
: Welcome everybody !
: Welcome home, astronauts.