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Quotes for
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon (Character)
from "Cracker" (1993)

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"Cracker: To Be a Somebody: Part 1 (#2.1)" (1994)
Fitz: Are you racist, Panhandle?
Penhaligon: No.
Fitz: You're lying.
Penhaligon: I'm not. I despise all things Scottish, of course, but there's a reason for that.
Fitz: Your language is white, your culture is white, job's white, and it's got no effect on you whatsoever. You're totally impervious to all that, is that what you're saying, Panhandle?
Penhaligon: Yes.
Fitz: You're lying.

Fitz: Can I come in?
Penhaligon: I'd let in Oliver Reed before you, Fitz!

Penhaligon: Can you think of anyone who would want to kill your father?
Razia Ali: [Bitterly] Several million - all of them white!

Penhaligon: [to Fitz] You're an emotional bloody rapist.

Penhaligon: He's not a serial killer.
Clare Moody: What?
Penhaligon: He's got to kill five times before he's classified as a serial killer.
Clare Moody: [Sarcastically] Why don't you make us all a cup of tea?

[Discussing Albie's possible connection to Shahid Ali]
Penhaligon: He's on the right bus route.
DS Jimmy Beck: He's been off sick for months. He's got cancer.
Penhaligon: Did you check?
DS Jimmy Beck: Yes.
Penhaligon: With the employer?
DS Jimmy Beck: He showed me the letters from the hospital. Don't teach your grandmother how to suck eggs.
[Penhaligon picks the telephone up]
DS Jimmy Beck: He's got a cat and kittens, for God's sake. He wouldn't hurt a fly.
[Later, on the phone with Albie's employer]
Penhaligon: You're sure? Thank you.
[Hangs up]
Penhaligon: He hasn't missed work for the past two years.

Razia Ali: We've been attacked dozens of times by skinheads, you've never lifted a finger. Once our people attack them, you swamp the area with police.
Penhaligon: For your own protection.
Razia Ali: I don't believe you!
[Razia and her mother briefly converse in Urdu]
Penhaligon: Your mother wants you to help us.
Razia Ali: You speak Urdu?
Penhaligon: No.
Razia Ali: [to Fitz] You?
Fitz: No.
Razia Ali: She wants me to throw you out.
Fitz: You're lying.
Razia Ali: I'd like you to go, please.
Fitz: I understand why you're lying.
Razia Ali: I'd like you to go, please.
Fitz: I understand your anger and your grief.
Razia Ali: I'd like you to go, please!
Fitz: Shall I tell you a secret?
Razia Ali: I'd prefer you to leave.
Fitz: I'm a racist.
Razia Ali: [Sarcastically] Pause for effect?

DCI David Bilborough: [Panhandle is refusing to contact Fitz after Nolan's murder] Are you embarrassed?
Penhaligon: Yes.
DCI David Bilborough: What's embarrassment compared to the grief that two families are suffering?
Penhaligon: That's not fair!

Penhaligon: What happened to your nose?
Fitz: Skinhead gave me a piece of his mind.

Fitz: [to Panhandle] Do you know what a normal psychologist will say? Possibly, he'll say that the killer is white, unskilled, a fascist, a football supporter and who lives local. Then, you will realise he's a prick!
[Later, at Shahid Ali's murder scene]
Professor Nolan: Doesn't appear that anything's been stolen. I guess you were right to consider a racist motive. It's a classic disorganised murder. And I suppose he's white, unskilled, possibly part of a far-right extremist group...
Penhaligon: ...a football supporter and he lives local.
Professor Nolan: [Smiling, as if surprised] Yes.


"Cracker: Men Should Weep: Part 1 (#2.7)" (1994)
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: [From behind a door] I want to be alone.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Greta Garbo?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Before my time.

DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Beck raped me, sir.
DCI Charlie Wise: I never heard that.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Detective Sergeant Beck raped me, sir.
DCI Charlie Wise: You've got evidence?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: He smokes, he drinks whiskey, he wears the right kind of aftershave, and he handled the slides.
DCI Charlie Wise: That's not evidence.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: He's destroyed the evidence!

DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Do you think he should be on this case?
DCI Charlie Wise: Jimmy Beck?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Shouldn't we get someone a little more sensitive? Atilla the Hun, maybe?
DCI Charlie Wise: You'd go off the case before Beck, love.

DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: You're dead, Jimmy.


"Cracker: Brotherly Love: Part 1 (#3.1)" (1995)
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: What do you want from me?
Judith Fitzgerald: Can I have what's left of my husband now that you're finished with him?

DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I'm going to get promotion, Jimmy... DI... I'm going to have you running around like a blue-arsed fly. I'll make your life a misery.

DCI Charlie Wise: [Following an argument with the Chief Super] We're letting David Harvey go.
[They all groan]
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: He's not the first one to get off Scot free, Jimmy.
DS Jimmy Beck: Do you want him punished?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: You bloody hypocrite!
DS Jimmy Beck: Do you want him punished? He's guilty, so you MUST want him punished!
D.C. Alan Temple: For God's sake, let her go!
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Just piss off, Jimmy!
DS Jimmy Beck: I just want to hear whether or not you want him punished!
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [In Scouse accent] Hey, calm down, calm down.
DS Jimmy Beck: And you just stay out of this and all, right?
D.C. Alan Temple: [Getting Jimmy by the arm] What is wrong with you?
DS Jimmy Beck: Get off!
[to Penhaligon]
DS Jimmy Beck: He's guilty, right? And I'll do it. I'll do it. I just want to hear you say "Yes" or bloody "No"!
DCI Charlie Wise: Aye aye!
DS Jimmy Beck: Look, I just want her to answer the question!
DCI Charlie Wise: Who the hell do you think you are? Jeremy bloody Paxman?
[Jimmy storms out]


"Cracker: To Say I Love You: Part 1 (#1.3)" (1993)
[Fitz and Penhaligon reconstruct the events at the scene of a rape in an alley]
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: He steps out. He comes down. Bang, bang, bang. Cormack drops down. He grabs his accomplice by the hand. They start running up the alley. Do you remember the soldiers coming back from the Falkands?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Just about.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Remember all those women who lined the quays, waving their knickers and their bras in the air? Patriotism, no. Lust! Some of those men had killed, and those women wanted them. What is death, Panhandle?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: The finest aphrodisiac in the world, Dr Fitzgerald.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Right. Now there, a button off a pair of Levis. Somebody undid his trousers in a hurry. There, there's long strands of hair. So what happens is... They run up the alley. They stumble and they fall. They help each other up. They're frightened. But they're turned on too. So - 'scuse me - he pins her to the wall, he tears at his trousers, the button goes flying. And they have sex. Great sex. The earth doesn't just move, it registers 8.9 on the Richter Scale. Mass evacuation of Southern California time. Rip-roaring, rivetting, shaking, shuddering sex.
DCI David Bilborough: You're sick.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: 8.9?
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: Give or take a tremor, yeah.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I'd sooner watch Arsenal.

[Fitz tells Bilborough that they previously had Sean]
DCI David Bilborough: You had him in custody!
DS Jimmy Beck: For taking and driving away, sir! That's all!
DCI David Bilborough: Fitz recommended a psychiatric!
DS Jimmy Beck: I don't recall that, sir! Did he put it in writing?
DCI David Bilborough: [to Penhaligon] You were there.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I don't recall, sir.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [Quitely] Hell hath no fury.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: If that conversation did take place, Dr. Fitzgerald would have every right to say "I told you so". He's obviously dying to say "I told you so", so let's just assume...
DCI David Bilborough: THAT'S ENOUGH!
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Let's hear him say it! We're the ones who've lost a friend, but to Hell with that because Dr. Fitzgerald wants to say "I told you so"!
DCI David Bilborough: You finished?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I can recall no such conversation, sir.
[Fitz leaves the room]


"Cracker: True Romance: Part 1 (#3.6)" (1995)
Judith Fitzgerald: Did you believe Fitz when he said he loved you?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: No.
Judith Fitzgerald: Why not?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: He always went back to you.


"Cracker: One Day a Lemming Will Fly: Part 1 (#1.6)" (1993)
DCI Bilborough: I'm sorry.
DS Penhaligon: It's all right.
DCI Bilborough: It's not all right.
DS Penhaligon: It is. It's all right.
DCI Bilborough: It's not all right. It's not all bloody right. Would you stop patronizing me, Pan?
DS Penhaligon: Right. I thought you were gobshite in there, sir.


"Cracker: The Mad Woman in the Attic: Part 1 (#1.1)" (1993)
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: You've got me for one week.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I had pleurisy once - for two.


"Cracker: Best Boys: Part 1 (#3.4)" (1995)
[Words flashing through Penhaligon's mind]
DS Jimmy Beck: Do you fantasize about rape?
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: When she does, it doesn't include violence.
DS Jimmy Beck: Do you fantasize about rape?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Sometimes. Yes, I do.
[Beck laughs]
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: I've been raped, sir.
D.C.I. Charlie Wise: I never heard that.
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Detective Sergeant Beck raped me, sir.
DS Jimmy Beck: Are you accusing me of rape?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: Yes.
DS Jimmy Beck: Let's have this out in front of the boss.
D.C.I. Charlie Wise: Get me some evidence, and I'll give you all the help I can.
DS Jimmy Beck: Do you believe I could rape you?
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: You're dead, Jimmy.


"Cracker: The Big Crunch: Part 1 (#2.4)" (1994)
DS Jane 'Panhandle' Penhaligon: You can spot a guilty cop in a football crowd and not notice World War 3 in your living room.
Dr. Eddie 'Fitz' Fitzgerald: [Sarcastically] Oh, you've seen my living room.