Patti Randall
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Quotes for
Patti Randall (Character)
from That Darn Cat! (1965)

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That Darn Cat! (1965)
Patti Randall: Now, just a minute, Gregory, D.C.'s a cat! He can't help his instincts. He's a hunter, just like you are. Only he's not stupid enough to stand out in the pouring rain all day!

Gregory Benson: [Patti answers the door to him, when making an intrusive knock] Okay, where's the duck?
Patti Randall: I beg your pardon?
Gregory Benson: [Gregory Benson then shouted extremely loud saying] I want my duck!
Patti Randall: Your duck?
Gregory Benson: If you please...
Patti Randall: I'm sorry, Gregory, but I really don't know what you are talking about.
Gregory Benson: Ooh! Where is that sneaky, miserable guttersnipe! He's got my duck!
Patti Randall: What duck?

Ingrid Randall: Say!
Patti Randall: Shush!
Ingrid Randall: What do you mean shush? This is my room!
Zeke Kelso: Patti! I'm gonna have to ask you to quiet down, and that goes for you too!
[first meeting of Zeke Kelso & Ingrid Randall]
Zeke Kelso: Why, hello there.
Ingrid Randall: Who are you! How do you get off telling me to be quiet in my own room!
[Zeke Kelso then pulled out his FBI badge, to show to show it to Ingrid Marshall]
Ingrid Randall: What's this thing supposed to be, I don't know anything about that stuff.

Patti Randall: Canoe, this is just a wild idea, but has it occurred to you that there might be more to life than just surfing and eating?
Canoe Henderson: Like what?
Patti Randall: Forget it, I just realized I was talking to myself.

Patti Randall: Couldn't we just once see a nice quiet movie where boy meets girl, they have problems which aren't too weird, they fall in love and live happily ever after?
Canoe Henderson: Now, why would you wanna see a lot of unhealthy stuff like that?
Patti Randall: I don't know. Maybe just for once, I'd like to go to a movie where I don't get seasick.
Canoe Henderson: All right, I'll make you a deal. Well, you go with me to the drive-in Thursday night, and next week I'll take you to one of those happily-ever-after clambakes. Deal?
Patti Randall: I guess.
Canoe Henderson: Where's the 'thing' playing?
Patti Randall: Oh, who knows, maybe they don't even make movies like that anymore.
Canoe Henderson: Well sure, and you want to know why? Because people don't wanna be depressed by all that slop.

Patti Randall: Watch the crumbs, will you fellas?
Canoe Henderson: [Canoe then immitated Patti, to DC] Pass the word, watch the crumbs.
[Canoe then sweept the crumbs under the couch, and wiped his hands off, on the Randall's drapes]

Patti Randall: Gadzooks, you're bleeding!
Zeke Kelso: Oh, it's nothing, probably just an artery.

Zeke Kelso: Do you have any regulars, or people going in and out of the house all the time?
Patti Randall: Father always complained that we were running a rehab center for punch-drunk juveniles.

Canoe Henderson: Oh, I don't know what's gotten into me, I'm all churned up inside!
Patti Randall: I'll tell you what. Why don't you go over to the snack-stand and get yourself a nice pizza. to settle your stomach.
Canoe Henderson: [whining tone] I don't feel like a pizza!
Patti Randall: Well, for Pete's sake, will you stop grumbling and watch the movie?
Canoe Henderson: [Canoe lost his temper] Oh, all these surfing pictures look alike!

Canoe Henderson: [at Patti's front door, he suddenly hears a loud shriek of a man] What was that?
Patti Randall: What was what?
Canoe Henderson: That blood-curdling scream.
Patti Randall: Canoe, will you just go?
Canoe Henderson: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't realize I was butting in on a murder.

Patti Randall: [Canoe was knocking on Patti's front door, while Zeke was being pawprinting DC] Oh, Canoe!
Zeke Kelso: [Zeke Kelso then thought Patti asked "Can you"? after hearing Patti say Canoe's name] Can I what?

Patti Randall: [Patti just discovered Margaret Miller's wristwatch, around DC's neck] D.C.'s wearing a wristwatch.
Ingrid Randall: What's the matter? Well, well, what will that sweet innocent cat be bringing home next? The Hope Diamond, I imagine.

Patti Randall: [Inkie is Patti's nickname to Ingrid] Have a nice day, at the office, Inkie.
Ingrid Randall: Patti, you've got that terrible "butter-won't-melt-in-your-mouth" expression. I know what's going on, in your tiny little mind and I absolutely forbid it.

Patti Randall: [Patty is inside Hofstedder's Jewelry Store, just before she called the FBI as 'Daphne Hofstedder' with accented voice] Now, I know you very well, and you're a sweet man and you would never forgive yourself if something terrible happened to Margaret Miller, and it could. I can just see it in the newspaper headlines "Mister Hofstedder, He Could Have Saved Her".

Patti Randall: [accent] This is Daphne Hofstedder speaking, of Hofstedder's Jewelry Store, 1833 West Mapleton Avenue.
Zeke Kelso: Yes, Miss Hofstedder, how may I help you?
Patti Randall: [accent] I heard you were looking for information, concerning a certain watch.
Zeke Kelso: Yes, we are.
Patti Randall: [accent] Well, a couple of weeks ago, a woman came into the shop, to buy a band, for her watch. Uh, what was the name? Oh, Miss Margaret Miller.
Zeke Kelso: Margaret Miller? Will you describe this band you sold to Miss Miller?
Patti Randall: [accent] Seventeen jewels, rather rectangular shaped, with raised filigree... things on the face.
Zeke Kelso: Rectangular with raised filigree. Miss Hofstedder, may I ask why you haven't come forward earlier, with this information?
Patti Randall: [accent] Well, I was away on my holiday... to Mexico... on a bus.
Zeke Kelso: Will you be in town, Miss Hofstedder?
Patti Randall: [accent] Yes. I'll be here anytime you want to talk to me, on the phone.
Zeke Kelso: Thank you very much for your information. Goodbye.
[Zeke Kelso then hung up telephone]
Zeke Kelso: [Patti's phone call restarted Zeke Kelso's temporarily stopped job of following DC Randall that lead to the rescue of kidnapped banker Margaret Miller, later in the same evening and solved the FBI issue]

Patti Randall: [Patti, to FBI Supervisor Newton, while he is at the Marshall's house one evening, speaking of DC] He's really diabolically clever.
[DC are initials of Darn Cat! and Diabolically Clever!]

Patti Randall: We have to cooperate.
Ingrid Randall: Of course we do but the FBI has gotten along all these years without using my room as a base of operation. Right? Now, I want Mr. Whoever-he-is, and his ham radio or whatever that is, out of my room by the time I get home, or I'm going to become very difficult.

Patti Randall: [Patti quickly walks out her front door] Do you want to miss Night of the Surfer, starring Git Gladsby, "King of the Roaring Surf"?


That Darn Cat (1997)
Patti Randall: God, I'm really good. Those "Charlie's Angels" reruns are starting to pay off.

Judy Randall: Why are you always in black?
Patti Randall: Because it matches my soul.

Agent Zeke Kelso: [Rips the duct tape off Patti's mouth]
Patti Randall: Zeke, you smell really bad.
Agent Zeke Kelso: Happy to see you too Patti.
Patti Randall: What happened?
Agent Zeke Kelso: Got into a fight with a dumpster and lost.
Patti Randall: Oh.