Mary Morstan
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Quotes for
Mary Morstan (Character)
from "Sherlock" (2010)

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"Sherlock: His Last Vow (#3.3)" (2014)
[Last lines]
Mary Morstan: But he's dead. I mean, you told me he was dead, Moriarty.
Dr. John Watson: Absolutely. Blew his own brains out.
Mary Morstan: So how can he be back?
Dr. John Watson: Well if he is, he'd better wrap up warm. There's an east wind coming.

Bill Wiggins: All right, Shezza?
Dr. John Watson: "Shezza"?
Sherlock Holmes: I was undercover.
Mary Morstan: Seriously, "Shezza" though?
Dr. John Watson: We're not going to home, we're going to Barts. I'm calling Molly.
Mary Morstan: Why?
Dr. John Watson: [while holding up phone to ear] Because Sherlock Holmes needs to pee in a jar.

Sherlock Holmes: Right here, right now, what... is... she?
Dr. John Watson: [sniffs] Okay. Your way. Always your way.
[clears throat, places a chair in the middle of the room]
Dr. John Watson: Sit.
Mary Morstan: Why?
Dr. John Watson: Because that's where they sit - the people who come in here with their stories - the... the clients. That's all you are now, Mary. You're a client. This is where you sit and talk, and this is where we sit and listen, then we decide if we want you or not.
[All sit in their designated chairs]

Mary Morstan: People like Magnussen should be killed. That's why there are people like me.

Mary Morstan: People like Magnussen are meant to be killed, that's why there are people like me.

[John goes to the house of crackheads with a tyre lever]
Mary Morstan: It is a tiny bit sexy.
Dr. John Watson: Yeah, I know.

"Sherlock: The Sign of Three (#3.2)" (2014)
Dr. John Watson: Sherlock, any chance of, uh... an end date for this speech? Gotta cut the cake.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, can't stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once, Vatican Cameos.
Mary Morstan: What did he say? What doess that mean?
Dr. John Watson: attle stations, someone's going to die.

Mary Morstan: Solve it and he'll open the door, like he said.
Sherlock Holmes: I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now?
Mary Morstan: Because it matters now!
Sherlock Holmes: What are you talking about? What's she talking about? Get your wife under control.
Dr. John Watson: She's right.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, *you've* changed.
Dr. John Watson: No, she is. Shut up. You are not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You're a drama queen. Now, there is a man in there about to die, the game is on,
Dr. John Watson: *solve it*!

Dr. John Watson: The telegrams.
Sherlock Holmes: Right, um... Mm... First things first. Telegrams. Well, they're not actually telegrams. We just call them telegrams, I don't know why. Wedding tradition... Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently.
Sherlock Holmes: [reading] "To Mr. and Mrs. Watson. So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes. Mike Stamford."
Dr. John Watson: Ah, Mike...
Mary Morstan: Aw.
Sherlock Holmes: [next telegram] "To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big..."
Sherlock Holmes: "... big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted."
Sherlock Holmes: [next telegram] "Mary, Lots of love...", Oh!
Dr. John Watson: Yeah?
Sherlock Holmes: [with precise diction] "... poppet."
[John and Mary giggle]
Sherlock Holmes: [next telegram] "Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this."
[Mary's expression darkens momentarily]
Dr. John Watson: Hey, hmm?
Mary Morstan: Yep.
Sherlock Holmes: [shuffling rapidly through remaining telegrams] Um, "Special day." "Very special day." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond.

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting.
Mary Morstan: Deduction?
Sherlock Holmes: Increased appetite.
Mary Morstan: [flashback to earlier] I'm starving.
Sherlock Holmes: Change of taste perception.
Mary Morstan: [flashback to earlier] Ugh, I chose this wine. It's bloody awful.
Sherlock Holmes: You were sick this morning. You assumed it was just wedding doubts. You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. All the signs are there.
Mary Morstan: The signs?
Sherlock Holmes: The signs of three.
Mary Morstan: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test.

[last lines]
Dr. John Watson: This isn't a waltz, is it?
Mary Morstan: No.
Sherlock Holmes: Don't worry, Mary, I have been tutoring him.
Dr. John Watson: He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed curtains. Mrs. Hudson came in one time. Don't know how those rumors started.

Sherlock Holmes: Now, serviettes.
[pulls tray with two fancily folded napkins out from under coffe table]
Sherlock Holmes: Swan or Sydney Opera House?
Mary Morstan: Where did you learn to do that?
Sherlock Holmes: Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation.
Mary Morstan: Fibbing, Sherlock.
Sherlock Holmes: I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of...
Mary Morstan: I'm not John. I can tell when you're fibbing.
Sherlock Holmes: Okay. I learnt it on YouTube.

"Sherlock: The Abominable Bride (#4.0)" (2016)
Dr. John Watson: [after DI Lestrade's recount of recent events] Extraordinary!
Mary Morstan: Impossible!
Sherlock Holmes: Superb! Suicide as street theatre; murder by corpse. Lestrade, you're spoiling us.

Mary Morstan: I'm part of a campaign, you know.
DI Lestrade: Huh? Campaign?
Mary Morstan: Votes for women.
DI Lestrade: And you, are you for or against?
Mary Morstan: Get out.

Mycroft Holmes: I have access to the top level of the MI5 archive.
Mary Morstan: [already looking at that archive via her phone] Yep, that's where I'm looking.
Mycroft Holmes: What do you think of MI5 security?
Mary Morstan: I think it would be a good idea.

Mary Morstan: I've been making enquiries. Mr. Holmes asked me.
Dr. John Watson: [to Sherlock] Holmes, how could you?
Mary Morstan: No, not him. The clever one.

Dr. John Watson: [to Sherlock] I'm taking Mary home.
Mary Morstan: You're what?
Dr. John Watson: Mary's taking me home.
Mary Morstan: Better.

"Sherlock: The Empty Hearse (#3.1)" (2014)
Mrs. Hudson: Oh, I'm really pleased, Mary. Have you set a date?
Mary Morstan: Uh, well, we thought May.
Mrs. Hudson: Ah, a spring wedding.
Mary Morstan: Yeah. Well, once we've actually got engaged.
Dr. John Watson: Yeah.
Mary Morstan: We were interrupted last time.
Dr. John Watson: Yeah.
DI Lestrade: Well, I can't wait.
Mary Morstan: You will be there, Sherlock?
Sherlock Holmes: Weddings - not really my thing.

Mary Morstan: Oh, no, you're...
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, yes.
Mary Morstan: Oh, my god.
Sherlock Holmes: Not quite.

Mary Morstan: God, I had six months of bristly kisses for me and then His Nibbs turns up.
Dr. John Watson: I don't shave for Sherlock Holmes.
Mary Morstan: [sighs] Oh, you should put that on a T-shirt.

Dr. John Watson: One word, Sherlock, that is *all* I would have needed! One word to let me know that you were alive!
Sherlock Holmes: I've nearly been in contact so many times, but... I worried that, you know, you might say something indiscreet.
Dr. John Watson: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, you know, let the cat out of the bag.
Dr. John Watson: Oh, so this is *my* fault?
Mary Morstan: [Mary starts laughing] Oh, God.
Dr. John Watson: Why am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? The only one reacting like a human being.
Sherlock Holmes: Overreacting.
Dr. John Watson: [Yelling] Overreacting!
Mary Morstan: John!
Dr. John Watson: Overreacting! So you fake your own death and you waltz in here, large as bloody life, but I'm not supposed to have a problem with that, no, because Sherlock Holmes thinks it's a perfectly okay thing to do!
Sherlock Holmes: Shut up, John! I don't want everyone knowing I'm still alive!
Dr. John Watson: Oh, so it's still a secret, is it?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, it's still a secret.
[looks around the crowded shop they are in]
Sherlock Holmes: Promise you won't tell anyone.
Dr. John Watson: Swear to God!

Sherlock Holmes: [after being head-butted by John] I don't understand. I said I'm sorry, isn't that what you're supposed to do?
Mary Morstan: Gosh, you don't know anything about human nature, do you?
Sherlock Holmes: Hmm, nature? No. Human?
Sherlock Holmes: No.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Mary Morstan: It does seem a little far-fetched, though. Making all these grand assumptions based on such tiny details...
Sherlock Holmes: Mm, that's not quite right, is it? In fact, the little details are by far the most important.

[Watson and Mary enter Baker Street to find Holmes hanging from a noose]
Dr. John Watson: Don't worry, dear. Suicide is not in his repertoire. He's far too fond of himself for that.
[pokes Holmes sharply]
Dr. John Watson: Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes: [wakes up] Oh, good afternoon. I was attempting to determine the means by which Blackwood survived his execution - clearing your good name, as it were - but it had a surprisingly soporific effect, and I found myself carried off into the arms of Morpheus like a caterpillar in a cocoon.
[to Mary]
Sherlock Holmes: Good afternoon, dear.
Dr. John Watson: Get on with it, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, cleverly concealed in the hangman's knot was a hook... oh, my, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down.
Mary Morstan: John, shouldn't we help him down?
Dr. John Watson: No, no, I hate to cut him off mid-stream. Carry on.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, the executioner attached it to a harness which allowed the weight to be distributed around the waist and the neck to remain intact. Oh, lord, I can't feel my cheeks. Might we continue this at ground level?
Dr. John Watson: How did you manage it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: I managed it with braces, belts and a coat-hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is going, soon I'll be of no use to you at all.
Dr. John Watson: Worse things could happen.

Sherlock Holmes: There is a toxin, refined from the nectar of the rhododendron ponticum. It's quite infamous in the region of Turkey bordering the Black Sea for its ability to induce an apparently mortal paralysis. Enough to deceive even a medical mind as tenacious and well-trained as yours. It's known locally as...
Mary Morstan: [noticing] What's wrong with Gladstone?
Sherlock Holmes: ...mad honey disease. Oh, he's just demonstrating the very effect I've just described. He doesn't mind.

Mary Morstan: [Mary asks Holmes to make some deductions regarding herself] What can you tell about me?
Sherlock Holmes: You?
Dr. John Watson: I don't think that's...
Sherlock Holmes: I don't know if that's...
Dr. John Watson: Not at dinner.
Sherlock Holmes: Perhaps some other time.
Mary Morstan: I insist.
Sherlock Holmes: You insist?
Dr. John Watson: You remember we've discussed this.
Sherlock Holmes: [demanding] The lady insists.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
Mycroft Holmes: Good evening, Mrs Watson. I'm the other Holmes.
Mary Watson: You mean there's *two* of you? How marvelous! Could this evening get any better?

Mary Watson: I miss him too, in my own way.
Dr. John Watson: He would have wanted us to go to Brighton.
Mary Watson: He would have wanted to come with us.

[last lines]
Dr. John Watson: [upon receiving the oxygen mask as an indication that Holmes may be alive] Mary? Who delivered this parcel?
Mary Watson: [offscreen] The postman.
Dr. John Watson: [as he leaves the room] The usual chap or... did he look peculiar?

The Sign of Four: Sherlock Holmes' Greatest Case (1932)
Det. Insp. Atherly Jones: I want to know where the pearls are.
Dr. John H. Watson: Yes, where are they?
Mary Morstan: Small's taken them.
Dr. John H. Watson: Then they are at the bottom of the river where we can find them... so now you'll be so terribly rich, I can't even claim you as a friend, much less ask you...
Mary Morstan: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Sorry the jewels are so distasteful to you, Ms. Marston, but I have the pearls. I took them from Jonathan Small when we first came to grips. I didn't want them to get wet, so I'm afraid you'll have to have them back
Dr. John H. Watson: Amazing!
Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.

[last lines]
Mary Morstan: Please... ask me.
Dr. John H. Watson: Will you, um...
Mary Morstan: Yes!
[they embrace]
Sherlock Holmes: Amazing!
Dr. John H. Watson: Elementary, my dear Holmes, elementary.

Dr. John H. Watson: You're not frightened?
Mary Morstan: Terribly! But rather thrilled, too.

"Sherlock: The Lying Detective (#4.2)" (2017)
Dr. John Watson: I cheated on you, Mary. There was a woman on the bus, and I had a plastic daisy in my hair, I'd been playing with Rosie. And this girl just smiled at me. That's all it was, it was a smile. We texted, constantly. You want to know when? Every time you left the room - that's when. When you were feeding our daughter. When you were stopping her from crying - that's when. And that's all it was. Just texting. But I wanted more. And do you know something? I still do. I'm not the man you thought I was, I'm not that guy. I never could be. But that's the point.
[his voice breaks]
Dr. John Watson: That's the whole point. Who you thought I was... is the man who I want to be.
Mary Morstan: Well then, John Watson, get the hell on with it.
[John starts crying]

Mary Morstan: If you're watching this, I'm... probably dead. I'm giving you a case, Sherlock. Might be the hardest case of your career. When I'm... gone, if I'm gone, I need you to do something for me. Save John Watson. Save him, Sherlock. Save him. Don't think anyone else is going to save him, because there isn't anyone. It's up to you. Save him. But I do think you're going to need a little bit of help with that, because you're not exactly good with people, so here's a few things you need to know about the man we both love. And more importantly, what you're going to need to do to save him. John Watson never accepts help. Not from anyone, not ever. But here's the thing - he never refuses it. So, here's what you are going to do. You can't save John, because he won't let you. He won't allow himself to be saved. The only way to save John is to make him save you. Go to hell, Sherlock. Go right into hell and make it look like you mean it. Go and pick a fight with a bad guy, put yourself in harm's way. If he thinks you need him, I swear... he will be there.

"Sherlock: The Six Thatchers (#4.1)" (2017)
Mary Watson: Go to 'Hell', Sherlock.

Mary Watson: How the f...
Sherlock Holmes: Please Mary, there's a child present.

"Sherlock: The Final Problem (#4.3)" (2017)
Mary Watson: I know you two. And if I'm gone, I know what you could become, because I know who you really are: a junky who solves crimes to get high, and the doctor who never came home from the war. Will you listen to me? Who you really are, it doesn't matter. It's all about the legend, the stories, the adventures. There is a last refuge for the desperate, the unloved, the persecuted. There is a final court of appeal for everyone. When life gets too strange, too impossible, too frightening, there is always one last hope. When all else fails, there are two men sitting arguing in a scruffy flat like they've always been there, and they always will. The best and wisest men I have ever known, the Baker Street boys, Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson.