Freddie Benson
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Freddie Benson (Character)
from "iCarly" (2007)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"iCarly: iDon't Want to Fight (#1.17)" (2008)
Carly: I give glasses with feet girl an eight.
Freddie: I give her a nine.
Sam: Seven, but I give Freddy a negative two.
Freddie: Why?
Sam: Just for being you.

[Carly and Freddie listen to her stereo]
Freddie: I like this song.
[putting his arm around Carly]
Freddie: Pretty romantic, huh? You feeling the mood?
[a toilet flushes in the background]
Carly Shay: Yeah, I'm feeling the mood.

[Sam promises Carly concert tickets]
Carly: Well, that'd be awesome, but those tickets have been sold out for months.
Sam: You let me worry about that. I've got ways, Carly Shay. And do you know what else I've got?
Freddie: Pimples on your butt?
[Freddie and Sam glare at each other momentarily, then Freddie takes off]
Sam: He was smart to run.

Spencer: Look, in my life, I've learned a few things about girls.
Freddie: Like?...
Spencer: Like when you break up with them, they do not like it when you ask out their sisters. That will get you a fork in your arm.

Freddie: Our fans don't like it when best friends fight. Neither do I.
Carly Shay: Aw Sam, you're crying.
Sam: No, Freddie's just... such a dork it makes me emotional sometimes.

[on the iCarly webcast]
Freddie: Now usually I'm behind the camera...
Sam: Where you should be.

[on the iCarly webcast]
Freddie: See, Carly and Sam are in a big fight, and both girls think they're right.
Carly: I *am* right.
Sam: You *am* wrong.
Carly: You *am* obnoxious.


"iCarly: iPilot (#1.1)" (2007)
Carly: Cool you got a new cell phone.
Freddie Benson: You can have it!

Freddie Benson: I am over it, seriously, I'm in love with you, you just wanna be friends and I'm totally cool with living with that constant pain.
Carly: Oh god.

Sam: Hey look, you invited the doof.
Carly: Sam...
Freddie Benson: Aww man! I didn't know that was gonna be here.

Freddie Benson: Keep your hands off my AV equipment.
Sam: You mean I can't play with the white balance on your super-di-dupity camcorder?
Freddie Benson: Oh sure! Everybody jokes about the white balance until there skin tones go magenta.
Sam: [clears her throat] Carly will never love you.

Freddie Benson: [while being dragged from his apartment to Carly's] Ahh! Quit it Sam! Let go of my foot! Too much FRICTION! Let go! What is the matter with you!

Freddie Benson: [talking about iCarly] And you're gonna need a technical producer right? Set up the lights, audio, work the camera...
Sam: Awww... he wants to be our geek.
Freddie Benson: Gahh! You got a big mouth lady!

Sam: Thanks to our dorky friend Freddie...
Freddie Benson: That's disrespectful!


"iCarly: iHeart Art (#1.14)" (2008)
Freddie Benson: Hey, why did it take you guys so long to get home from school?
Sam Puckett: Because my mom had to stop at Save-Mart to pick up her ointment. Any more questions?

Freddie Benson: When I grow up, I wonder what kind of girl would want to marry me.
[Sam bites pillow to avoid insulting Freddie]
Freddie Benson: After I take a shower, my mom makes me sign a piece of paper promising that I shampooed twice.
[Sam throws herself on the floor, pounding her fists and kicking her legs]
Carly: [walks in] Should I call an ambulance?

Freddie Benson: So what did you say in your e-mail to get Joyner to come here?
Carly: It wasn't what I said. It was the pictures I attached of Spencer's sculptures.
Sam Puckett: Joyner liked them?
Carly: I guess. He said he wanted to come see 'em in person.
Freddie Benson: That is so cool!
Sam Puckett: You know what else is cool?
Freddie Benson: What?
Sam Puckett: Not you!

Freddie Benson: Anytime a chance comes along for you to insult me, you just gotta jump on it!
Carly: You really should be nicer to him.
Freddie Benson: Ha! She couldn't be nicer to me if she tried 'cause, she has no self control.
Sam Puckett: I have oodles of self control! I self control myself all the time!

Freddie Benson: Do you even know what Harry Joyner looks like?
Carly: Yeah, you know, he looks like a man. With a face, and... hair.
Sam Puckett: [sarcastically] Yeah, I have an uncle that looks a lot like that!

Sam Puckett: That dentist dude's really going to pay you $1000 for that?
Spencer: Paid, in advance.
Freddie Benson: Yeah!
Sam Puckett: Sweet!
Spencer: And since you guys helped me get my art career back,
[hands Sam money]
Spencer: $40 for you,
[hands Freddie money]
Spencer: $40 for you, and...
[walks across the room to hand Carly money]
Spencer: ... $41 for my little sister.
Carly: Aww. I'm special.


"iCarly: iPromote Techfoots (#1.18)" (2008)
Sam Puckett: Oh, sorry. Carly, Freddie, this is Sonya. My personal chef.
Sonya: Ya-Hoo!
Carly Shay: What?
Freddie: You hired a personal chef?
Sam Puckett: Well, my mom doesn't feed me.

Sam Puckett: Sonya, please make me a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato.
Sonya: Yes, Miss Sam.
Carly Shay: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato.
Sam Puckett: Make that two, please.
Sonya: Yes, Miss Sam.
Freddie: I like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato.
Sam Puckett: Tough nubs.

DAKA President: Well, you know when you put out a new shoe, they always have a few minor problems.
Sam Puckett: Minor?
Freddie: What would be a major problem?
Carly Shay: If they came to life in the middle of the night and ate your family?
DAKA President: [laughs] No. I live alone.

[on the iCarly webcast]
Carly Shay: And now, our technical producer, Freddie, will show you another cool thing about the Techfoots.
Freddie: Okay. If your computer's hard drive is cluttered with a bunch of files and music and "precious pictures" of family and friends, the Techfoot does an amazing thing with Wi-Fi techonology. See, you just sync the pedometer up to your computer, and...
[types something on his laptop and shows the dreaded blue-screen]
Freddie: ...it wipes out your entire hard drive! Isn't that great?


"iCarly: iReunite with Missy (#2.16)" (2009)
[Sam enters the studio after eating rancid chocolates]
Freddie Benson: Woah! You look horrible!
Sam Puckett: I'm sick.
[coughs heavily]
Sam Puckett: I feel like butt.

Freddie: Aw, butter!

[Sam tells Freddie that an old friend of Carly's is taking her friendship away]
Freddie Benson: You know, maybe Carly's right. Maybe you're just jealous of Missy.
Sam Puckett: Okay, just... forget it. Don't believe me.
[walks away]
Freddie Benson: Tell me one reason why I should believe you.
Sam Puckett: Because I came here. Have I ever come to you for help before? For anything?

Sam Puckett: This is worse than the time you dared me to lick the swing set.
Freddie Benson: I didn't dare you to lick the swing set. I said, "Sam, don't lick the swing set," you said, "Don't tell me what to do," punched me, and then licked the swing set.


"iCarly: iSell Penny Tees (#4.4)" (2010)
Sam Puckett: You remember these techfoots?
Carly Shay: Who woudn't be proud to wear these defective sneakers to school? The zoo!
Sam Puckett: ...or the funeral of the loved one.
Freddie Benson: iCarly is not responsible for damage caused to your feet, toes or the central nervous system.

Freddie Benson: [picks up a knife] Control, Freddie. Bad thoughts lead to bad actions.
[puts down knife]

Sam Puckett: Our fans are dying for these penny tees!
Freddie Benson: We could make a lot of cash.

[On the Sam Puckett Legal Defense Fund]
Freddie Benson: Together, we can keep Sam out of juvie.


"iCarly: iGoodbye (#6.13)" (2012)
[last lines]
Freddie Benson: And... we're clear.

[the gang are about to start the last iCarly show]
Freddie Benson: In five, four, three, two...
Carly Shay: I'm Carly!
Sam Puckett: I'm Sam! And this is a very special...
Freddie Benson: And I'm Freddie. Yeah, that's right. I interrupted and introduced myself. What are they gonna do, fire me?

Carly Shay: I'm leaving in a few minutes.
Freddie Benson: Yeah, I know. Better not be late, or your dad's gonna be wazzed off.
Carly Shay: You know, you don't have to take all your tech stuff home tonight.
Freddie Benson: Yeah, but I figured I might as well get a head start. Tomorrow, I promised Gibby I'd help him do some research on the proper care and feeding of weasels, so... I figured the sooner I get this equipment out of here, the sooner I can take it down to...
[Carly takes his hand and he stops talking. Then she leans in and kisses him. They have an awkward moment afterwards]
Carly Shay: So, I'll get my bags and take them downstairs.
Freddie Benson: Why don't I help you with those bags?
Carly Shay: Yeah, that'd be nice.
[when Carly turns around, Freddie throws his hands victoriously up in the air, knowing he finally succeeded in getting Carly to kiss him]


"iCarly: iSaved Your Life (#3.9)" (2010)
[Sam is trying to warn Freddie about dating Carly]
Freddie Benson: You just can't stand the idea of Carly and me as a couple.
Sam Puckett: Very true, it makes me want to puke up blood.

[from the extended version]
Mrs. Benson: I knew something like this would happen!
Freddie Benson: It was just a freak thing.
Mrs. Benson: Because you associate with freaks!
Freddie Benson: Carly and Sam aren't freaks!
[Mrs. Benson gives him a look]
Freddie Benson: Carly's not a freak!


"iCarly: iPie (#2.5)" (2008)
[a bear comes out of Freddie's apartment]
Sam Puckett: Oh my gosh, the bear ate Freddie! Bad bear!
[She hits Freddie, who falls down then gets back up]
Freddie Benson: Never do that again.
Sam Puckett: Don't tell me what to do.
[She hits Freddie again and he falls to the ground]

Freddie Benson: Hey, Stephanie! Watch this!
[Freddie smashes a pie in his face; Baby Stephanie laughs]
Freddie Benson: Yes! VICTORY!


"iCarly: iMove Out (#3.7)" (2009)
[Freddie's mother found his "apartment"]
Mrs. Benson: Actually, I think living on your own will be a positive thing for you. Perhaps you'll even...
[suddenly becomes demanding]
Mrs. Benson: You get up to your room this instant, Freddie Benson! I'm your mother and you will do as I say!
Freddie: No.
Mrs. Benson: [to Carly] I blame you.
Carly Shay: Me?
Mrs. Benson: You're the one who got Freddie interested in girls, and ever since then his boy chemistry's been all out of whack.
Freddie: Mom, I'm perfectly in whack.

[Sam devises a plan to destroy the Petographers]
Sam Puckett: They hit us, we hit 'em back... harder. That's the Seattle way.
Freddie: So, you mean we trash their studio?
Sam Puckett: No, Freddie, I mean we rub ourselves with sweet mustard and sing show tunes.


"iCarly: iRue the Day (#1.11)" (2007)
[Carly's show has suspicious technical difficulties]
Carly Shay: Freddie, what do you think went wrong?
Freddie: I'm not sure, but I'll bet my whole month's allowance that all my equipment is working perfectly.
Carly Shay: Ooh, you'd bet a whole eight bucks?
[Freddie hushes Carly]
Sam: Your mom only gives you eight bucks a month?
Freddie: She's afraid if she gives me more, I'll buy a bus ticket and leave her.
Carly Shay: That is so dumb.
Freddie: No, not really.

Sam: Wow, Freddie. I like seeing you get all feisty.
Freddie: That's the Freddie way.
Carly Shay: I thought the Freddie way was a jam on a toasted bagel.
Freddie: That's the Freddie breakfast way.


"iCarly: iGo One Direction (#6.2)" (2012)
Carly Shay: [returning from vacation to find Sam, Freddie, Gibby and T-Bo partying in the apartment] What is going on here?
Sam Puckett: I'm cooking steaks.
Freddie Benson: Playing video games.
T-Bo: I'm in a kiddie pool!
Gibby: Gibby!

Freddie Benson: I know what might motivate Harry to get out of bed and back on stage.
Sam Puckett: You think I should work him over with a butter sock?
Carly Shay: You know, I really, really don't.
Zayn Malik: [sounding surprised] Did she say a butter sock?
Liam Payne: [also surprised] Is that a sock?
Louis Tomlinson: [completing Liam's line] Full of butter?


"iCarly: iSaw Him First (#2.1)" (2008)
Sam: [Freddie walks in with a much deeper voice] Dude, why is your voice so deep?
Freddie: I dunno, puberty?

Sam: Why does your voice sound deeper?
Freddie: I dunno', puberty?


"iCarly: iWant to Date Freddie (#1.9)" (2007)
Freddie: I'm not even sure if I'm going on this date.
Sam: [with Carly] Yes you are!
Carly Shay: [with Sam] You're going!
Freddie: But what if she's not...
Mrs. Benson: There is a living, breathing girl who wants to go out with you. This many never happen again! Unless, Carly changes her mind...
Carly Shay: Yeah, Freddie and I are just buds.
Mrs. Benson: Oh yes, I totally understand.
Carly Shay: Thank you.
Mrs. Benson: [shouting] Why won't you love my son?

[Freddie seeks dating advice]
Spencer: Just be yourself. Talk about stuff *you* like.
Freddie: And if I run out of things to say?
Spencer: Then just stare into her eyes, and say nothing! That'll make you seem all cool and mysterious! She'll be like hypnotized!
Freddie: Yeah, I don't really think that works. 'Cause I mean, if I don't say anything, won't she think I'm...
[Spencer stares into his eyes]
Freddie: ... won't she think I'm... won't she just...
Spencer: What doesn't really work?


"iCarly: iHave a Lovesick Teacher (#1.25)" (2008)
Freddie: What are we gonna do?
Sam: We're gonna tell Spencer to call Miss Ackerman and start dating her again.
Carly: No, I'm not gonna make my brother's life miserable just to make our life easier.
Sam: Come on, having a miserable life's not all that bad.
[suddenly creepy]
Sam: Sometimes my mother laughs...

Freddie: Why can't Spencer just date her?
Carly Shay: Because the woman is a big bottle of crazy sauce!


"iCarly: iHurt Lewbert (#2.4)" (2008)
Carly Shay: [on Freddie's newfound freedom] I thought your mom always makes you wear a belt, and never let's you wear open-toed shoes.
Freddie Benson: Yeah, but since she's been taking care of Lewbert I can pretty much do whatever I want. Last night, I slept with my socks on.
Sam Puckett: So?
Freddie Benson: *Just* my socks.


"iCarly: iCarly Saves TV (#1.23)" (2008)
Sam: [sticks her BBQ ribs to Freddie's face to show how thick the sauce is] *That's* good BBQ sauce.
[picks them off his face and eats them]
Freddie: [in shock, to Carly] You understand that it's wrong.
Carly Shay: Yes.


"iCarly: iFence (#1.22)" (2008)
[Spencer and Freddie before a swordfight]
Spencer: En Garde!
Freddie: Oh Gosh!


"iCarly: iBalls (#5.8)" (2012)
Courtney: I watched your 3D webcast the other night.
Freddie Benson: Great! So now you're going to sue me?
Dr. Shole: Are you kidding?
Courtney: You cured my bilateral optic stenosis.
Freddie Benson: Huh?
Dr. Shole: She's been to over a dozen eye doctors since she was a little girl.
Courtney: None of them could fix me
Dr. Shole: But after she watched your webcast her vision became totally normal.
Freddie Benson: Her vi... really?
Dr. Shole: It's a miracle. You have to share your technology with the American optometric association.
Courtney: You'll help cure tens of people
Sam Puckett: Courtney, I see you brought your camera, you want a picture with Freddie?
Courtney: No; but could I get one with Baggles?
Freddie Benson: Goodbye Courtney.
Dr. Shole: [Courtney makes one of her animal-like noises] She still does that though.


"iCarly: iHate Sam's Boyfriend (#1.15)" (2008)
Spencer Shay: Well, when someone's in a new relationship, it's like they're blind to everything else but that other person. Like when I started dating that girl, Jennifer. I had a bad case of poison ivy for two whole weeks and I didn't even know.
Freddie Benson: What made you finally notice?
Spencer Shay: Well, it spread... to places.
Freddie Benson: Where?
[Spencer motions for Freddie to let him whisper into his ear]
Freddie Benson: Ugh!


"iCarly: iMeet Fred (#2.10)" (2009)
Freddie: He's a jerk.
Sam: You're the queen of the jerks!


"iCarly: iBeat the Heat (#3.18)" (2010)
[before meeting Freddie's online girlfriend]
Freddie Benson: Sam, swear you'll be nice.
Sam Puckett: Oh, I'll swear.


"iCarly: iPity the Nevel (#4.8)" (2011)
[Nevel is lying down on the couch with his hands and feet tied together facing up]
Nevel Papperman: [Gibby is eating pudding and smacking his lips] Must you eat your putting so loudly?
[smacks his lips again]
Carly Shay: Okay, Nevel, why are you really here?
Sam Puckett: Yeah, why?
Freddie Benson: You hate us.
Nevel Papperman: I don't hate anyone anymore... except myself. Until I saw the video of me shouting at that little girl, I didn't realize what a terrible, awful person I really am.
[pause]
Gibby: This pudding rocks.


"iCarly: iRocked the Vote (#2.9)" (2009)
[Carly walks into the studio in a sexy outfit]
Carly Shay: Hey, do you think this dress is a little too... saucy?
Freddie Benson: It's for a music video. You need to look hotter than you usually do.
Carly Shay: [perplexed, but flattered] Well, thank you.


"iCarly: iGive Away a Car (#2.8)" (2009)
Carly Shay: [Nevel, Spencer and LCC Inspector Bullock are waiting outside the LCC building when Carly, Sam and Freddie arrive in the modified Space vehicle prop] Here you go Nevel.
Sam Puckett: Congratulations winner.
Nevel Papperman: [Scoffs] What, and you think that rolling space turd will get iCarly off the hook?
Carly Shay: Yeah.
Sam Puckett: We think it will. Carly, would you say that this vehicle is "unique"?
Carly Shay: Oh it is clearly unique. Freddie has it ever been state registered?
Freddie Benson: Why no Carly, it hasn't.
Carly Shay: Mr Bullock?
LCC Inspector Bullock: If it can travel at a speed of at least 25 miles per hour, it technically qualifies as a new car
Nevel Papperman: [Sceptical] Well let's just see, let's just see if this thing can do 25.
[Gets in]
Nevel Papperman: Okay.
[starts engine and vehicle zooms off with Nevel screaming and then crashes off screen]
Nevel Papperman: .
Carly Shay: You think he hit 25 miles per hour?
Spencer Shay: Oh yeah.
LCC Inspector Bullock: You can't do that kind of damage to a flower shop unless you're doing at least 25.


"iCarly: iKiss (#2.7)" (2009)
Freddie Benson: You put a dead fish in my locker, I handcuffed you to Gibby. Now we're even.
Carly Shay: Yay. Who wants lemonade?
[Sam yanks him by his shirt]
Sam Puckett: I don't play to get even. Mama plays to win.


"iCarly: iFix a Pop Star (#3.13)" (2010)
[Spencer leaves his supper date in the kitchen to answer the door; Freddie and Gibby are there]
Spencer Shay: Oh. Hey, guys!
Gibby: 'Sup?
Freddie Benson: Carly here?
Spencer Shay: Nah, she and Sam went to Build-A-Bra.
Gibby: They're always kicking me outta that place!
Freddie Benson: [Freddie gives him a strange look] Yeah.


"iCarly: iStakeout (#1.20)" (2008)
Carly Shay: [entering the room] Hey, Spencer.
Freddie: [at the same time as Sam] What's up?
Sam Puckett: [at the same time as Freddie] Hi.
Spencer: Hey, little sister and her two friends who never seem to hang out at their own homes.


"iCarly: iTake on Dingo (#2.17)" (2009)
Spencer Shay: Okay, you guys go in there and confront the Totally Teri writers. I'm gonna go find Charles Dingo's frozen head.
Carly Shay: Wait. Umm... maybe Freddie should go with you.
Freddie Benson: [whiny] No, I wanna watch Sam beat up TV writers!


"iCarly: iScream on Halloween (#1.7)" (2007)
Freddie: Something still doesn't make sense: Why did Lewbert tell us that noone lives here?
Lewbert the Doorman: [Appearing in doorway] 'Cause I'm a jerk!


"iCarly: iBelieve in Bigfoot (#3.16)" (2010)
[Carly and Freddie are looking through binoculars in an RV]
Freddie Benson: See anything?
Carly Shay: Just trees... and some bushes... and two squirrels wrestling.
Freddie Benson: Carly?
Carly Shay: Yeah?
Freddie Benson: They're not wrestling.
Carly Shay: [disturbed] Oh.


"iCarly: iPromise Not to Tell (#1.12)" (2008)
[Carly and Freddie have been caught by the Computer Security Agency]
Freddie: Are we under arrest?
Carly: Are you gonna take us to juvie?
Freddie: I don't wanna go to juvie.
Carly: They're gonna take us to juvie.
Carly, Freddie: [wailing] OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!


"iCarly: iQ (#5.5)" (2011)
Sam Puckett: Hey, where did you guys get this fork?
Carly Shay: Some website.
Freddie Benson: Epic-forks dot com?
Carly Shay: That's the one.


"iCarly: iMust Have Locker 239 (#2.18)" (2009)
[admiring Locker 239]
Freddie Benson: I could fit an entire editing bay in there.
Sam Puckett: You could fit a body in there...
[Freddie and Carly stare at Sam]
Sam Puckett: ...if you had to.


"iCarly: iGot Detention (#1.19)" (2008)
Carly Shay: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?
Freddie Benson: I gotta give you credit, Sam. You make it look easy.
Sam Puckett: Years of practice.


"iCarly: iFight Shelby Marx (#2.20)" (2009)
[in response to being called a "twig"]
Carly Shay: I'm getting curvier everyday.
Freddie Benson: [checking her out] I know.
Carly Shay: [not approving] Eyes up dude.


"iCarly: iLost My Mind (#4.11)" (2011)
Carly Shay: Sir, you have to let her leave. We are doing iCarly tomorrow night.
Chief Security Guard: I what?
Freddie Benson: It's a popular web show.
Chief Security Guard: It can't be that popular if I've never heard of it.
Sam Puckett: It's not for 'old' people.
Chief Security Guard: Look, she stays! You people leave!


"iCarly: iMake Sam Girlier (#2.13)" (2009)
Carly: Now to close the show, a song for Sam!
Carly: [singing with ensemble, excluding Sam and Freddie] HAPPY BIR...
Freddie Benson: [behind camera] Ah, stop! Stop! Stop! Not PD.
Carly: [rolling eyes, singing with ensemble] FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW!...