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Quotes for
Joel Sloane (Character)
from Fast Company (1938)

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Fast and Loose (1939)
Joel Sloane: Ho-hum.

Joel Sloane: Go away.
Garda Sloane: Come back later.
Joel Sloane: Nobody home.

Joel Sloane: [Talking to himself in bathroom mirror] I don't know who you are, my friend, but if you stand still, I'll shave you.

Joel Sloane: [to Garda] If you see a wolf at the door, beat it. Tell him he's got the wrong address.

Joel Sloane: [to Garda as he's leaving] If a customer comes with money in his pocket, shoot first and ask questions afterward.

Nicholas Torrent: [Referring to Sloane's inappropriate tirade] I must apologize for Wilkes, Mr. Sloane. He's been librarian here so long he probably imagines this is his property. Poor chap! I think he's beginning to lose his mind.
Joel Sloane: It was a hundred miles away a minute ago.

Garda Sloane: Well, I'm going downstairs and get a paper.
Joel Sloane: For what?
Garda Sloane: Oh, just to see if any of our friends have been murdered this morning.

'Lucky' Nolan: [Resentfully] You have a peculiar genius for mixing in my affairs.
Joel Sloane: You have some peculiar affairs.
'Lucky' Nolan: [Threateningly] I'm going to show you the unpleasant side of snooping, Mr. Sloane.

'Lucky' Nolan: [after Joel gets the jump on Nolan and takes away his gun] I see you don't fight fair, Mr. Sloane.
Joel Sloane: Now I'll tell you what you're going to do. You're going to call up and instruct those men to let my wife go. She's to phone me from outside. I don't want to sound melodramatic, Mr. Nolan, but to save my wife any discomfort, I would cheerfully kill a dozen guys like you.

Fast and Furious (1939)
Garda Sloane: Come on, dear. You've got to get dressed.
Joel Sloane: Dressed for what?
Garda Sloane: Ah, well, you wouldn't want to get buried in that suit, would you?

Joel Sloane: [Leaving] look, Darling, you order something. I'll be right back. I've got to see the manager. He distinctly promised me a room overlooking the ocean.
Garda Sloane: But this one overlooks the ocean.
Joel Sloane: But I don't like this ocean.
[He leaves]
Garda Sloane: [the Bellboy chuckles] What's funny?
Brash Bellboy: Nothing... only the last place I worked was an insane asylum. I was hoping this'd be a little different.

Joel Sloane: [In their crowded hotel suite] Darling, do you think a rumor I have leprosy would get some of our guests to leave?
Garda Sloane: As far as I'm conccerned, it's more than a rumor.

Garda Sloane: [Finding a tape measure that she suspects will be used on the beauty pageant candidates] And what were you going to measure with this, Mr. Sloane?
Joel Sloane: High tide.

Chief Miller: [as they discover a girl's body on the floor] Get a doctor quick!
Joel Sloane: It'd have to be a very good doctor, Chief. This girl's dead.

Garda Sloane: What's the matter?
Joel Sloane: Come down here. Stick out your tongue.
Garda Sloane: All of it? Oh, Doctor...
Joel Sloane: Just as I thought.
Garda Sloane: Don't you want to examine me? I have some very nice symptoms...

Garda Sloane: Don't you ever find a middle-aged, unattractive suspect?
Joel Sloane: They're just facts in a case to me, Garda. I don't see them as girls. A detective's first thought must be of his case.
Garda Sloane: It's that second thought that worries me.

Garda Sloane: Darling, do you think they'll go on with the pageant despite all this dreadful business?
Joel Sloane: I hope so.
Garda Sloane: You would, you and your tape measure.

Fast Company (1938)
Joel Sloane: Oh, no, you're on the wrong track, Lieutenant. I killed Brockler myself. I waved a $10 dollar bill over his head, and he broke his neck jumping for it.
Lt. James Flanner: This is serious, Sloane.
Joel Sloane: All right, if you want to find Brockler's murderer, ask Brockler. Offer a reward. He'll talk dead or alive.

Joel Sloane: You know, this thing's apt to blow the whole rare book business sky high. Play ball with me, Miss Thome. The explosion won't singe a hair of your very pretty head. I want to be on your team.
Julia Thorne: [Flirtatiously] When do we play the next game?

Joel Sloane: The world laughed in my face.
Steve Langner: You've got a great face to laugh into.

Steve Langner: [Walking into the office and seeing the Sloanes kissing] Oh, pardon me. I thought this was a business office.
Joel Sloane: [Facetiously] Oh, we mean business.

Arnold Stamper: [Speaking of Morgan] He told me about your kindness to him yesterday.
[Steve winces]
Arnold Stamper: Only three people know about this.
Joel Sloane: Yesterday it was only two people.

Julia Thorne: Pardon me, but do you take dope?
Joel Sloane: Never before lunch.