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Quotes for
Doofy Gilmore (Character)
from Scary Movie (2000)

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Scary Movie (2000)
The Killer: What's your favorite scary movie?
Drew Decker: Kazaam! You know, the one where Shaq plays a genie.
The Killer: That's not a horror movie.
Drew Decker: Yeah, well, you've never seen Shaq act.

The Killer: [on the phone] What's was that noise?
Drew Decker: Oops, I farted. I didn't think you'd hear me.
The Killer: No... that popping noise...

The Killer: [rapping] I'm gonna slash and gash, cut another hole in your ass. I spill blood on the walls, then play tennis with your balls. If the phone rings, don't answer the call. Gonna slit your throat, fuck you like a goat, peel your foreskin off and make a winter coat. Peace!
[camera pulls back to reveal all of Shorty's friends dead]
Shorty: Yo! That was the illest rhyme I ever seen!

Drew Decker: [on the phone with killer] Or else my boyfriend is gonna be here any minute. He's black and he'll kick your ass!
The Killer: You mean the one who wears makeup and dresses like a woman?
Drew Decker: How did you know?
The Killer: Turn the porch lights on.
Drew Decker: [Turns on the lights, to see a Prince look-alike tied up, screaming] That's not my boyfriend. I mean, I fucked him a couple of times, but that's it.
Drew Decker: [the man shrieks] Look, I'm calling the cops!
The Killer: Go ahead, call the cops. But you might wanna check the back door first. You forgot to lock it.

The Killer: [reading pornography magazine] Nice breasts...
Drew Decker: What do you want?
The Killer: I wanna see what your insides look like.
Drew Decker: Then turn to page 54.

The Killer: Do you know where I am?
[Feet are sticking out from behind couch, and are kicking up and down]
Cindy Campbell: Um, you're behind the couch, I can see your feet.
The Killer: [Killer sticks head up and sees his feet. He grabs his head] D'oh!
The Killer: Okay,okay close your eyes!
[Cindy closes her eyes, and the killer tries to hide under the carpet, but then goes behind the curtains]
The Killer: Now do you know where I am?
[Cindy opens her eyes]

The Killer: [after stumbling around, letting his victim escape] I gotta stop drinking.

Shorty: [answers phone] Yo.
Shorty's Roomate: Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?
Shorty: Nothin. Just watching the game. Smokin some bud.
Shorty's Roomate: Are you all alone?
Shorty: [to roommate] Yo, pick up the phone!
The Killer: [sticking out tongue] WAZZZZUPPP!
Shorty: WAZZZUP!
[killer looks at phone]
Shorty: Yo, Dookie! Pick up the phone!
Dookie: Yo.
Shorty's Roomate: WAZZZZUP!
Shorty, Shorty's Roomate, The Killer, Dookie: WAZZZZZUPPP!
[Dookie and roommate hang up]
Shorty: What you doin my son?
Shorty's Roomate: Nothing. Just chillin. Killin.
Shorty: True.