Sean Garrity
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Quotes for
Sean Garrity (Character)
from "Rescue Me" (2004)

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"Rescue Me: Sensitivity (#2.5)" (2005)
Sean Garrity: So you're over the fat chick?
Mike Silletti: Totally.
Sean Garrity: Yeah? So what's with the new girl, what's her name?
Mike Silletti: Allison.
Sean Garrity: Can I tell you something bro, concerning Allison? She's gigantic.
Mike Silletti: She's tall.
Sean Garrity: No. Shaq is tall. Ok? Yo Yo Ming is tall.
Franco Rivera: Yao Ming.
Sean Garrity: Yo.
Franco Rivera: Yao.
Sean Garrity: No, I was just-I was just saying hi. Your chick is gigantic.
Franco Rivera: Oh, he's back with the fat chick?
Sean Garrity: No, he's dating a vet, now.
Franco Rivera: What war?
Sean Garrity: No. Vet, like cats and dogs.
Franco Rivera: And she's fat?
Mike Silletti: Tall.
Franco Rivera: Oh, how tall are we talkin?
Mike Silletti: Like, not that tall, like 6'2" 6'3" and a half?
Franco Rivera: So what, are you only doing Guiness book chicks now, is that it Probie? Fattest and tallest, I mean, what's next, a chick with three tits?
Sean Garrity: Oh, that'd be great wouldn't it? You know I dated a chick with three nipples, one time? Well, I thought it was a nipple, it turned out to be a boil... Long Pause... Anyway, an extra tit would be great.

Don Kleinman: Ok, we have a hand up. You think you're prejudice.
Tommy Gavin: Yup.
Don Kleinman: Against who?
Tommy Gavin: Well let's see, uh, Chevy Neons that cost 12 Grand to buy but have $8,000 paint jobs and 9 spics inside them smokin' weed, that's one thing.
Don Kleinman: Ok, now listen, the term "spic"...
Franco Rivera: It's Ok, I'm a spic.
Tommy Gavin: Crazy chink broads who don't know how to drive in the first place and now they have cell phones stuck to their ears while they're doing 65 MPH down 6th avenue, huh? Right? And the crazy chinks on bikes with 10 pounds of chinese food strapped to the handlebars...
Don Kleinman: Ok, see, now the word "chink" is what I like to call a problem word.
Sean Garrity: ...raises his hand... Yeah, uh, if I were a chink I'd rather be called a chink then a gook.
Don Kleinman: Ok, now hold on. Listen to me please. Chinese people would not like to be called gook or chink or pan face or zipper-head or...
Franco Rivera: See? That's another thing-Puerto Ricans, we even get shafted when it comes to racism. Chinks get like what, 4 ethnic slurs? We get one-spic, that's it. The Irish, they got: Mick, Paddy, Donkey. The Italians, they got: Guinea, WOP, Deigo...
Sean Garrity: ...raises his hand... Yeah, uh, Sphagetti Bender...
Franco Rivera: Ehhh, Sphagetti Bender went out of style during Sinatra's first marriage.
Mike Silletti: ...raises his hand... Greaseball?
Franco Rivera: Yeah, greaseball. There ya have it. That's four.
Tommy Gavin: That's right, you know, same thing with the Jews, right? Heeb, Kike, Jew-Boy, Benny...
Franco Rivera: Shiloch
Tommy Gavin: That's five.
Franco Rivera: Yeah, black people, forget about it. Spear-Chucker, Jungle Bunny, Raisin Head, Porch Monkey, Spook
Tommy Gavin: Shyne
Sean Garrity: Tar-Baby
Franco Rivera: It's endless, totally unfair.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah
Don Kleinman: ...all turn and look to the front at Don who is looking in complete disbelief...
Franco Rivera: What?


"Rescue Me: Brains (#2.10)" (2005)
Chief Jerry Reilly: Garrity, I need a nurse, not a stripper.
Sean Garrity: Oh, no. She's the real deal, she's got a little hat, little uniform, the whole nine.
Chief Jerry Reilly: [to Lou] If he doesn't shut up he's gonna need a g**damn nurse.
Sean Garrity: Oh, no she's a stripper and a nurse, I promise, she works at a hospital downtown.

Sean Garrity: Hey, maybe I can help.
Chief Jerry Reilly: Yeah, and I can grow a vagina.


"Rescue Me: Voicemail (#2.1)" (2005)
Sully: [after grabbing Laura's camera] "Do you know what you should do? You should take out your cock and take a picture of it"
Sean Garrity: Hey that's good idea, I'm gonna do it
Sully: Hey na, don't take your cock in the Kitchen
Sean Garrity: What why?
Sully: I don't know, that's what my mom used to say.

Sully: [after Sean grabs Laura's camera] "Do you know what you should do? You should go into the other room, take out your cock and take a picture of it"
Sean Garrity: Hey thats good idea, I'm gonna do it right here
Sully: Hey na, don't take your cock in the Kitchen
Sean Garrity: What why?
Sully: I don't know, that's what my mother used to say.


"Rescue Me: Rebirth (#2.9)" (2005)
Franco Rivera: It's not a thingy, Sean! It's a step. And you're supposed to make amens for your own personal bullsh*t not mine! Tellin' Laura I was bangin the nurse, that's one thing. Tellin' the whole crew that I was bangin' Laura, Sean, that's like a whole new level of retardation. That is like the special Olympics of substance abuse.
Sean Garrity: Well, I was drunk.


"Rescue Me: Happy (#2.12)" (2005)
Sean Garrity: You banged my sweet cousin, Angie?
Franco Rivera: No.
Franco Rivera: I banged your sister.
Sean Garrity: Missy? Franco she was like 17.
Franco Rivera: I know. I waited a year.


"Rescue Me: Chlamydia (#3.5)" (2006)
Kenny Lou: Some teacher raped three of her students.
Tommy Gavin: Ah... they say anything about chlamydia?
Mike Silletti: You mean the band?
Sean Garrity: It's not a band you asshole, it's a country.
Kenny Lou: It's a venereal disease, monkeys.


"Rescue Me: Gay (#1.2)" (2004)
Sean Garrity: [a woman has been burnt to a crisp] Oh, Jesus. Nice.
Tommy Gavin: Yeah, I won't be orderin' the crispy beef from that Chinese place any time soon.


"Rescue Me: Pussified (#4.4)" (2007)
[during a discussion at the house after the crew learns of Jerry's suicide]
Tommy Gavin: He was a coward.
Kenny Lou: Watch it Tom, OK?
Tommy Gavin: He was afraid. Afraid of workin' behind that desk down at headquarters for the next five or...
Sean Garrity: Oh c'mon Tom, that's your excuse for the guy? That he was afraid of...
Tommy Gavin: Shut up asshole! What do you got, eight years on the job?
Sean Garrity: No I'm just saying that...
Tommy Gavin: Shut up! Christ almighty, know how much he hated being the chief? Huh? Watchin' us run into jobs while he stayed outside, but he did it, you know why? So he could teach assholes like you
[camera on Garrity]
Tommy Gavin: , and you
[camera on Franco]
Tommy Gavin: , what the job was really about. When he was workin' up in the Bronx, when the Bronx was burning, ever hear about those days? Huh? They'd get ten, twelve, fourteen jobs a night! Shithead. He ran into a job one time up at 200 79th Street, pulled three kids in wheelchairs out in something like, fifteen minutes. You know why? 'Cause the rest of his group was busy bringin' old people out. There was a Cold Storage Warehouse fire one time up there, and ah, the chief on the job that night shut the job down 'cause it was "too hot for humans." You know what Jerry did? He ran around the side of the building, went in a side door, pulled out two drunken assholes, ends up being the two same assholes who started the goddamn fire! And he was workin' then without a mask. Runnin' in and out of the building with a cigar danglin' out of his mouth. You wanna talk about being brave, and who's a coward, who's not a coward? Suck my cock.
[pause]
Tommy Gavin: [in a much more solemn tone] Wanna talk about bein' brave? Workin' up in the Bronx used up all the goddamn brave he had.


"Rescue Me: Bitch (#2.11)" (2005)
Chief Jerry Reilly: [seeing Sean and Mike play Scrabble] Look at this: A meeting of the minds and the minds are a no-show.
Tommy Gavin: [looking at the Scrabble board] Hmm. "Tag." "Arm." "It." "Go." That's great guys.
Laura Miles: Why even bother keepin' score?
Mike Silletti: [placing tiles on the board] F-E-L-L. Read it and weap
Sean Garrity: Oh, sh*t. How many points?
[Sean and Mike just stare at each other, Mike takes a little time to figure it out]
Mike Silletti: [after a few minutes] Eight.


"Rescue Me: Pieces (#3.9)" (2006)
Mike's Roommate: Let's just say Mike's a big fan of Sex and the City.
Sean Garrity: Oh, me too. It's a great show! You know what i never understood? Why we never got to see Sarah Jessica Parker's tits. Cynthia Nixon, sure. Kim Catrall, why not? Never Sarah Jessica Parker's.


"Rescue Me: Twat (#2.4)" (2005)
Sean Garrity: Whoa, what's with the piece?
Mike Silletti: Huh?
Sean Garrity: The Gun
Mike Silletti: Oh, um, nothin, I just...
Sean Garrity: Not thinkin about usin' that thing are ya?
Mike Silletti: No.
Sean Garrity: Listen, I heard about you and Theresa. You're not gonna off yourself are ya?
Mike Silletti: No, of course not.
Sean Garrity: Alright, well what're you gonna do? You're not gonna shoot her...
Mike Silletti: I was maybe gonna scare her a little.
Sean Garrity: It's a good idea, chicks love that, ya know? Wave a gun in their face-it's their blowjob.