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Ian
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Quotes for
Ian (Character)
from Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

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Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
David Seville: Ian, they don't want this anymore. Just let them go!
Ian: But the guy just left, you should have said something about five seconds ago.
Ian: [soft voice] Come back.
David Seville: Ian, they need a real life, not all of this. Besides, they just ruined the concert. Word'll get out, and no one will come to see them!
Ian: [places hands on Dave's cheeks] Dave, they're chipmunks, who talk. People will come.
Ian: [to security guards] Guys, with me.
Ian: [singing] Whoa, whoa... that's how we roll...

Ian: Let's talk about your song, Dave.
David Seville: Well, as crazy as it sounds, the original inspiration came to me...
Ian: The song sucks, Dave.
David Seville: What?
Ian: Your song, it's awful, I hate it. Yeah, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin? Fergie? Not a chance. Come on, I need something new, something fresh...
David Seville: But that is new.
Ian: The next big thing. Dave, we go way back. We both come a long way since college. You, not so much. I wanted to like that song, but, you heard it... not that good. If I wasn't your friend, I'd say, "Dave, you go right back out of this office and you keep writing music, you'll get there someday." But I am your friend, so I'm going to tell you that there is no sense in writing songs that no one is ever, ever, going to sing.
David Seville: Ever?

Ian: Alright people, settle in, settle in. It is a very special night tonight. Here at Jett Records we pride ourselves in bringing you tomorrow's music today. Oh, and guess what, I did it again. Ladies and gentlemen, here to sing their new hit single, give it up for Alvin, Simon, and Theodore!
[audience applauds]

Ian: Dave Seville. Learn the name, look for the face. If he shows up tomorrow night, he doesn't get anywhere near my chipmunks. Got it?
Security Guard: Got it.

Theodore: [climbs on Ian's bed] Uncle Ian?
Ian: [wakes up with a start] What are you doing here?
Theodore: Can I sleep with you? I had a nightmare.
Ian: Oh... you had a nightmare? I had a nightmare too. In my nightmare, I had to put together 37 dates in 42 days, in 16 countries. And, I had to coordinate 121 radio and print interviews in 5 different languages.
Ian: [picks up Theodore] And you know what Theo, the only difference is, in my nightmare, when I open my eyes, it doesn't end!
Theodore: So... is that a no?
[Ian throws Theodore out the door]
Theodore: Whoa... oh... oh...

Ian: [glances outside his mansion] Hello?... Hello?
[Theodore smells Ian's foot and sneezes]
Ian: Kids.
[closes door and heads back to the stairs]
Alvin (singing voice), Simon (singing voice), Theodore (singing voice): [a capella] Christmas, Christmas time is here / Time for toys and time for cheer / We can hardly stand the wait / Please Christmas, don't be late
Ian: Welcome to Jett Records.

Ian: You guys better study your French, because we're going to Partis tonight. OK?


Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)
Ian: Not many record studios want to hire the guy that blew it with the chipmunks, blew it with the chipettes, and passed on Justin Bieber. Twice, actually.

Dave: Take the suit off, then.
Ian: I can't.
Dave: Why not?
Ian: I'm not wearing anything under it.
[sees an island]
Ian: Look!
Dave: It's okay. I believe you.
Ian: No, look!

Dave: [looking for the chipmunks] Alvin! Britney!
Ian: Chubby one! Girl chubby one!

Dave: All right, Ian get everyone to the raft. If the volcano blows before I make it out of here, you have to promise me you'll-...
Ian: Leave without you. Got it!


Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)
Ian: What part of "singing female chipmunks" don't these people understand?

Ian: I had fifteen cars. That's like five more cars than anybody really needs.