Cpl. Randolph Agarn
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Quotes for
Cpl. Randolph Agarn (Character)
from "F Troop" (1965)

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"F Troop: Go for Broke (#1.20)" (1966)
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: Genuine Indian blankets, a hundred percent wool!
Wild Eagle: Ten percent wool, ninety percent cotton. I know, we make 'em.

Cpl. Randolph Agarn: Play slowly! Slowly! That way you won't lose so fast!

Cpl. Randolph Agarn: Well, Sarge, what do we do?
Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke: I don't know but I'll think of something.
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: I got it!
Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke: What?
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: The captain wants the money by nine thirty?
Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke: Right.
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: We leave town at nine.
Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke: Ahh! For desertion you get twenty years!
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: So what? For embezzling army funds you get twenty-five. I just saved us five years.

"F Troop: V Is for Vampire (#2.22)" (1967)
[Agarn believes the Count has transformed Captain Parmenter into a chicken, which lays an egg]
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: Congratulations, sir. You're a mother.

[Agarn is frightened to be at Count Sforza's front door; they believe the Count has kidnapped Jane]
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: I still say we didn't have to come. We coulda written a threatening letter.

"F Troop: Scourge of the West (#1.1)" (1965)
Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke: [O'Rourke and Agarn are meeting with Chief Wild Eagle] Wild Eagle, my brother.
Chief Wild Eagle: You some brother. The still is still busted. How you expect Hekawi make firewater?
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: We'll get you a new coil and when we do, stop holding out liquor for the tribe. Indians aren't supposed to drink alcohol.
Chief Wild Eagle: Who says so?
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: Everybody.
Chief Wild Eagle: That's just nasty rumor spread by sister-in-law Sparkling Water! She one big bluenosed red skin!

"F Troop: O'Rourke vs. O'Reilly (#1.13)" (1965)
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: Put down that bottle of Demon Rum! Don't give in to temptation!

"F Troop: Here Comes the Tribe (#1.15)" (1965)
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: I gotta get out of here, my blood pressure's ready to pop!

"F Troop: Don't Look Now, One of Our Cannon Is Missing (#1.2)" (1965)
Sgt. Morgan O'Rourke: [O'Rourke and Agarn bring a cannon to Chief Wild Eagle] Well here's your cannon, Chief. Now you owe me two dozen blankets.
Chief Wild Eagle: Just one minute. We've been stuck before by a fast talking paleface.
Cpl. Randolph Agarn: I tell ya boys this is the real cannon. It works perfectly.
Chief Wild Eagle: Me see first. If not good, me sue.
Chief Wild Eagle: Oh - me not Sioux, me Hikawi!