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: Witness the carnage, as six rock'n'roll superstars tear each other apart, like cheap hotel rooms. Will music soothe the savage celebrity? Not bloody likely! Find out for sure, right now, on Celebrity Deathmatch!
: You know, Johnny, they say that if you remember the sixties, you weren't really there. Johnny Gomez
: Who says that? Nick Diamond
: I don't remember...
: What a night. We start with a transfer of vomit, and end with a transfer of blood! Stone Cold Steve Austin
: That don't surprise me one bit. Rock star's all about exchanging bodily fluids.
] Stone Cold Steve Austin
: Nick, you never should've called me a sweaty, vest-wearing gorilla. Now I got no choice but to go rock star on your Greek ass and drop you like a 27-inch trinitron! Nick Diamond
: Hey, what the-!
[Stone Cold throws him from the announcer's booth
] Johnny Gomez
: Ooh, Nick's gonna feel that when he wakes up.
: [one of the Spice Girls is ripped in half
] Looks like we'll have to change her name to "Shorty Spice".
: Witness the queen-sized carnage, as daytime talk-show behemoths collide. Feel the noise as two rock-star brothers bash each other's brains in. And, fasten your seat-belts as the world's two biggest action heroes decide who is más macho. Tonight, on Celebrity Deathmatch!