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: Just for the record, you're brother is not exactly a fair arbitrator. Nick
: I'm not partial to Brian. Brian
: Yeah, well, back at you, boss.
[Brian and Andrea give to a policeman the description of Brian Jr., who's missing
: Um, he's about 4 foot tall, he has a face like a smurf. Andrea
: Here's a recent picture, and he's 4 foot 2, exactly. Brian
: And, uh, she's the one who lost him.
: Nice work. You've created a situation where our son has had to hire a lawyer. Andrea
: Oh, *I* created? Brian
: What did I just say? Andrea
: You are the one who kidnapped him. Brian
: Say kidnapped again... Andrea
: Kidnapped! Brian
] Why do you deliberately provoke me? I just said don't say kidnapped again, and you say it!
: You kidnapped our son! Brian
: Andrea, our son stowed away on my jet. I had nothing to do with it! Andrea
: You planted the idea in his head! Brian
: The pygmy has a mind of his own, and, let's face it, unlike you is smart enough to realize he'd be better off here, with me! Brian, Jr.
: I want to be with both of you. That's why I stowed away and that's why I called Nick.
: Brian, that first day that I met you at church, you sat and talked with me for hours about faith and solace. Rev. Brian Darling
: Yeah, so what about it. Andrea Smithson
: So *you* are the one who taught me to bring my problems in life to God. Have you thought about doing that?
: Is it true you forced Brian Jr. to lie to your wife and pretend he was a Swedish orphan whose parents died in a car accident? Rev. Brian Darling
: No. Mr. Mitchell
: No? Rev. Brian Darling
: It was a bullet train accident, not a car. Get your facts straight.
: [to Andrea
] I'll give you one million dollars to get up and walk out of here right now. Mr. Mitchell
: Excuse me? Nick George
: Hey, that's not what we're here to do, Brian. Let me finish. Brian Darling
: Two million. Andrea Smithson
: Are you trying to *buy* my son? Brian Darling
: I'm trying to buy *our* son. Nick George
: Nobody is buying anybody. Mr. Mitchell
: This is ridiculous. We're leaving. Brian Darling
: Three million! We both know it's all about the money with you anyway. Andrea Smithson
: Now I remember why it didn't work with us. You are not a human being.
] Brian, what a wonderful wedding sermon, so much humanity, so much hope. There really is such a kind person buried deep down inside you. Deep, deep down! Inside you... somewhere? Brian
: Thanks dad.
: Why'd you even come back here? Andrea
: To see my son! And you... maybe... a little... Brian
: [as he goes in to kiss her
] Oh crap.
: Why the hell is Nick George coming over? This is the worst idea in the history of the western world.
Rev. Brian Darling
: This is Nick George, our family lawyer. You better do what he says, or else... Or else you're gonna wake up tomorrow morning and find your tires slashed or something. It won't be good. I promise. Nick George
: Where the hell are you going? Rev. Brian Darling
: I have to go to a baptism.
: I changed my mind, Brian. I'm gonna do the trial. Brian
: Since when? Andrea
: Since tonight. After that dinner, I realized there is *no way* I can leave my son alone with you and your family.
[she kisses him
: I actually *have* to live.
: [as Lisa and Karen are about to fight
] *Now* it's family night.