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Quotes for
Michael Rimmer (Character)
from The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer (1970)

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The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer (1970)
Michael Rimmer: [schmoozing] Hugh, I loved your speech on abortion. It was really gorgeous.

Priest: Have you been able to find time for the survey in regard to the declining attendance in England's churches?
Michael Rimmer: Yes, we have.
Priest: We've tried everything, you know... cutthroat bingo, hallucinogens in the wafers, neon lights for the graveyards, chapels on wheels, fifty-fifty drawings after communion...
Michael Rimmer: Really?
Priest: [grabbing hold of his vestments] And these clothes are a bit out-of-date for the 1960s.
Michael Rimmer: Yes, well, we've done a great deal of research on the results of our religious polls and I believe we have discovered the true root of the problem.
Priest: What would that be?
Michael Rimmer: God.
Priest: I had a nasty suspicion it was that.
Michael Rimmer: It's just that people have a hard time believing in Him. So, get rid of the God and you'll do just fine.
Priest: Interesting. Sort of an "Our Father who *might be* in heaven"...
Michael Rimmer: Yes, very good.

Michael Rimmer: [after seeing Fromage faint] What's the matter with Fromage?
Pumer: Oh, these recent sex surveys have him worn out.

Patricia Cartwright: I've got the Olympic Heats tomorrow.
Michael Rimmer: I've got the Olympic Heats tonight.

Michael Rimmer: Don't worry Tom, we'll supply the tears.

Michael Rimmer: Peter, I was just jotting down a few reasons why you might want to leave IOP and come over to us at the Fairburn Organisation.
[hands over cheque]
Peter Niss: Oh yes, I see, that's very well put. Yes, I particularly like the noughts.