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: Oh my God, are we this family now? All about the quarterback? Susan Pearson
: Lauren, can't you be happy about your brother? Trent Pearson
: No, no we can talk about something else, like how Lauren wants to get her bellybutton pierced.
: How about if I pierce my tongue? then nobody'll know if I don't open my mouth? Trent Pearson
: Oh I'm for that!
: OK, that was a really nice presentation Lauren but God gave you all the hols you're gonna ever need. Susan Pearson
: What you're father is trying to say, is no piercings. Lauren Pearson
: You guys are so... old!
: [after Lauren tricks them into thinking she got her naval pierced
] You kids think you're funny, but you can't take back heart damage! Lauren Pearson
: I didn't not do it because of what you guys said. I though about it and made an informed decision. Susan Pearson
: Big needle get to you? Lauren Pearson
: Not as much as the scary guy holding it.
: It's like dad says, Raffles will come out when he's hungry. Bryan Pearson
: Sure. Just leave Raffles just like you left me at school. Leaver. Lauren Pearson
: Ugh. Will you get over that? Bryan Pearson
: Do you know who hangs out at the parking lot at that hour? Big scary sixth graders who just got out of detention! Trent Pearson
: Yeah, I did time in sixth grade D. Those were the days. Lauren Pearson
: Okay Brian, I'm sorry I was late. Bryan Pearson
: Oh, were you late? I didn't notice. I was too busy hyperventilating into a paper bag.
: [crawling under Faulkner's house to get Brian
] Rainbows and butterflies. Rainbows and butterflies. Aaarghh, spiders approaching, spiders approaching, they're in my hair! Bryan Pearson
: All right, about another foot there's this giant spider web. Lauren Pearson
: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Bryan Pearson
: That would be the one.
: [still under the house after getting Brian unstuck
] Let's get out of here. Bryan Pearson
: It's ok, you don't have to hold my hand. Lauren Pearson
: I'm not holding your hand. Lauren Pearson
: [both quickly crawl out screaming, then Lauren sees Brian looking at his hands outside
] What are you doing? Bryan Pearson
: Making sure I have all my fingers.
: Why did you guys... choose to have other children after me? Susan Pearson
: Cause, we were young... and stupid.
: Oh my gosh! He must really like me to call so soon!
: Doesn't matter what he looks like. Girls want a guy who's smart and knows the facts. Lauren Pearson
: Sure they do. Goodbye Johnny Depp. My hearts belongs to Al Gore.
: [addressing Trent's oversleeping
] Trent, you have got to figure out this sleeping problem, you can't keep going on like this. Trent Pearson
: Look, I'm sorry. I really am, but I can't help it. Bill Pearson
: Well, what do we have to do, yell into your ear with a megaphone? Lauren Pearson
: Dump a bucket of water over your head? Bryan Pearson
: Put a bunch of black widow spiders in your bed to fill you so full of poison your nervous system shuts down? Bryan Pearson
: [notices the entire family is staring at him
] What, I mean if the water thing doesn't work.