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: It's like dad says, Raffles will come out when he's hungry. Bryan Pearson
: Sure. Just leave Raffles just like you left me at school. Leaver. Lauren Pearson
: Ugh. Will you get over that? Bryan Pearson
: Do you know who hangs out at the parking lot at that hour? Big scary sixth graders who just got out of detention! Trent Pearson
: Yeah, I did time in sixth grade D. Those were the days. Lauren Pearson
: Okay Brian, I'm sorry I was late. Bryan Pearson
: Oh, were you late? I didn't notice. I was too busy hyperventilating into a paper bag.
: [crawling under Faulkner's house to get Brian
] Rainbows and butterflies. Rainbows and butterflies. Aaarghh, spiders approaching, spiders approaching, they're in my hair! Bryan Pearson
: All right, about another foot there's this giant spider web. Lauren Pearson
: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Bryan Pearson
: That would be the one.
: [still under the house after getting Brian unstuck
] Let's get out of here. Bryan Pearson
: It's ok, you don't have to hold my hand. Lauren Pearson
: I'm not holding your hand. Lauren Pearson
: [both quickly crawl out screaming, then Lauren sees Brian looking at his hands outside
] What are you doing? Bryan Pearson
: Making sure I have all my fingers.
: [about his missing python
] How come you're not out finding that viper of yours? Bryan Pearson
: She's not a viper. She's a constrictor. Pythons rarely bite, they crush their prey. Normally nothing larger than a wombat, so you're safe dad. Bill Pearson
: I don't care if it doesn't bite and it's on Jenny Craig. Find it. Bryan Pearson
: Yes sir.
: Doesn't matter what he looks like. Girls want a guy who's smart and knows the facts. Lauren Pearson
: Sure they do. Goodbye Johnny Depp. My hearts belongs to Al Gore.
: [addressing Trent's oversleeping
] Trent, you have got to figure out this sleeping problem, you can't keep going on like this. Trent Pearson
: Look, I'm sorry. I really am, but I can't help it. Bill Pearson
: Well, what do we have to do, yell into your ear with a megaphone? Lauren Pearson
: Dump a bucket of water over your head? Bryan Pearson
: Put a bunch of black widow spiders in your bed to fill you so full of poison your nervous system shuts down? Bryan Pearson
: [notices the entire family is staring at him
] What, I mean if the water thing doesn't work.