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Quotes for
Michael Ross (Character)
from "Home and Away" (1988)

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"Home and Away: Episode #1.1116" (1992)
Alf Stewart: [after Shane hits him with paint while messing around with Damian] What the hell have you blokes got for brains, eh? Jelly? I tell you what; As soon as I get cleaned up, I'll make sure you blokes never forget this day as long as you live!
Shane Parrish: He started it!
Damian Roberts: I didn't!
Michael Ross: I don't care *who* started it...
Alf Stewart: I just wanna know who the hell is gonna *pay* for it!
Michael Ross: Oh, they'll pay, don't worry!
[to Damian]
Michael Ross: You, get some turps from the laundry
[to Shane]
Michael Ross: and you, get some Dish washing liquid the laundry and some paper towels from the kitchen.
[to Alf who tries to rub the paint off]
Michael Ross: Don't that, mate you'll make it worse!
Alf Stewart: It couldn't be any flamin' worse!
Michael Ross: We'll get you cleaned up and stick you in the shower!
Alf Stewart: Look at the shirt, would ya? It's absoultely ruined! I mean, what in the hell did you think you were doing letting those two imbeciles alone on their own anyway?
Michael Ross: Don't blame *me*, Mate!
Alf Stewart: Look at me flamin' trousers, I might as well chuck 'em out!
Michael Ross: Just sit down and let us get you cleaned up!
Shane Parrish: I can't find any towel.
Michael Ross: Are you blind? It's gotta be there!
[goes into kitchen]
Damian Roberts: Here, this'll get it all off.
[rubs Alf with turpentine]
Alf Stewart: [in pain] HOLY GHOST! That stings! What the *hell* are you trying to, blind me as well?
Damian Roberts: Sorrry!
Alf Stewart: Nobody light any matches!
[Damian is no longer able to control his laughter]
Alf Stewart: And what the hell are *you* laughing at? My boy, when this over, you're gonna wish you'd never been born! And *exactly* the same goes for that Imbecillic mate of yours!


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1786" (1995)
Pippa Ross: [the Rosses are at war with Alf over the timeshare development] Typical Alf,
[Imitates Alf]
Pippa Ross: "Stone the flamin' crows!".
[imitating Alf]
Pippa Ross: He's talkin' through his flamin' hat, that's what I mean!
Michael Ross: What do you mean by that?
Pippa Ross: That he's talkin' through his flamin' hat, that's what I mean!"


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1003" (1992)
Pippa Ross: [after Irene schemes to get Fin and Damian back home] Well, that means Irene wins this petty battle over them at their expense.
Michael Ross: Well, I don't know what we can do to stop her, short of *really* bopping her over the head.
Pippa Ross: Oh, don't tempt me.


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1560" (1994)
Michael: [after Damian, Jack and Sam's arguing gets too much] SHUT UP! Will the lot of you just shut up? Can't I even watch the TV in peace for five minutes? I clean the place up and you drag half the beach back in here! I work my *guts* out for you lot and what do I get in return; *Nothin'*! I'm fed up with the lot of ya!
[walks out]


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1530" (1994)
Irene: [after finding out Damian is the cheat and Don suspends him] One Week... You deserve to be *flogged*! How *dare* you do something so *stupid*!
Michael: Irene, just hang on a second...
Irene: Since *when* have you needed to *cheat*? You've got more brains in your head than the rest of the school put together! Now you just go and *blow* it!
[Damian runs]
Irene: No, you don't!
[Irene tries to grab him but he gets away]


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1595" (1994)
Sam: [Sam comes running in through the front door] Hey, Damo! Come have a look at...
[snags himself on the Christmas tree which comes down on him]
Pippa: Oh, Sam!
[She and Damian run over]
Michael: Ohh! I *knew* this would happen! Are you alright, Sam?
Sam: Yeah, I'm okay.
Michael: What if he'd hurt himself?
Pippa: He didn't, Michael.
Michael: But he *could* have. And the tree shouldn't have been there in the first place! We have to do everything your way, No-one takes a *damn* bit of notice of what *I* say!
[to Sam]
Michael: And *You*, You should no better than to run in the house! You've been told often enough! When are you gonna start listening?
[walks off, leaving the other three stunned]


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1504" (1994)
Alf: You'd better pray there's witnesseses round, Pal, or I'm gonna break you in half!
Michael: What's going on?
Alf: It's not enough for him to call me a flamin' Nazi to my face, but he's gotta tell the whole world, hasn't he?
Jack: I didn't tell anybody anything!
Alf: Young Michaelangelo here's had a busy night, he's been down the surf club doing more Graffiti! Does "Alf Stewart Nazi from Hell" mean anything to you?
Jack: No.
Alf: Like hell it doesn't!
Jack: It doesn't, okay? I, I didn't do any...
Alf: You're a flamin' liar!
Michael: Where were you goin' last night that you couldn't take Sam?
Jack: Just down to the beach.
Alf: Yeah, with a can of spray paint!
Jack: No!
Alf: Too much of a coincidence, if you ask me. I tell you what; First of all he calls me a nazi to me *face*! And the next thing I know it's written on walls all around town. He did it alright, I'd bet my life on it.
[Jack looks stunned]


"Home and Away: Episode #1.1517" (1994)
Michael: [sees a despondent Damian, Jack and Sam at breakfast] Well, somebody sure robbed you lot of your Snap, Crackle and Pop this morning; I've seen livelier graveyards!