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Quotes for
Uncle Arthur (Character)
from Bewitched (2005)

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"Bewitched: The Joker Is a Card (#2.5)" (1965)
Uncle Arthur: [Uncle Arthur's head is sticking out of a plate on the table] Forgive me for not rising, but I'm up to my neck in work.
Samantha Stephens: Darrin, say hello to Uncle Arthur.

Uncle Arthur: Then I spent the summer hunting lions with the British expedition. One morning I shot a lion in my pajamas. Now, what he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know.

Uncle Arthur: [Samantha, Darrin, Endora and Arthur are together, drinking coffee] Cream, Darrin?
Darrin Stephens: Yes, please.
Uncle Arthur: [he creates instantly a cow by magic] Help yourself.
[gets amused]
Uncle Arthur: Forgive me. I just can't help milking a joke.

Uncle Arthur: Try to understand Darrin, you're only a mortal. No offense.

Uncle Arthur: [to Darrin] Look, I don't tell you about advertising, so don't tell me about witchcraft, please.

[last lines]
Samantha Stephens: Uncle Arthur. You promised you wouldn't.
Uncle Arthur: I know. I lied. Okay, so I'll taper off.


Bewitched (2005)
Uncle Arthur: Run, you idiot.

Uncle Arthur: Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic.

Jack Wyatt: [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender] This tastes awful!
Uncle Arthur: I know. I just like to blend.

Jack Wyatt: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!
Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are.

Jack Wyatt: Watch the road!
Uncle Arthur: Hey, is it Porsche, or Porsha?

Jack Wyatt: Umm... This is terrible!
Uncle Arthur: I know! I just... love to blend!


"Bewitched: Twitch or Treat (#3.7)" (1966)
Endora: 'Twas the night before Halloween, and all who were witches were sipping champagne...
Uncle Arthur: They'd be stoned for a week.
Endora: The witches and warlocks in Rome by the score, with their ladies attired in the best by Dior...
Uncle Arthur: Checking their warts as they came through the door.
Endora: And all the odd little mortals all snug in their beds, while visions of trick-or-treat danced in their heads. Our children were practicing spells and their chants...
Uncle Arthur: And even the poltergeists pulled off their pants.