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: [Uncle Arthur's head is sticking out of a plate on the table
] Forgive me for not rising, but I'm up to my neck in work. Samantha Stephens
: Darrin, say hello to Uncle Arthur.
: Then I spent the summer hunting lions with the British expedition. One morning I shot a lion in my pajamas. Now, what he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know.
: [Samantha, Darrin, Endora and Arthur are together, drinking coffee
] Cream, Darrin? Darrin Stephens
: Yes, please. Uncle Arthur
: [he creates instantly a cow by magic
] Help yourself.
] Uncle Arthur
: Forgive me. I just can't help milking a joke.
: Try to understand Darrin, you're only a mortal. No offense.
: [to Darrin
] Look, I don't tell you about advertising, so don't tell me about witchcraft, please.
] Samantha Stephens
: Uncle Arthur. You promised you wouldn't. Uncle Arthur
: I know. I lied. Okay, so I'll taper off.
: Run, you idiot.
: Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic.
: [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender
] This tastes awful! Uncle Arthur
: I know. I just like to blend.
: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character! Uncle Arthur
: Yes, you are.
: Watch the road! Uncle Arthur
: Hey, is it Porsche, or Porsha?
: Umm... This is terrible! Uncle Arthur
: I know! I just... love to blend!
: 'Twas the night before Halloween, and all who were witches were sipping champagne... Uncle Arthur
: They'd be stoned for a week. Endora
: The witches and warlocks in Rome by the score, with their ladies attired in the best by Dior... Uncle Arthur
: Checking their warts as they came through the door. Endora
: And all the odd little mortals all snug in their beds, while visions of trick-or-treat danced in their heads. Our children were practicing spells and their chants... Uncle Arthur
: And even the poltergeists pulled off their pants.