Dominic Da Vinci
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Quotes for
Dominic Da Vinci (Character)
from "Da Vinci's Inquest" (1998)

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"Da Vinci's Inquest: You Promised Me a Celebrity (#7.6)" (2004)
[Police Chief Bill Jacobs and his right hand man, Sgt. Charlie Klotchko, are walking along together hurriedly. Dominic Da Vinci runs after them]
Dominic Da Vinci: Hey Bill... Bill. How are ya? Got a minute?
Police Chief Bill Jacobs: Evening, Dom.
Sgt. Charlie Klotchko: We're a little pressed for time.
Dominic Da Vinci: I wasn't talking to you. If I was talking to you, I would have said, "hey asshole".

Dominic Da Vinci: I wasn't talking to you. If I was talking to you I would've said, "Hey, asshole!" But I didn't, did I?


"Da Vinci's Inquest: The Most Dangerous Time (#1.9)" (1998)
Dominic Da Vinci: What about you? When you, when you were at school? Were you a geek, or were you, uh, were you popular?
Helen: Well, everyone thinks they're a geek somewhere, even popular ones.
[pauses, then confidently]
Helen: I was popular with myself.


The Quality of Life (2008) (TV)
[Dominic Da Vinci has been urged by many, including his aide Sam Berger, to run for Premier. Berger has previously mentioned to him that to do so he needs a squeaky clean background.]
Mayor Dominic Da Vinci: I think we have to have that talk about skeletons in my closet. I got a couple need burying.
Sam Berger: I got a good shovel.
Mayor Dominic Da Vinci: Oh, you might need a backhoe.


"Da Vinci's Inquest: Little Sister: Part 2 (#1.2)" (1998)
Dominic Da Vinci: Half the people in this city don't have a pulse, doesn't mean they're dead.


"Da Vinci's Inquest: That's the Way the Story Goes (#3.1)" (2000)
Philip Simms: [about a deceased man on his apartment front doorstep] Could you please just get rid of him.
Dominic Da Vinci: What's your name?
Philip Simms: [defiantly] Philip Simms. And you?
Dominic Da Vinci: [testily] What's my name?
Philip Simms: That's right.
Dominic Da Vinci: Da Vinci. Dominic.
Philip Simms: [as Da Vinci starts to write] Two M's.
Dominic Da Vinci: Well, Mr. Simms with two M's, that's a deceased man that's in your doorstep there, and he's going to remain there until I decide or not. But you, sir, will remain an asshole forever.


"Da Vinci's Inquest: Shoulda Been a Priest (#4.7)" (2001)
Dominic Da Vinci: [rhetorically] Helen, Helen. Can you do me a favor? Can you read this file and tell me why I should care?


"Da Vinci's Inquest: Bury My Own Bones (#6.3)" (2003)
Dominic Da Vinci: I just want to tell you something. OK.
Helen: Yeah.
Dominic Da Vinci: [stumbling over his words] The Police Chief - the job's open. I'm in the running for that job.
[Helen has a stunned look on her face]
Dominic Da Vinci: Seriously.
Helen: You've been fighting with the police force for at least as long as I've been working here, and judging from the long list of enemies that you gave me when I started, a lot longer than that. So, sounds a little like, you know, the wolf running for Chief Chicken, 'cept they're the wolves and you're the chicken.
[Helen breathes a big sigh]
Dominic Da Vinci: I gave you a list of my enemies.
Helen: Yeah. You don't remember that? The list of people I'm not allowed to accept phone calls from?
Dominic Da Vinci: You still got that list? I'd like to refresh my memory there.
Helen: Well, it's a might longer by now, but I'll see if I can dig it up.


"Da Vinci's Inquest: A Cinderella Story: Part 2 (#2.2)" (1999)
Sid Samuels: Money? Now you listen to me. Either the wrong guy's in prison and the right guy's running loose, or the right guy's in prison and he somehow snuck out in the middle of the night, killed her...
Dominic Da Vinci: [very quietly interrupting] All right.
Sid Samuels: ...cut her into various pieces...
Dominic Da Vinci: [more firmly, interrupting] All right.
Sid Samuels: ...and then snuck back i-into a maximum security prison, in a solitary confinement cell.
Dominic Da Vinci: [drily] You put a three-piece band behind that, you got yourself a country-and-western classic.


"Da Vinci's Inquest: Cheap Aftershave (#4.4)" (2001)
Dominic Da Vinci: [mock sniffing into the air] What is that smell? What is that? Is that mendacity? Is it that cheap political aftershave?