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: Ah, come on! How about a little sportsmanship for god's sake? Michael Cole
: If you hadn't noticed, this isn't exactly Queensbury rules. But we aren't in Queensbury, wherever that is.
: A lot of people think Randy Orton's an overhyped pretty boy, but I respect his accomplishments. Michael Cole
: What? You mean turning on the people who supported him and stabbing them in the back? JBL
: No. I mean like being the youngest World Heavyweight champion, and having one of the longest Intercontinental title reigns. Michael Cole
: I'd have more respect for those achievements if Orton didn't earn them from underhanded tactics. JBL
: Well, I've got news for you. Orton doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks. And that's why he's at the top of his game right now.
: Ric Flair is a terrible example to all the young superstars. The man built his career on cheating and stealing victories. Michael Cole
: Aw, come on. Don't tell me you didn't learn a trick or two from the Dirtiest Player in the Game?
: You can show off for the crowd all you want, but all that does it let your opponent rest up. Michael Cole
: Actually, I think it's a great display of confidence on the part of this great superstar.
: Tell me something. Do you really consider Montel Vontavious Porter to be Smackdown's MVP? JBL
: Absolutely. We got a lot of talented superstars, but MVP is definitely at the top of the list. Michael Cole
: How can you say that? We got so many decorated veterans on the roster. JBL
: Well mainly for the fact that it bugs the heck out of you when I do.
: [to Rey Mysterio
] I got a ticket, you little Mexican.
: Anyone can be an ECW fan! Hey, you fat boy, yeah, the fat ass in the blue shirt!
: [on Masato Tanaka
] That's my doorman!
: [on Lance Storm
] Oh my God, you can hear the paint dry. Here comes the most boring man in the history of boring. Wow! Lance Storm couldn't fill an arena if you gave away free beer with free tickets.
: This show sucks. Kiss my ass! Taz
: Why'd you come then?
: [the fans are chanting to JBL, you suck dick
] I see no women out here, and you're chanting about a male organ, now tell me who's the fruit bootie?
John 'Bradshaw' Layfield
: [on MVP's opponent, Marty Garner
] This guy looks like he's come from a concentration camp. The guy is as skinny as Chris Masters.
: [after Edge and Christian trashed Bradshaw's home state of Texas
] I want you two boys to hear this, because in just a second my boot's going to be in your ears and you won't be able to hear a damn thing!
: [gives Matt Cappotelli the props for his effort backstage before the APA Invitational Bar Room Brawl
] John Hennigan
: Each day is a lesson learned. Bradshaw
: [the APAs appeared
: Man, you guys are doing great! Faarooq
: Nothing but future for both of you. Bradshaw
: I see both of you going thru the roof! Faarooq
: Big time! Bradshaw
: Ha ha ha, huge! Hey guys, I'll tell you what, since y'all are doing so well, we got this extra invitation for that miss - who was that - who was that masked guy we had here? Faarooq
: Ah... uh... Bradshaw
: Uh, was the masked - Spiderman? Uh, something... Faarooq
: Something like that... Bradshaw
: The Incredible?... uh, anyway, we got an invitation. You guys both take this, it's for Vengeance. It's the bar room brawl, it's the first annual APA Invitational! Faarooq
: Two for one! Bradshaw
: Two for one! John Hennigan
: So, are we fighting in this? Faarooq
: Drinking and fighting! Bradshaw
: And then drinking some more! Faarooq
: And then drinking a whole lot more! Bradshaw
: We're gonna drink and then we fight and then we're gonna keep drinking. Bradshaw
: [slaps Matt's chest catching him totally by surprise
: Good luck boys! Bradshaw
: [slaps John
: You too!
[the APAs walk off
John Bradshaw Layfield
: Big Show put down your pizza, look at the monitor and realize you're about to get into the ring with greatness.
: [after Hardcore Holly entered the Rumble
] Hardcore Holly from downtown L.A! - Lower Alabama!