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Quotes for
Oolong (Character)
from "Dragon Ball" (1986)

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Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods (2013)
Birusu: Madam Bulma.
Bulma: Yes?
Birusu: I apologize for causing trouble.
Bulma: Besides that, apologize for hitting me!
Birusu: I apologize.
Oolong: [to Bulma] Are you out of your mind?
Birusu: If it's all right, please invite me to another party.
Bulma: Only if you promise not to run wild.
Birusu: I understand. But next time, I want to try that dish pudding.
Bulma: I'll have tons served up. But don't say it tastes awful after eating it!
Birusu: If it tastes awful, I'll destroy the Earth!
Son Gokû: Then we'll fight again, Lord Bills!

Bulma: [flirtatious] Hey, Lord Bills...
Oolong: It won't work, not from a middle-aged woman!
Bulma: Shut up!

[last lines]
Son Gokû: [laughs] Oh, yeah, Vegeta, when Bulma got hit, you screamed "My Bulma!" and became a great Super Saiyan!
Bulma: I felt so loved!
Vegeta: [embarassed] I don't remember saying such a thing! But, back then, I definitely exceeded your power!
Son Gokû: Yeah, without a doubt! Next time, when we're fighting someone, I'll ask them to hit Bulma!
Bulma: HEY!
[slaps Goku]
Piccolo: When Vegeta did that, you shouldn't have been there... you'd already arrived, and watched from a distance!
Bulma: Goku?
Oolong: [jumps on Goku] You bastard, are you serious? Everyone was getting battered!
Son Gokû: I'm sorry, I was trying to find a strategy to match him... but there was nothing I could think of!
Vegeta: Bulma, slap him two, no THREE more times!
Bulma: Yes, sir!
Son Gokû: I'm sorry! I regret it!

[English dub]
Beerus: Look, I like your planet, or rather I've enjoyed myself enough to not despise it entirely. I'll give you one last chance to save yourselves. I nominate you!
[points at Oolong]
Beerus: Yes, I'm singling you out, Porky!
Oolong: Who, ME?
Beerus: [licks his lips] That's right, the one who looks so delicious...
Oolong: [freaked out] He wants my bacon...
Beerus: Come a little closer, won't you?
Oolong: I taste awful! I don't exercise, I eat nothing but junk!
Beerus: All you have to do is play a game of Paper Rock Scissors! If you win I'll leave your Earth intact, but of course if I win, I'll turn your Earth to dust!
Oolong: He's kidding, right?
Krillin: I guess it's a universal game!
Oolong: Don't make me, I suck at Paper Rock Scissors!
Puar: This is great! It's your big break, Oolong! You've never had a chance to be important before! But don't lose, because if we die it'll be all your fault!
Oolong: You're not helping, Puar!
Yamcha: [whispers to Oolong] Hey, wait a second... I figured it out! I know why he picked you as his opponent, Oolong, it makes sense! This guy thinks you're just an ordinary pig with ordinary pig hooves! And a pig hoof could only make Scissors, so he'd win every time with Rock! But you're not a pig, are you? You're a pig MAN! You've got fingers, you can throw all the signs! He's gonna draw Rock for sure, Oolong, I know it! All you have to do is draw Paper, and you'll win!
Oolong: [encouraged] Stupid cat alien, thinking he's got me pegged... I'll make him sorry!
Beerus: Are you ready, pig?
Oolong: You bet!
Beerus: On three...
Beerus, Oolong: One, two, three!
[Oolong draws Paper... and Beerus draws Scissors, which beats Paper]
Beerus: You fools, don't you see my ears? I heard your whole plan!

Oolong: 38 is crazy old!
Bulma: SHUT UP!

Dragon Ball (1989) (TV)
Mao: Some fun. Looking for Dragon Balls is boring!

Mao: Hold on a minute, Lena, I only came along to keep an eye on you. I have a feeling you're just using us in this cockamamie search to get all the Dragon Balls for yourself!

Mao: Lena... if you're planning on just waltzing right into the imperial palace, you can count me out. Gin.

Lena: Come on, Mao Mao, this is your chance to meet all the beautiful princesses!
Mao: Ah! Yeah, maybe so, but what good that's gonna do me if it means getting myself killed?

"Dragon Ball: A Real Bind (#3.13)" (2002)
Yamcha: We've now reached cruising altitude.
Oolong: This trip is as far from a cruise as you can get.
Bulma: I don't know why we even bothered to bring him. All he does is think about himself!
Oolong: Why risk my life? Gimme one good reason!
Yamcha: You're going. It's not up for discussion!

Krillin: Did I hear you say Goku's on his way to the Red Ribbon compound? By himself?
Master Roshi: Yup. That's right.
Krillin: What in the world was he thinking?
Bulma: He's obviously not thinking!
Oolong: You can say that again.

Bulma: Yamcha?
Yamcha: Huh?
Bulma: [sternly] Don't think this means that i'm not mad at you anymore, but this is an emergency. So we can bury the hatchet for now - but just for now!
Yamcha: [nervously, after what happened the last time they saw each other] Uh, okay, Bulma. We'll talk everything out later when we have plenty of time.
Oolong: [cynically] If we make it to later!

Dragon Ball: Hey! Son Goku and Friends Return!! (2008)
Kamesennin Muten Roshi: Oh, I've missed the two of you, pafu pafu...
[goes for Chi-Chi's breasts]
Chi-Chi: [whacks Roshi with a frying pan] Master Roshi is as healthy as ever.
Oolong: Yeah, and just as lecherous!

Vegeta: I'll deal with them, it'll be a good after-dinner workout...
Son Goku: No, Vegeta, leave this to me! I can hardly wait, it's been too long...
Vegeta: Kakarot, this is between me and my brother!
Son Goku: Don't be like that!
Vegeta: No!
Son Goku: Oh, come on...
Vegeta: I said No!
Trunks: Papa, let me fight them!
Son Goten: Me too!
Kuririn: I think I'll fight, too...
Android 18: There's no money for it!
Kuririn: So?
Son Gohan: Me, too!
Videl: Eh?
Kamesennin Muten Roshi: I'd like to fight, too.
Oolong: It'd be better if you don't!

"Dragon Ball Z: Krillin's Proposal (#5.10)" (2000)
Oolong: Man, this is just like beauty and the geek!

Bulma: Where's Maron?
Krillin: Well, things were gettin' complicated so I broke up with her.
Master Roshi: Oh, poor guy.
Ox King: Ah, it's a darn shame.
Oolong: Well, I don't believe it. I'll bet she dumped him.

"Dragon Ball Z: What Is the Tournament? (#10.1)" (2000)
Chiaotzu: Can anyone he wants enter the competition?
Trunks: He'll take on anyone who challenges him. And he expects to have a battle with each of us... one by one.
Master Roshi: Of course. You know what he's trying to do. I do. His plan is to eliminate the competition once and for all.
Yamcha: Well, I kind o' like the idea of another martial arts tournament. I mean, hey. I think I'll dominate.
Puar: Yeah! Lets get 'im!
Yamcha: Yeah!
Oolong: Just make sure you don't get another hand through your stomach.

Mrs. Briefs: Now wasn't there a martial arts tournament a long time ago?
Master Roshi: That's correct. Ah yes. I believe I'll explain since I once won the tournament myself.
Puar: What? Master Roshi? I never knew you won it.
Oolong: Oh, you just had to get him started.

"Dragon Ball Z: Earth Reborn (#16.8)" (2003)
Krillin: Am I going crazy, or are we really back on Kami's lookout?
Oolong: What do you mean? You've always been crazy.

"Dragon Ball Z: Meet Me in the Ring (#10.3)" (2000)
Oolong: I got it. We borrow Bulma's ship, orbit the Earth, and then sit back and watch the fireworks.
Puar: Oolong!
Oolong: Yeah, I bet ol' Cell would never think to look for us up in outer space.
Puar: Only a heartless soul would run and leave his friends behind. We're in this together.

"Dragon Ball: The Victor (#5.26)" (2003)
Piccolo Jr.: There's no need to grieve for your fallen companion. You'll be joining him shortly.
Puar: Ahhh!
Oolong: Waah!
Yamcha: Monster!
Piccolo Jr.: You can all keep Goku company in the afterlife.

"Dragon Ball: A Wish to the Eternal Dragon (#1.12)" (1995)
Emperor Pilaf: I want to have the world--
Oolong: [cuts him] The world's most comfortable pair of ultra-soft underwear!!

"Dragon Ball Z: Frieza's Boast (#4.14)" (1999)
Oolong: We should forget about going to lizardville and head for the Bahamas.

Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound (1993)
Chi Chi: Gohan, I love you sweetie!
Gohan: [embarrassed] Mom, not so loud!
Bulma: You own this, Trunks! Get 'em, and then we can go on vacation!
Trunks: [to himself, embarrassed] Tactful as always, Mother.
Oolong: Krillin, don't get yourself killed!
Krillin: [to himself, annoyed] Oh, I'll survive. Then, it's bacon time.

"Dragon Ball GT: Doragon bôru jîtî: Until We Meet Again... (#1.64)" (1997)
Narrator: He was always friendly and cheerful!
Chi-Chi: Huh?
Yamcha: Huh?
Oolong: Huh?
Puar: Huh?
Krillin: Huh?
Adult Goku: What's up?
Piccolo: Goku!
Narrator: A true gentleman, and loving father!
Adult Goku: Come here buddy!
Young Goten: Daddy!

"Dragon Ball: Changes (#5.11)" (2003)
Bulma: Oolong, don't you just love Yamcha's ponytail?
Oolong: Huh? Uhh... Why? What do I look like? A hairdresser?

Dragon Ball Z: Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan (1993)
Master Roshi: Broccoli, just give it up! It's all over!
Oolong: Very tough. But his name's Broly.

Dragon Ball: Mystical Adventure (1988)
Bulma: Wow! Check it out! The Dragon Balls should be right below us, guys!
Oolong: Oh, great, it's at the bottom of the ocean.
Yamcha: Too bad we didn't bring our swimsuits.
Oolong: Known fact: Pigs don't float, I'm off the hook.

"Dragon Ball: Keep an Eye on the Dragon Balls (#1.6)" (1995)
Oolong: [notices Bulma looking around the bathtub] Now what are looking for?
Bulma: Peepholes.
Oolong: Hey, what kind of place do you think I'm running?
Bulma: Well, I wouldn't put it past you!
Oolong: What?
Bulma: [walks away] You little perv!

Dragon Ball Z: Lord Slug (1991)
Oolong: I'm allergic to fear... you know. Please, let's go home.

Dragon Ball Z: The World's Strongest (1990)
Oolong: I seriously hope you didn't tell anyone where we were going. I don't want 'em crampin' ma style.
Gohan: I promise Oolong. I didn't tell anyone.

"Dragon Ball Z: Seized with Fear (#8.1)" (2000)
Oolong: Hey, wait a minute. If those androids are going to Goku's house first and they don't find him there, isn't this the next obvious place to look?
Yamcha: Yeah, probably. That seems logical enough.
Oolong: Then what are we doing waiting around here like sitting ducks? When they get here, we're finished!

"Dragon Ball: The Last Dragon Ball (#3.15)" (2002)
Bulma: Why did you bring flowers to a battle anyway, moron?
Oolong: Because it's not a battle. It's a funeral.

"Dragon Ball: Deadly Battle (#3.18)" (2002)
Oolong: I thought I was dead.
Launch: Well if you're disappointed, I can certainly arrange something.
Oolong: No, no! I'm fine!

"Dragon Ball Z: Unwelcome Discovery (#7.14)" (2000)
Chiaotzu: I used to cook for Tien when he was training and I came up with a few of my own recipes.
Master Roshi: Here's a thought. Why don't you stay here and train with us, Chiaotzu?
Chiaotzu: Huh? Stay with you?
Master Roshi: Sure. You could stay here and train with all of us.
Oolong: Train? Heh! Come on, admit it! The only reason you want him to stay is so he'll cook for ya!
Master Roshi: That's ridiculous! I, I just thought it would be nice if he...
Oolong: Nice if he cooked for you!
Master Roshi: That's not true!

Dragon Ball Z: The Return of Cooler (1992)
Goku: I'm giving you this chance to leave quietly. I don't wanna settle this thing with violence, but you must understand, if you stay, you will leave me with no choice but to fight.
Oolong: [Facing in the opposite direction from an army of Cooler's robots] Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. Get the picture metalheads? Outta here or it's the scrap heap!
Yajirobe: Hey, that way, tough guy!
Oolong: Wha-? What're you crazy? You want 'em to hear me?

"Dragon Ball Z: The Doomsday Broadcast (#10.2)" (2000)
Oolong: Gee, look at that. Trunks is pulling on Trunks' hair.