Helga Geraldine Pataki
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Quotes for
Helga Geraldine Pataki (Character)
from "Hey Arnold!" (1994)

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Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002)
Helga: My brave little football-headed hero.

Arnold: I think I need to go lie down.
Helga: I'll go with you!

Scheck: And I would of gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling football head, that kid with all the hair, and that brat with the one eyebrow.
Helga: Ah, tell it to the judge, donut hole.

Big Bob Pataki: I could get you that pony you've been wanting.
Helga: I wanted a pony when I was five, Dad.

Helga: [as deep voice] I'm everywhere and nowhere, but mostly I'm everywhere.

Helga: I wish I had a sign.
[pigeon poops on her]
Helga: Perfect.

"Hey Arnold!: Magic Show/24 Hours to Live (#1.19)" (1996)
Helga: Come on, come on.
Harold: Alright already. Keep your shirt on, Helga.
[to others]
Harold: For all our sakes!
[all laugh]

Helga: Say something, Pink Boy!

Helga: Twenty-four hours, fifteen minutes and thirteen seconds until you die!

"Hey Arnold!: School Play (#3.19)" (1999)
Helga Pataki: [Trying to scare Sheena] You know about the end, right? She's in a crypt, you know, a mausoleum, full of dead rotting corpses and bats.
[getting steadily creepier]
Helga Pataki: And then she takes this big, sharp, rusty dagger... and she holds it up high over her head... and then
[Helga stabbing herself and gasping in pain]
Helga Pataki: Oh, it's great. Real bloody, violent stuff.

Helga Pataki: [mutters quietly] I like Arnold.
Lila Sawyer: Pardon? I couldn't hear you.
Helga Pataki: [Mutters slightly louder, but faster] I like Arnold.
Lila Sawyer: I'm sorry, Helga, you're mumbling.
Helga Pataki: [practically screams to her face] I... LIKE... ARNOLD.
Helga Pataki: I'm head over heels, hook, line, and sinker, over the moon, loop-de-loop, wow and toot!. I'm in love with the boy!.
Helga Pataki: Happy now? Happy?
Lila Sawyer: [Stares at her, then smiles cooly] I've kinda had a funny feeling you liked him.

"Hey Arnold!: Dinner for Four/Phoebe Skips (#4.5)" (1999)
Helga: [after weasling out of paying a dinner bill] There is no way I'm gonna go back in there, tell them the truth, and wind up washing dishes.
[next frame]
Helga: I can't believe I told them the truth, and I wound up washing dishes.

Phoebe: Well, I suppose the only solution would be to tell the manager the truth.
Helga: That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my entire life!

"Hey Arnold!: Monkeyman!/Buses, Bikes, and Subways (#5.1)" (2000)
Helga: [Harold has begun to hug her] Get off of me, you big whale!

"Hey Arnold!: Mugged/Roughin' It (#1.9)" (1996)
[On a hike through the woods]
Big Bob Pataki: Ugh! It's getting kind of cold. I think I should turn down this air breeze a little...
[Turns knob and it explodes, sending Bob into a tree]
Phoebe: Are you okay, Mr. Pataki?
Big Bob Pataki: AM I okay! LOOK AT ME! The food's gone! The air breeze doesn't work! ANd to top it all off- WE'RE LOST!
Helga: Lost? I thought you knew where we were!
Big Bob Pataki: I've been lost ever since I saw those signs in Spanish.

"Hey Arnold!: Heat/Snow (#1.6)" (1996)
The Jolly Olly Man: Haven't you ever heard of supply and demand?
Helga: Well, I demand that you supply me with some ice cream, before I knock your teeth out!

"Hey Arnold!: Best Man/Cool Party (#3.12)" (1998)
[the kids are thinking of ideas for something to do]
Curly: I say we paint ourselves with tiger stripes, and go free all the animals in the zoo!
Helga: [sarcastically] Fine, Curly. We'll meet you there in an hour.
Curly: [runs away cackling]
Helga: Poor twisted little freak.

"Hey Arnold!: Arnold Betrays Iggy/Helga and the Nanny (#3.10)" (1998)
[Mocking Big Bob, bowing theatrically]
Helga: All hail the Beeper King!

"Hey Arnold!: Love and Cheese/Weighing Harold (#4.7)" (1999)
Arnold: Wanna go on the tilt-a-whirl?
Lila: Well, to be perfectly honest, I sometimes get a little... queasy on the big rides.
Arnold: Don't worry. The ride goes nice and slow. You'll be fine.
Lila: Okay, Arnold. If you say so.
[She and Arnold get up and leave]
Helga: So, she gets queasy on the big rides...
Arnold: [Getting onto the tilt-a-whirl] You're gonna love this ride, Lila. it goes really slow and easy.
[the ride starts slowly]
Helga: [Walks up to the controller] Hey, mister, some of the kids are complaining that the ride's too slow. They say you should crank the speed up to really high.
Caesar: I told them it was too slow! Up! Crank it up!
[Puts the speed all the way up, then laughs maniacally, He chuckles and watches Arnold and Lila on the ride]
Lila: [after a few minutes] Oh, Arnold, I don't feel so good...
[Throws up]

"Hey Arnold!: Das Subway/Wheezin' Ed (#1.13)" (1996)
Helga: There is no way I'm taking the subway.
[next frame]
Helga: I can't believe I'm taking the subway.

"Hey Arnold!: Helga's Makeover/Old Building (#1.4)" (1996)
Helga: I am too a girl. I'm pretty. I'm feminine. I'm delicate.
[Helga bumps into someone]
Man: Oh, excuse me young man.
Helga: I'm a girl!

"Hey Arnold!: Helga's Show/The Flood (#3.15)" (1998)
[Helga is doing stand-up in the school juice bar]
Helga: My first impression is someone we all know. It's the first voice you hear in the morning, and it goes something like this:
[imitating Principal Wartz]
Helga: "Attention, students of P.S. 118, I have an important announcement. Henceforth, all lunch-related activities shall be conducted during the lunchtime period."
[normal voice]
Helga: Whoo, thanks for clearing *that* up, Principal Wartz.