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Quotes for
Cosmo (Character)
from "The Fairly OddParents" (2001)

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"The Fairly OddParents: School's Out! The Musical (#5.12)" (2005)
Cosmo: Look! There's still enough pretty color for one of us to slide down the Rainbow Bridge! Wow, there wasn't a manly word in that sentence!

Wanda: Now you're the President of the United States.
Cosmo: [takes out an USA map] Except in Florida. They are still voting.

Cosmo: My stupid, pointy hat! It's a crown again! And still not a manly word to be found!
[Jorgen smashes Cosmo into the ground with his fist]
Cosmo: Wow! That was extenuatingly manly!

Cosmo: There's still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge... Wow, there wasn't a manly word in that sentence!


"The Fairly OddParents: Masked Magician, The/The Big Bash (#5.5)" (2005)
[Timmy is searching for the World's largest egg in a scavenger hunt, and bump into a large dinosaur]
Wanda: Please be a plant eater! Please be a plant eater!
Cosmo: Please be a Wanda eater! Please be a Wanda eater!

Wanda: We've finally been invited to a party at Cupid's!
Timmy Turner: And I care about this why?
Wanda: Because, Cupid's parties are legendary in Fairy World. Everybody who's anybody gets invited.
Cosmo: Yeah, but apparently somebody who's anybody said no, because we got invited anyway! Come on!

Cosmo: You and Remy will never be able to out-scavenger hunt me, Wanda, and Timmy.
Wandisimo: So sure of yourself are you? Perhaps a bet, for the beautiful hand of your beautiful wife?
Cosmo: No way! I would never risk Wanda's love for something as worthless as a bet!
Wandisimo: [holds up a nickel] And this shiny nickel?
Cosmo: Ahh! So, shiny... So worth five cents... You're on!

Leprechaun: [sing/song] They say that old Cosmo was dense, For betting his wife for five cents. If she knows, she'll be mad. If she's gone, he'll be sad. I'm betting the pain is intense.
Wanda: [screaming] You bet me for a nickel?
Cosmo: But, it was a shiny nickel.


"The Fairly OddParents: Father Time!/Apartnership! (#1.4)" (2001)
Cosmo: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent, and Wanda loves me anyway. And that should be enough for you.

[on chores]
Cosmo: You could melt it wall with heat vision.
Wanda: Or you could wish for the chores to be done.
Timmy Turner: That's a good idea. I wish...
Cosmo: OR you could melt it, with HEAT VISION.
Timmy Turner: Gotta go with superpowers.

Young Bill Gates: I'll connect all the computers in the world. I'll call it the internet.
Cosmo: That's silly! You should call it the Timmy.
Young Bill Gates: Okay!

Cosmo: All right! Two wishes for Cosmo, none for Wanda! I'm on fire, baby!


"The Fairly OddParents: Abra Catastrophe! (#3.9)" (2003)
Cosmo: This could be a whole new adventure for us. Who knows what unique and interesting things monkeys could wish for?
Bippy: Ook ahk.
Cosmo: COOL.
[Cosmo grants wish, bannana appears]

[while the world is being ruled by apes]
Cosmo: [sings] I love the species that throws their own feces.

Jorgen von Strangle: [after being cleared of memory] What was I going to do next?
Cosmo: Uhhh... Scramble the fairies?
Jorgen von Strangle: YES! I like to scramble the fairies!

Cosmo: I'm terrible at small talk! Ask me about the weather!
Timmy: Uhhh... How's the weather?
Cosmo: JEFF! See!


"The Fairly OddParents: Boy Toy/Inspection Detection (#2.2)" (2002)
[Trying to satisfy Jorgen Van Strangle with a slide show]
Cosmo: ...And this is us cowering in fear 2 minutes ago, and this is us cowering in fear 1 minute ago, and this is us cowering in fear 30 seconds...

Jorgen von Strangle: You have failed in your responsibility as fairy godparents!
Wanda: So what? It's just a stupid inspection! You wanna send us back to the fairy academy, fine! But right now Timmy needs our help!
[Wanda poofs away and Jorgan glares at Cosmo]
Cosmo: Don't kill me!

Jorgen von Strangle: [Cosmo and Wanda have just passed their fairy examination by delaying Jorgen for a long time] Your delaying tactics were obviously part of your overall presentation.
Wanda: Uh, sure.
Cosmo: We'll go with that.
Jorgen von Strangle: Very impressive. Highly original.
[shouts]
Jorgen von Strangle: Don't do it again!


"The Fairly OddParents: Spaced Out/Transparents! (#1.2)" (2001)
[Cosmo and Wanda are talking to alien]
Cosmo: The good news is, I named my nickel Phillip.
Timmy Turner: Uh, what's the bad news?
Cosmo: It's a girl nickel.

Cosmo: The good news is the alien we got you is actually the prince of the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.
Wanda: And his parents are on their way here to destroy the Earth and rescue their son.
Timmy Turner: What's the bad news?
Wanda: Oh, wait, that *was* the bad news.
Timmy Turner: Then what's the good news?
Cosmo: I found a nickel.

[Cosmo and Wanda are posing as Timmy's parents and are attending a parent teacher conference. Mr. Crocker brings out an electric chair to determine whether they are fairies or humans]
Denzel Crocker: May I offer you a chair?
Cosmo: Sure! May I offer you a fish?
[Cosmo gives Mr.Crocker the fish. Crocker slips and falls backwards into the electric chair with the fish]
Cosmo: Fish sticks!
Denzel Crocker: I'll be right back after I chip off the dead skin.


"The Fairly OddParents: Action Packed/Smarty Pants (#2.3)" (2002)
Timmy Turner: Cool, I have five o'clock shadow.
Cosmo: And it's only 7 am.

[after his knowledge has been sucked out]
Timmy Turner: What's going on? I don't know anything anymore.
Cosmo: Welcome to my world.

Timmy Turner: Cosmo, Wanda, I don't know anything!
Cosmo: Welcome to MY world!


"The Fairly OddParents: Foul Balled/The Boy Who Would Be Queen (#2.6)" (2002)
[after Timmy wishes that Cosmo and Wanda switch genders]
Cosmo: [offscreen in the bathroom-Cosmo falls in the toilet] Ahh! Would it *kill* ya to leave the lid down?
Wanda: Would it *kill* ya to look before ya sit?

Wanda: He's stealing second!
Cosmo: Third!
Man: My wallet!
Woman: My watch!
Dad Turner: My pants!
Mom Turner: You came without those, sweetie!
Dad Turner: Right!

Timmy Turner: Congratulations! You're now Cosma and Wando.
Cosmo: What's happening? How come I suddenly know which boy bands rock out loud?
Wanda: I don't know! Why am I tempted to scratch myself and not care who sees?


"The Fairly OddParents: Channel Chasers (#4.8)" (2004)
[Cast becomes Sesame Street-type puppets]
Vicky: Today's show has been brought to you by the letter "V".
[Vicky laughs as she carries the V with her, and jumps into fake TV, then Young and Old Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda appear]
Young Timmy Turner: This way! Quick!
[Young and old Timmy walk off, leaving Cosmo and Wanda]
Cosmo: I've never felt more alive! Get it? Felt! FELT!
[everyone starts jumping into the TV]

[Last lines, imitating Porky Pig]
Cosmo: Well... Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th...
Wanda: Cosmo, what's the matter with you?
Cosmo: Nothing. It's just really cold in here.

Young Timmy Turner: Older? What happens when I get older?
Cosmo: Ah, Timmy. It's time for a little talk about something we fairies like to call, "The Wands and the Wings."
[Cosmo gets out a pink sock puppet and a green sock puppet]
Cosmo: You see, when a mommy fairy and a daddy fairy love each other very much...
Wanda: Cosmo, no! Not that speech!


"The Fairly OddParents: When L.O.S.E.R.S. Attack (#8.9)" (2011)
Cosmo: I was a little disappointed in the vegetable medley. The carrots were way off-key.

[last lines]
Cosmo: My eyes are numb.


The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour (2004) (TV)
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: [Jimmy is trying to activate Timmy's auto-poofer] Maybe it responds to voice commands. To Retroville!
[disappears and re-appears a few feet away]
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: Darn it. Maybe I need to go further away.
[goes outside the room]
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: To Retroville!
[disappears and re-appears inside the room]
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: OK, maybe further.
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: [leaves the house] To Retroville!
[disappears and re-appears in Timmy's room]
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: Darn It.
[Travels to the Mexican Border]
James Isaac 'Jimmy' Neutron: Llevame A Retroville!
[disappears and re-appears in Timmy's room]
Cosmo: Hola, Senor Fudge-Head.

[Jimmy mistakes Cosmo & Wanda for super-intelligent computerized holograms]
Cosmo: Ooh. Ooh. He called me super intelligent! This looks like a job for...
[picks his tiny brain out of his nose]
Cosmo: ...my brain! Go ahead, go ahead, ask me something!
Wanda: Why are you still talking?
Cosmo: SEVEN!


"The Fairly OddParents: Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary/Nectar of the Odds (#2.9)" (2002)
[after being turned into a turtle by Wanda's ex-boyfriend]
Cosmo: Revenge. REEVVEENGGE.

[after having his hand kissed by Wanda's ex]
Cosmo: That's my hand bub, and I don't need magic to turn it into a fist.
[Tries unsuccessfully]


The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide (2006) (TV)
Cosmo: Do you feel illogical, punk? Huh? Do you?
Sheen: I was born illogical! Ask the doctor!

[Anti-Cosmo locks Calamitous in jail with Jorgen]
Professor Finbarr Calamitous: I thought you were going to be my collaborator. You lied to me.
Anti-Cosmo: Yes, I do that from time to time. It's almost like I'm evil. Tah-tah.


"The Fairly OddParents: Timvisible/That Old Black Magic (#2.4)" (2002)
Cosmo: [in Spanish class] Itengo un puerco en mis shortis!
Wanda: You have a hog in your pants?
Cosmo: [pulling a hog out of his shorts] ¡Si!


"The Fairly OddParents: Hard Copy/Parent Hoods (#3.16)" (2003)
Wanda: You don't think...?
Cosmo: I never think!


"The Fairly OddParents: Shiny Teeth/Odd Odd West (#2.14)" (2002)
Cosmo: That's wiggity-wiggity-wack!
Wanda: Whattity-whattity-WHAT?


"The Fairly OddParents: Blondas Have More Fun/Five Days of Flarg (#5.6)" (2005)
Fairy Hart: [at Zappy Awards] And the Zappy goes to... Blonda!
Blonda: I just wanna say that I couldn't won this without the help of my dowdy sister Ronda- oh, Wanda. Excusez-moi.
Cosmo: Hey! You helped Blonda win the Zappy.
Wanda: And she got Jorgen to stop blaming me and Timmy to stop making x-treme wishes. And best of all, I'm friend with my sister again.
Cosmo: Yes, you're totally hot sister. What? I chose you, didn't I? Of course, it was dark.


"The Fairly OddParents: A Wish Too Far!/Tiny Timmy! (#1.3)" (2001)
Cosmo: I'd Like to make a motion
[starts dancing and singing]


"The Fairly OddParents: Information Stupor Highway (#3.1)" (2003)
Cosmo: [to Wanda] Pull my wand.
[Makes a loud farting noise]
Dad Turner: Whoa, what has your mother been feeding you?


"The Fairly OddParents: It's a Wishful Life/Timmy's 2D House of Horror (#5.8)" (2005)
Cosmo: 3d's? Just like Timmy's report card!


"The Fairly OddParents: Cosmo Con/Wanda's Day Off (#2.15)" (2003)
Wanda: Welcome to the Secret Fairy RV & Boat Show!
Cosmo: Look at me! I'm seaworthy! Look at the size of my poop deck!
[blows horn]
Dad Turner: Ewww! Jeez, son. If you're gonna do that, shut the door. Not mine!


The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3: The Jerkinators! (2006) (TV)
Wanda: Oh no! Now he's got super powers, and he's a genius!
Cosmo: Just like Dr. Phil!


"The Fairly OddParents: Fairy Idol (#5.19)" (2006)
[last lines]
Cosmo: [Cosmo and Wanda are turned into piles of string] Neat! I'm string! YAY!


"The Fairly OddParents: Super Bike/A Mile in My Shoes (#2.5)" (2002)
Wanda: And Cosmo still hasn't gotten over Super Toilet...
Cosmo: It took the plunger, the whole plunger.
[Cosmo curls into fetal position and sucks thumb]


"The Fairly OddParents: Ruled Out/That's Life (#2.13)" (2002)
Cosmo: This episode has been brought to you by the society for healthy colons.


"The Fairly OddParents: Dream Goat!/The Same Game (#1.6)" (2001)
Timmy Turner: A dead end! I'm doomed
Cosmo: Well, you've lived a good life.
Timmy Turner: I'm only ten!
Cosmo: I said good not long.