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[Timmy is searching for the World's largest egg in a scavenger hunt, and bump into a large dinosaur
: Please be a plant eater! Please be a plant eater! Cosmo
: Please be a Wanda eater! Please be a Wanda eater!
: We've finally been invited to a party at Cupid's! Timmy Turner
: And I care about this why? Wanda
: Because, Cupid's parties are legendary in Fairy World. Everybody who's anybody gets invited. Cosmo
: Yeah, but apparently somebody who's anybody said no, because we got invited anyway! Come on!
] They say that old Cosmo was dense, For betting his wife for five cents. If she knows, she'll be mad. If she's gone, he'll be sad. I'm betting the pain is intense. Wanda
] You bet me for a nickel? Cosmo
: But, it was a shiny nickel.
[after Timmy wishes that Cosmo and Wanda switch genders
: [offscreen in the bathroom-Cosmo falls in the toilet
] Ahh! Would it *kill* ya to leave the lid down? Wanda
: Would it *kill* ya to look before ya sit?
: He's stealing second! Cosmo
: Third! Man
: My wallet! Woman
: My watch! Dad Turner
: My pants! Mom Turner
: You came without those, sweetie! Dad Turner
: Congratulations! You're now Cosma and Wando. Cosmo
: What's happening? How come I suddenly know which boy bands rock out loud? Wanda
: I don't know! Why am I tempted to scratch myself and not care who sees?
[about being fairy godmother to the monkey, Bippy
: I don't know what's worse, the butt scratching or the scintillating conversation.
[Timmy, disguised, threatens Crocker
] Denzel Crocker
: Hmm. What could an evil ruler say in a time like this? Wanda
] I'm gonna let the fairy go? Denzel Crocker
: NO. But good try, though. I respect that. He'd say SILENCE.
: When are you going to let me out? Denzel Crocker
: What's today? Wanda
: Tuesday. Denzel Crocker
: Wednesday, Thursday... NEVER!
: You don't think...? Cosmo
: I never think!
[Timmy's parents are mistaken for the Souvenir Bandits and arrested
: They're intwined in the American legal system. It could take *years* to get them out, even with magic!
Jorgen von Strangle
: You have failed in your responsibility as fairy godparents! Wanda
: So what? It's just a stupid inspection! You wanna send us back to the fairy academy, fine! But right now Timmy needs our help!
[Wanda poofs away and Jorgan glares at Cosmo
: Don't kill me!
Jorgen von Strangle
: [Cosmo and Wanda have just passed their fairy examination by delaying Jorgen for a long time
] Your delaying tactics were obviously part of your overall presentation. Wanda
: Uh, sure. Cosmo
: We'll go with that. Jorgen von Strangle
: Very impressive. Highly original.
] Jorgen von Strangle
: Don't do it again!
[Last lines, imitating Porky Pig
: Well... Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th, Th-th-th... Wanda
: Cosmo, what's the matter with you? Cosmo
: Nothing. It's just really cold in here.
Young Timmy Turner
: Older? What happens when I get older? Cosmo
: Ah, Timmy. It's time for a little talk about something we fairies like to call, "The Wands and the Wings."
[Cosmo gets out a pink sock puppet and a green sock puppet
: You see, when a mommy fairy and a daddy fairy love each other very much... Wanda
: Cosmo, no! Not that speech!
: [in Spanish class
] Itengo un puerco en mis shortis! Wanda
: You have a hog in your pants? Cosmo
: [pulling a hog out of his shorts
: That's wiggity-wiggity-wack! Wanda
: Finally! A romance novel to shake the ages.
[she starts typing
: "It was dawn. I was in my towel when the ninjas attacked..."
: [at Zappy Awards
] And the Zappy goes to... Blonda! Blonda
: I just wanna say that I couldn't won this without the help of my dowdy sister Ronda- oh, Wanda. Excusez-moi. Cosmo
: Hey! You helped Blonda win the Zappy. Wanda
: And she got Jorgen to stop blaming me and Timmy to stop making x-treme wishes. And best of all, I'm friend with my sister again. Cosmo
: Yes, you're totally hot sister. What? I chose you, didn't I? Of course, it was dark.
: The good news is the alien we got you is actually the prince of the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia. Wanda
: And his parents are on their way here to destroy the Earth and rescue their son. Timmy Turner
: What's the bad news? Wanda
: Oh, wait, that *was* the bad news. Timmy Turner
: Then what's the good news? Cosmo
: I found a nickel.
[Timmy has just wished he had no emotions whatsoever
: So, sport, how do you feel? Timmy Turner
: I do not.
[Jimmy mistakes Cosmo & Wanda for super-intelligent computerized holograms
: Ooh. Ooh. He called me super intelligent! This looks like a job for...
[picks his tiny brain out of his nose
: ...my brain! Go ahead, go ahead, ask me something! Wanda
: Why are you still talking? Cosmo
: Now you're the President of the United States. Cosmo
: [takes out an USA map
] Except in Florida. They are still voting.
: Welcome to the Secret Fairy RV & Boat Show! Cosmo
: Look at me! I'm seaworthy! Look at the size of my poop deck!
] Dad Turner
: Ewww! Jeez, son. If you're gonna do that, shut the door. Not mine!
: Oh no! Now he's got super powers, and he's a genius! Cosmo
: Just like Dr. Phil!
: You could melt it wall with heat vision. Wanda
: Or you could wish for the chores to be done. Timmy Turner
: That's a good idea. I wish... Cosmo
: OR you could melt it, with HEAT VISION. Timmy Turner
: Gotta go with superpowers.
: And Cosmo still hasn't gotten over Super Toilet... Cosmo
: It took the plunger, the whole plunger.
[Cosmo curls into fetal position and sucks thumb